What is Your Favorite Book?

A question I’ve asked, and been asked, over and over again in my life.

Is it bad that my gut reaction these days is to respond:

“Either my Shaw McLeary Mystery books, starting of course with Reckless Abandon or my most recently released California Dreamin’ book, Makeup Your Mind.”

I guess that’s just the shameless self-promoting writer in me talking though, right?

Because, if I really think about what makes a book a favorite book, the criteria might actually preclude my own. (Well, okay, not all of my own but definitely a few.)

For me to call it a favorite, I want a book that stays with me. For years after I read it. I don’t necessarily want to remember every minute detail of the plot, dialogue, story, but I definitely need to remember the way a book made me feel.

And I don’t care if I feel scared, sad, happy, or any other of the numerous emotions I align to while lost in a fantasy world. I just need that feeling to show up.

Books, and I’m talking fiction here, are written to make you feel. At least, I think they should be written for that reason.

You should be uncomfortable. Afraid to sleep at night. Turned on. Wiping away tears. Laughing and nodding while saying out loud “girl, I’ve so been there!”

Because you’re supposed to become one with the characters. You’re supposed to be inside that fantasy world for all intents and purposes.

Otherwise, what’s the point of reading?

To me, I love books that play in my head like a movie, whether that book has been made into a visual representation or not.

For example, when I heard that Lord of the Rings was being made I immediately went out and bought the book so I could read it first. Especially with an epic novel like that, I want to see the characters, scenes, settings in my imagination before I see what someone else sees (like Peter Jackson).

And I was glad I did because, just like every other book-turned-movie, there was so much more to discover in the crafted words than on the screen. And that’s saying a lot because those are some of my favorite movies of all time.

But, I’ve been thinking a lot about what my favorite books are, because a writing colleague recently posted a quote from one of my childhood favorites, The Velveteen Rabbit.

This isn’t my original copy. The truth is, I was really sad when I realized I think my original copy is gone forever. Lost in one of my many moves or prior learning experiences.

That makes me sad because I read the hell out of this book until I was well into high school. Ask me if I give a shit that’s it’s allegedly written for kids.

Hint: I don’t.

So I got on Amazon and ordered up another copy. I wanted to see for myself if the feeling I carried around for this book remained the same when re-reading as an adult.

Truth? I think I might have enjoyed it even more in my middle age.

I hate to use the word “classic” because I think that puts a certain connotation in people’s minds about the literary hoity-toity-ness and/or age of a book. But, that’s exactly what The Velveteen Rabbit is, a classic piece of literature.

As a kid I struggled with acceptance. With being bullied. With a general sense of being different than everyone else. Because I was. And back then that was considered a bad thing. Kids didn’t know how to own their shit like they do in these times***.

In the 80’s it wasn’t cool to wear hand-me-downs. It wasn’t cool to be poor in my hometown, because poor meant you couldn’t afford the latest and greatest fashions, music, outer symbols of being cool. And everyone was doing it. Everyone was so much cooler than me.

So I read, and re-read, books like The Velveteen Rabbit because it was a book about owning your shit.

Who cares if you’re perfect? Perfection is grossly overrated and, like we discover in the pages of Margery Williams' book, it is only after we’ve been essentially ridden hard and put away wet that we discover the true beauty of who we are on the inside.

Because outsides are just glamour.

What really matters is our soul, spirit, how we treat other people, how we treat ourselves. And even though none of us asked to be here, we all have a reason to be walking this earth. Every single one of us has value, a purpose.

The rabbit fulfilled his purpose and ended up even more alive in the end.

Talk about a book that, still to this day, makes me feel!

What’s your favorite, or some of your favorite books, and why do you love them?

***I totally understand that bullying and the like is still a huge issue today and maybe even more so because of the web and social media. I do not mean to belittle what happens in the circles of today’s youth by trying to say things were worse when I was younger. What I mean is that, in my day, we didn’t have an outlet to find other people who felt different and connect to that sense of community (in an anonymous way) like kids have available today. The web is a place of destruction and community. As a kid incessantly picked on for most of my childhood I would have loved to have the resources available to me that kids have these days. If you are being bullied or are otherwise feeling helpless, hopeless, please reach out to trained professionals that can help you remember how fucking amazing you are. A good place to start: StopBullying.gov with links to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

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In addition to this drivel I also write books, both fiction and non-fiction.
Learn more on my author page.

Trying New Things

I wish I could tell you the new things were related to current work.

That I flew off to an exotic location to do a book signing because they just had to have me. Or how I singlehandedly wrote the next book in my series in a surge of inspired greatness overnight. Then again, it could be The Coast on the phone with the details of the option to turn my book into a movie.

But, none of those things are true. At least, not yet.

The new things I’m talking about are all pretty much makeup products.

And here’s where I lose most everyone…

Bye!

Okay, now that there are only a few of us left, let’s talk about the pretty colors and tropical smelling goodness!

Squee!

But first, some backstory for those who are new here.

Quite a while ago, my sister got back into makeup. She got me interested in trying a bit of war paint again after many years of giving the thumbs-down to most all makeup. You can read all about that story here.

Then I found the whole industry so fascinating (wait, I can buy organic skin care, products that are good for my skin, and they have shades complimentary to translucent people now?) I wrote a book, with a main character striving to become a freelance makeup artist, called Makeup Your Mind.

And I figured that would be that. My interest in makeup would basically fade away and I’d be left with a few nice things to use until two years (ahem, five years, ahem) past their expiration date like usual (don’t judge me, I’m not a beauty guru).

However, that’s not what happened at all.

In fact, now that I’ve discovered there actually are products that work with my skin tone, skin type, to enhance what I already have, I’ve become even more interested.

If I were a beauty guru, this is the time I’d say either, I’m shook, or, I’m obsessed.

Are they still saying that? Probably not. Anyway…

Just call me a consumerist and call it a day. Yup. I’m brainwashed. Hooked. Whatever.

I’m still not a full glam, false eyelashes kind of girl and the likelihood that level of makeup will happen in my life is slim to not-a-fucking-chance (glue near my eyes? Uh, no thanks).

But a light wash of colorful prettiness that makes my cheekbones and eyes stand out, as opposed to my jowls and age spots? Uh, sign me up!

And over the past few weeks I’ve found three holy grail things I don’t want to live without.

Here they are.

Yes, technically this Pacifica palate is a 4-in-1 product but that could be why I love it so much.

Here’s why I love them all. And, no, this blog isn’t sponsored or whatever those YouTubers always have to disclaim. I’m not an affiliate and I don’t make money if you decide to purchase these items.

(Unless you go buy Makeup Your Mind <-- shameless self-promo, but I digress)

Eyeshadow was one of those things I basically stopped using because I have loose old-lady skin on my lids now and by four hours after application the creasing and wearing was so bad it was easier not to deal at all. But I’ve secretly always loved doing really dramatic stuff with my eyes to make the blue-green color pop. And I missed that.

So when my sister gave me a NYX shadow primer that didn’t work for her I tried it. Um, can someone say game changer? If I apply and immediately set with a powder I can get a full ten hours out of my eyeshadow now and it Will. Not. Budge!

Thanks sister!

Then there’s the Palate from Pacifica. Swoon!

So I’m an Ipsy subscriber and they often partner with Pacifica. In my first year with Ipsy I got two things from the brand in question. First, a duo with blush and bronzer. Then a five shadow mini palate. When I say I hit pan on all but the gold shadow I’m not exaggerating.

It was like the skies opened and heaven sent down these items just for me. Designed for a more natural look, the colors were perfect for me. Buildable but pigmented. All the things I wanted without the most chemical crap. Plus, they are planet and animal friendly.

Cruelty free? Check. Made with coconut oil and other skin benefiting ingredients? Check. Vegan? Check. They even have a recycling program when you hit pan and empty out a product.

Like I said, this post isn’t sponsored or affiliated, I just think they have a nice thing going. The BB cream, not for me (but it smells like vacation, like all of their products do), but look at this palate.

I mean, beautiful, right?

The blue shadow was new to me and it has a golden-green shift on the lid. So pretty. The highlights are cream and only one of them is a little too unicorn on my 44 year old face. Otherwise, I intend to use all of these up. And hopefully it will be available to re-order when I do!

Finally, the setting spray.

So, I bought this last summer to give it a try. Tried it and hated it. I felt shiny, not dewy. Kind of greasy. And I have super dry skin. Which is why I love it now. It too has coconut oil (though the full ingredients list isn’t all natural, it isn’t super sketchy either). And bathing in coconut oil still might not be enough to hydrate me in the winter in the desert.

I literally turn into a lizard at this time of year.

So, when my Wet ‘n Wild setting spray started to itch my face off I had the makeup epiphany.

It’s okay to be a little extra.

I really don’t like being high-maintenance. A little concealer under the eyes, mascara, mineral lipstick and out the door. That’s what I used to do. But Cherry Davis got me into learning more and now here I am.

Moderate-maintenance.

A girl with two different setting sprays. One for each season in Phoenix. AKA: monsoon and plants-survive-because-all-the-moisture-is-wicked-out-of-humans.

The one with alcohol (I know, I know, but I’m cheap and it works and I only do my face like twice a week in the summer) works during the humid season and this Hard Candy one is like a dream come true for my face in the winter!

So there you have it. A girl once into makeup (in junior high/high school) went basically bare faced and has now come full circle back to trying out some enhancers.

And the real beauty of the thing is that, whether I love my look or hate it, I wash it all off at the end of the day.

• • • • • • • • • • •
In addition to this drivel I also write books, both fiction and non-fiction.
Learn more on my author page.

Interview on The Author's Show and Book Release for "Makeup Your Mind"

So many great things have been happening in the past few weeks I hardly know where to begin!

Let’s start at the shortest update about the longest string of words I’ve put together in a long, long time. NaNoWriMo. I won!

At 50,169 words I validated my “novel” on November 22, 2017. It felt great getting this win for multiple reasons.

First, I found the beginnings of the next Shaw McLeary Mystery, Missing Miles.

Second, I had a CRAZY BUSY month and still managed to pull out a win (more on that in a minute…).

And, finally, this is the first time I’ve won in seven years. Holy crap that’s far too long! I’ve taken part in the challenge 4 times over those 7 years (2012, ’14, ’15, ’16) but this is my first real win since 2010.

Which leads me into other intertwined updates of course…

One of the main things I did over the past couple months, aside from NaNo, was some marketing and promotion for my recently released book 30 Chapters in 30 Days: Write a 50,000 word novel without feeling blocked.

First, I shared some of my personal and professional advice with the readers of the NaNo blog in my article: NaNo Prep: How to Write Believable Characters (and Push Your Word Count!).

With that article looming out there, plus a book telling people how to make it through the challenge of NaNoWriMo I kinda figured I should get through it this year as well. I mean, practice what you preach, right?

Right!

In the spirit of that, I also took part in another internet radio interview. As mentioned in the title, my interview giving even more detail and info on 30 Chapters went live on The Author’s Show TODAY!

I’m going to do my best to create a link to the interview so you all can come back and listen anytime you like but the first broadcast of the show is a brief 24 hours and then, poof, it’s gone off their website.

Listen to my Author’s Show interview here until November 30, 2017, just click on my name in the gray box.

What a crazy experience that interview turned out to be behind the scenes. And you know I’m all about the brutal honesty over here, especially about myself, so here’s the tea.

I nearly fucked up this entire thing.

Okay, that could be a bit over-dramatic but not much. The day I was supposed to talk there were timing issues (in AZ we don’t do DST but at the time of scheduling neither of us realized the clocks would flip). All of that was my fault for lack of preparation. Ugh. What I will blame on myself, but still hold a grudge against technology for, were my issues with Skype.

When I thought I was calling Don, my interviewer, I tried about ten times and Skype kept kicking me off/out and forcing me to log back in. I rebooted multiple times but my laptop is a dinosaur and takes FORever to do anything.

I was already 30 minutes “late” and panicked because I had a chiropractor appointment right after our interview. One more reboot and Skype seemed to finally want to work. But it was already too late. I had to jam.

I called from my cell and left Don a rambling, probably incoherent message about how sorry I was. As I pulled up to my chiro, I picked up the message he left while I was driving.

The one that said I was a full hour EARLY. Like I said, DST.

After all the confusion we managed to reschedule (bless him!), and on that day I tested Skype minutes before the interview (Matt is my hero!).

Don called, we chatted, I was prepared AF and feel like it was one of the better interviews I’ve ever done. Talking about that book while in the throes of NaNo reminded me I needed to open her up and take my own advice for how to get through the challenge.

It worked!

I have so many chapters that will be cut when I edit but it helped me better see the characters and where they were going. It also helped me step away from caring if my novel was perfect. And, not gonna lie, it felt great to rack up another NaNo win!

So, of course, because I didn’t have enough going on already, in the midst of NaNo I also listed my latest, book 3, in the California Dreamin’ Series, Makeup Your Mind for preorder on Amazon.

Click the title in that last paragraph, or right here to pick up your copy today!

My nail art at the beginning of this post is my nod to the book cover:

And I’m soooooo excited to get this one out there. Cherry Davis might be my favorite character I’ve written since Perth. She’s spunky, sexy, and self-sufficient. She’s a young retail whore living and working in the mid-nineties in coastal Cali.

I’m in love with her. Seriously. I might need to see a therapist.

But, regardless, her story officially hits the digital shelves tomorrow November 30, 2017 and I couldn’t be more excited!

It has been a fun, frustrating, but overall totally satisfying career month.

I’d love (LOVE!!!!!) you forever if you’ve already read either 30 Chapters or Makeup Your Mind if you’d be so kind as to review them on Amazon or Goodreads. Reviews don’t really count for an author until there are at least 25 so please tell your friends, share the book love, share your opinion (even if you hated them both, I literally don’t care just review!).

Thanks!

And now, look out December, I’m coming in hot for a vacation. After the month I’ve worked, it feels like I’ve earned a week off.

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In addition to this drivel I also write books, both fiction and non-fiction.
Learn more on my author page.

Is Anyone Still Falling for this Scam?

Okay, I get it. The world is smaller, population larger, and employment pool shallow. So, if we want to survive in this world, we better be able to fend for ourselves. Get creative and learn how to make money in non-traditional ways.

But, is this idiot serious?

Wait. Let me back up for a second. This part of the backstory is important.

I got my first email address in 1997. It was an exciting time for me. Mostly, because I worked for a company that created and implemented healthcare software. I think. Honestly, I was the greenest person where IT was concerned.

No joke. Ten years or so prior to getting that job I sat in an office only a mile up the road as my mom worked an on-call shift and I uttered the words, “nobody in the world will ever use those stupid computer things. Who wants that in their house?”

Yeah.

In my defense, computers in the late eighties weren’t exactly the graphic wonders of ease they are today. They were big and clunky and so expensive my mom would have needed five jobs just to afford one of the things.

Fast forward to 1997.

Computers, for better or worse, were a thing everyone wanted in their house.

Oops.

Tired of a life of being a retail whore, I decided to get an entry level job in an office. Your friendly Receptionist, Jenn, at your service.

I started as a temp. It was the easiest work I ever did. And I don’t mean to demean Receptionists by saying that, there is a lot of work to do, it’s just, that work isn’t exactly solving the world’s problems. Or coding software.

Learn the phone system, everyone’s name, and password to the computer and literally anyone who can say “Thank you for calling MMS, how can I direct your call?” can do my first corporate job.

Monkey work. I was fucking great at that job. Zero real responsibility. Twice the pay I made at the mall. Every weekend off. Button pusher. Big fake smiler for visitors and employees. If I wasn’t doing what I was meant to do with my life right now, I swear I would go back and get a job as a Receptionist. One with zero ambition of advancement.

But that’s another story. This one is about why all that time in corporate America has me questioning the motivations of people in these modern times.

As a gal working with a bunch of techie types in most every corporate job I ever held, I guess I was at an advantage over the average Joe. I got my education on the job.

As little as I knew about the online world when I started that first job, nowadays, I’m pretty well seasoned to the internet-at-large. 1997 was the same year I heard the term ‘urban legend’ for the first time.

I distinctly remember when and why one of my co-workers shared those two glorious words. An email. Of course it was a freaking email. There was no other way to internet scam people back in those days other than through email.

We didn’t have social media. We had chat rooms. Nobody even used their real name, we certainly weren’t asking for each other’s bank account information. We talked about stuff like football and movie stars.

The email in question, however, scared me. Some poor person had their kidney removed and woke up in a bathtub full of ice!

I mean, can you even imagine?

I was a club girl. For years my nights from Thursday through Sunday were spent in dark, smoke-filled, loud-as-fuck nightclubs. Most of the time I was broke. And I loved (correction: still love) to dance. I also despise falling over. So 90% of the time I went dancing, I was stone sober.

Club guys didn’t like that. They wanted me drunk and pliable. Sucks to be them. Thanks for asking, you can get me a bottled water and I’ll let you grind up on me on the dance floor. But you probably won’t be taking me home. This is about dancing mofo.

So, when I opened that email I started thinking of the other 10% of the time. The times I went out and actually had a couple bucks to spend as well as a desire to get plastered. How easy would it be to wake up in a hotel room after being drugged? How easy would it be for someone to surgically remove my kidney and leave me to die in a tub?

I clicked forward and sent that warning to most of the people I knew.

Moments later, I learned the term urban legend, as provided by one of the techs at the company. He was, of course, nice enough about it but made sure to let me know it was in fact a scam.

From then on I learned to filter the internet through my cynicism before forwarding anything.

But, just to be safe, I pretty much stopped drinking when I went dancing.

That urban legend email was the day my curiosity with the interwebs came to a screeching halt. Wait, what? People try to steal your money online? And nobody has lost a kidney in a hotel bathroom?

My mind flashed back to the office with my mom. I suddenly wished I’d stuck to my guns. Computers were nothing more than a big waste of time. Right?

I got all the scams, but was lucky enough to know they were false. So, I guess I assume that twenty years later everyone with an email address has seen and dismissed just about every email scam that’s ever been tried. That old scams were forever a thing of the past.

That is, until I opened my email this morning and read this:

Dear: Friend.Assalammu'Alaikum I am Mr Hamza Mohammed, I need your assistance to transfer an abandoned sum of(US$20.5million us Dollars) into your Bank account 50/percent will be your share,50% for me and 10% for any income expenses that will come during the transfer,I need your assistance only keep the business secretly. No risk involved but keeps it as secret. Contact me for more details. Please reply me through my alternative email id only for confidential reasons,( mrhamzamohammed8@gmail.com ) I am waiting for your urgent respond to enable us proceed further for the transfer. Yours faithfully,Mr Hamza Mohammed.

Really?

I mean, if this former tech neophyte could learn what not to do online then I figured everyone with an email already knows to filter shit like this to spam.

Who is still falling for this con that someone is still selling this con as legit?

Does anyone think they might hear about millions of dollars in abandoned money (earmarked for them) in a freaking email? No, I mean, like I said, I was once very green too but come on. Even back then I never would have fallen for something like that. Who just gives a stranger their bank account information?

Who reads this and thinks, “Oh good, my ship finally came in!”

The email alone tells us everything.

Things wrong:

1. The email sender: mrhamzam9@aol.com. I know some people still use AOL but, really? Again, welcome back to 1997. I’m pretty sure if I get an email that someone wanted to give me up to 10 million dollars it would come from @lawfirmofchoice.com.

2. Math. Look, I’m a writer and numbers aren’t exactly my forte if you will, but even I know the cliché of “I gave it 150%” can’t be real. 100% is the actual maximum available. Especially when we’re talking about a finite number. For example, “US$20.5million us Dollars.” So if we take “50/percent,” and add that to “50% for me,” then again add 10%, I’m simply left scratching my head. Where exactly does Hamza expect to find “10% for any income expenses” lying around? Which one of us must sacrifice our $2mil to these foreseen expenses?

3. That grammar. I literally can’t even. That sentence is about as fragmented as it gets and it still makes more sense than any single sentence in Hamza’s email.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind the 1997 throwback (especially with a book set in the mid-nineties about to drop [Makeup Your Mind] I’m pretty much all about the decade right now), but the guy might as well have told me someone was going to steal half my liver and stitch me up with yarn.

I know better. That 10% of the time I spent drinking took care of my liver.

Try again Scammy McScammerson.

Photo courtesy quick meme

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In addition to this drivel I also write books, both fiction and non-fiction.
Learn more on my author page.

The 20 Words I Hate Related to Internet Sales

Marketing. Ugh. Am I the only one? I can’t be. I mean, if you’re a person in an online environment with a product or service to sell then you pretty much have to eat, sleep, and breath internet marketing these days. Right?

Well yippie-freaking-skippy.

It’s all just words. Shiny things strung together to entice a person into spending their hard earned dollars. And, you know I’m a person in an online world with a product to sell, but, come on.

I write books. Books that fall into pretty specific categories, genres.

Why does that matter? Because keeping someone on the line with a hook is good to get them in the boat but a minnow gets tossed back even though it was still technically considered catching a fish.

Let me put it like this, I tell people I’m an author. Every time a man asks for a business card or my information I say the following line:

“Here you go, but you should probably know you’re not my target audience.”

I’m not a person who will try to snake-oil anyone into buying something they don’t want or need because what good does that do me in the long run?

None. The answer is none.

Those people won’t be my repeat readers. They won’t promote me. They will toss that card in the trash and continue on with their lives not giving a crap that card cost me $0.09. Minnow.

But anyway, I thought I’d share some of the words and phrases related to the new age of selling that kind of make me want to hurl.

1. Strategy (Good luck getting one in a world that changes by the hour.)

2. Content (Usually of the “quality” or “fresh” variety. You mean, words?)

3. Marketing (If you can read it then it’s probably marketing.)

4. Authentic (Having to tell people you are something makes me question how true the statement really is.)

5. Tribe (No, just, no. You aren’t related, descendants. You are on the internet. You are a group or community.)

6. Sell without selling (Yeah, I’ll get right on that. See #2 & 3, right?)

7. Social networking (Essentially redundant.)

8. Quality work (See #4.)

9. Drive traffic (It’s an oxymoron and I hate it.)

10. Authority (How are you supposed to get this if you can’t tell people things without it?)

11. Monetize (This literally means to turn into money. Which literally means a website can’t perform this task.)

12. Avoid self-promotion (Screw rules. Here's some now - shameless self-promotion!)

13. Insert website here (And gasp at people who aren’t using it. Fucking hipsters. It’s already obsolete.)

14. Capture your audience (Uh, I think that’s illegal…)

15. Industry trends (You mean, like, every word/phrase written in this list?)

16. Engage (The definition of this word is: to attract. It has nothing to do with continuous back-and-forth, like people who tout their abilities in #3 want you to believe.)

17. Consistency (Density. Uniformity. Constant and unwavering adherence to a principal or action. AKA: zero flexibility.)

18. Click-bait (The marketing industry can’t make up its mind. Do you want me to click or tell people not to?)

19. Above-the-fold (This phrase has no business outside the newspaper industry. Your mouse has a scroll wheel for a reason. The internet has no fold. Except the folds of time, ever reduced every time you get onto the internet.)

20. Thoughtful posts (So subjective. Who are you to tell me if I’m being thoughtful?)

Sadly, I have to admit to using some or all of the above tactics to get my work in front of readers. 'Tis the way of the internet and the online purveyor of goods.

I would do anything for page rank.

Wait, that's still a thing, right?

• • • • • • • • • • •
In addition to this drivel I also write books, both fiction and non-fiction.
Learn more on my author page.

Insert Catchy Title Here

Yet again, I'm coming back to my old trusty friend after a freaking recoculously long break. Seriously, my last post here was in May? No wonder I'm so irritated. This used to be my therapy.

Sort of.

But now I don't even know where to begin. Maybe the start is a decent option. But if you've ever read my words on this blog then you already know how many times I've "apologized" for slacking off on writing here because I spend all day, every day, writing.

Well, I'm over it.

I'm done with following convention. The concept never sat comfortably with me before, and after trying to fit my square head into a round hole in the brick wall for the past 5 years, I'm done with the banging.

My forehead hurts.

Matt & I sat around the other night talking about my business, career, work life and how/why things are so stagnated. In the end he was right, it's time to break some fucking rules.

AKA: 

He said something that really hit home. To him, it didn’t appear that I was having as much fun with my work and writing life as I used to. That maybe I’m not doing what I “love” for a living.

At first I denied it saying, no babe, I love my job!

But I spent the whole day yesterday working on my business plan for Writesy Press, frustrated that I wasn’t doing as well as I wanted to be doing at this point in my career and it all just suddenly hit me.

I fucking hate doing the writing I’ve been doing for the past 3 years. It just isn’t me.

I mean, I want to sell my books of course but struggling for 3 days a month to come up with, essentially, 350 headlines/hashtags/clever ways to make people read my articles and then miraculously decide to spend their money on my books is a giant waste of my time.

Let me just say that I understand in today’s market there’s no way to sell without marketing. I also get that most writers would rather slit their monitor than try to sell to people.

I’m a shameless self-promoter. That’s my voice. I don’t tease you with clickbait only to under-deliver and have you click away before even thinking of buying my stuff. Though I’ve been pretending that’s me for a few years now.

Instead of

“Will Shaw get away and find love? *|URL|* #whothehellcares”

I’d much rather just rant about losing my passion for the past 3 years and say you can get my books here if you want to know what that passion is.

But for far too long now I somehow thought it was smarter to write to force advice and tips down the throats of other writers. And sure there are a lot of new writers who need help. But I finally realized yesterday that I can’t actually help any of them.

Every writer has to do it their own way. Every writer has to get over fear of releasing their words in their own time. I can’t help them find their voice either. Hell, I couldn’t hold onto my own for close to half a decade so why would they even listen to me anyway?

No matter how many times I pick up the pom-poms to try to encourage someone it just won’t matter, because I’m no cheerleader.

I tried and quit cheerleading in the same week when I was about 12 years old because I realized I just don’t have that much spirit. Cynical advice isn’t really a thing.

I’m over it. I’m over trying to encourage people to do the very thing I can’t seem to figure out how to do – sell their books with countless, useless words that fall on deaf ears. And I’m over trying to tell people the best practices for anything just so my blog gets a few extra notches in the search engines.

It feels fake, and fake makes me squirm.

If I’m going to advise anyone of anything it’s going to come out like this – in snarky little bits of random babble that eventually have some kind of meaning. Maybe. Even if it’s just to see how fucked up my life is so it will act as a warning to others.

But I can’t tell anyone what to do with their own words. That’s just tacky.

So I’m over it. And instead, I’m back over here.

And in case you wondered, here’s some other things I'm also over (that all the top marketing people would have a heart attack if they read):

- Giving a crap what platform my blog lives on. Blogger has been good to me since 2007, it's free and I understand how it works. I’m sure Wordpress is great for marketing but, see above rant for why I just don’t care about any of that.

- Caring if I'm optimized for SE-whatever. I'm not a marketing god so I just don't have time (or mental capacity) to care about any of that. If it hits Google well yippie-do. If it doesn’t then I guess nobody is going to read it outside my family anyway.

- Length and layout of my posts. Sometimes it'll be 4 words and an image. Sometimes 4,000 words and no sub-headers. If you can't handle it, don't read it. The thing is called Randomness and Lunacy for a reason.

- Posting consistently on some rigid schedule. Blech. This blog thing may have morphed over the years but they started out as online journals and I’m old so I like things the way they used to be. And I can’t guarantee that I’ll have some perfect post to share every Friday at 7:02 AM because someone once said that’s the best time for a blog to go out.

- Grammar. Yeah, I know I’m getting tossed out of the writer’s club for even admitting that one out loud but I write this blog like I talk – stream of consciousness – so sometimes my sentences will be fractured, or (much more likely) run-ons, and sometimes I’m ending a sentence in a pronoun. Anyone who cares about that can suck it.

- Being perfect. Ah yes, I saved the biggie for last but I’m sure you knew it was coming. I will curse like a sailor. I will write and blog crap just to write (case in point: you’re reading it right now). I’ll ignore family, friends, laundry, personal hygiene and eating just to get words out at times. I’ll be lost in my own head and character development at least 50% of the time you spend time with me. Okay, it’s probably closer to 98%. I will study you and your demeanor so I can use it in a book. I will be awkward all the time, way too intense and serious and say shit that makes the average person uncomfortable. You're welcome.

I won’t be everyone’s taste but I just don’t care because, like Matt reminded me of last night:

“Well-behaved woman seldom make history.” – Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
and I’m still of the belief that I’m going to do just that.

• • • • • • • • • • •
EDITOR's NOTE: As of November 2015, shit is gonna get real. I'll no longer focus on my pitifully visited blog for new writers, every freaking blogger has a blog for new writers and I'm tired of trying to muscle my way into a club where the snacks already ran out. Because, what's the point if there's no food, right? Instead, I'll be back here and focused on bringing you the most random of the inner workings of my head as well as sharing short fiction pieces in my newsletter. Sign up, read them, bookmark this site...or whatever other call to action I'm supposed to use in this situation.

What’s Up with This Gender Debate in Sports Love?

Okay, who out there likes sports? In particular, who enjoys hockey? I do. Not a shock if you have hung around here for any length of time. I mean, not every post I publish is about hockey but a good majority of them are. In fact I just counted and out of my 412 posts since I started this blog in October 2007 I tagged 57 with something related to hockey or the Bruins. 14%? Not a bad stat. But also clearly not all I ever write about (despite what some of you might think come playoff time).

As most of you know by now my first novel, Ripple the Twine, is about a female Sportswriter from Boston who is obsessed with the Bruins. I used to be that girl too; many years ago I was quite the hockey fan. I went to lots of games with friends and family, professional or even just my high school games in town. The Beanpot was something I grew up watching every winter. But I let hockey slide when I got more into football back in the Nineties and only revived my intense love of the ice when I wrote the book. You all know the story by now.

When I came back to hockey a lot had changed as far as rules and the like and I wasn’t well versed in how to follow along with more than the puck. Then I started thinking about it and realized that back in the day I called myself a big fan of the Bruins but if we’re being honest here I didn’t know anything more than the names/numbers on the back of the guys sweaters and that if the puck went in the net you scored a goal.

But no one was kicking me out of The Garden or laughing at me because I couldn’t talk Goalie GAA and didn’t know what a two-way forward was. I stood up and cheered when those pucks hit the twine along with the other 17,000 some odd people and I’d wager that a good majority of them were just like me.

No, not female. Clueless in general. But not because of gender.

Fast forward to doing the research for Ripple, I got into a whole world of new information. I mean I was writing the character of a Bruins-obsessed Sportswriter. A female one in a man-centric world. I had to know more about the sport so I could make her convincing. I had to know what would make her tick and I really started to pay attention to the game. To the players, how plays form, how a winger knows exactly what his line mate is going to do and why. How it’s so much more than scoring and/or stopping goals.

And let me tell you I was hooked. Pun intended.

The action, the pace, the skill level of these athletes is, in my opinion, unmatched in the world of sports. Because they train and battle just as hard as any other athlete but they do it on a slippery surface in skates at extremely high rates of speed. Hardcore.

And then there was the cuteness. Now as a self-proclaimed Tomboy I’m pretty much always going to have a thing for the rough and tumbled Townie types. Not sure just what that is? Here’s a visual guide:



Andy Ference, Keith Yandle, Carey Price, Zach Parise, Rick Nash, Patrick Kane, Jerome Iginla



It seemed great that I could watch sports and appreciate the game play but that as a female (who is attracted to men) I got the best of both worlds in that I could appreciate the hotness of the players too. I never thought twice that it would be considered a bad thing to think a guy was attractive. All those guys in that graphic up there are current roster players on one team or another (But yeah, I omitted Sydney Crosby just because).

It never occurred to me that females were frowned upon in a sports community because they could enjoy a good looking man in addition to a hard hitting sport. Or that their knowledge of a sport would be called into question because of their gender. Or that just because they like the color pink they’d be labeled idiots in the eyes of the “official” sports police: aka men.

It never occurred to me I’d have to defend my knowledge base to men. I just liked talking about and watching sports.

Kathryn Tappen moved from NESN to NHLSN and she certainly isn’t laughed at. Naoko Funayama is the ice-level commentator for the Bruins. It never occurred to me that females would let themselves be frowned upon. And then I came across this controversial article the other day (this is a re-post of the one from the NY Rangers site that was taken down after the deluge of backlash that ensued).

You should read it, I’ll wait.

You got all that? Yeah I just have one question for the writer of this article:

Um…what the fuck?

Now here’s the thing. Do I begrudge this writer her opinion? No not in the least. If she’s more comfortable going to 70% off sales and asking the man in her life for advice on how to be a fan of sports then that’s her business. What I can’t get behind is her willingness to just put it out there so casually as if the entire female population should nod along in agreement and start saying ‘Oh good, finally I can stop watching sports seeing as though I only did it for my dad/grampa/husband/brother/boyfriend/uncle/friend and get back to Macy’s where I belong.”

The Rangers were smart and took it down but this narrow view going up at all makes me sad. I wonder if the man in her life is writing the ‘Men’s Guide to Asking Women About Shopping’. Because lord knows none of them ever did anything for themselves before we came along, right ladies? Thank goodness we were able to save them from all that confusion!

Really?

I’m not saying that women shouldn’t ask those in the know for help if sports is something they don’t understand and want to take a more active role in enjoying. And I’m definitely not saying they shouldn’t ask a man for that help. All I’m saying is why assume it has to be something a man knows and a woman doesn’t? Or that a man cares more than a woman?

In our house my husband taught me the finer points of baseball and I taught him the finer points of football and hockey. Neither of us looked down on the other for not knowing. Matt does most of the cooking. He’s the romantic one most of the time. I know lots of stuff about tools and construction.

Does this make us any less man or woman? Hell no.

So as the controversy continues to swirl about this posting I beg all of you to think more about how this relates to the perceived notions of the sexes and their roles in society and not how women can be just as big fans of sports as men.

Because in the end I don’t think the article had as much to do with sports fandom as a gender’s alleged place in the lineup.

Photos from here, here, and here

Yeah, I’m Breaking the Rules

My self-imposed rules that is. What’s that you ask? Am I going out of the house shopping today or something? HELL NO!! Not those kinds of rules. I mean the part where I announced I wouldn’t be online or writing anything all weekend. Hey, it’s not my fault. My family was supposed to be my buffer and everyone is still passed out from family, food & festive fun yesterday.

When left alone in the house at 7:00 in the morning what the heck else am I supposed to do other than whip up a blog post and eat blue cheese mix on Ritz crackers and a slice of apple cranberry pie for breakfast? I mean Thanksgiving only comes once a year and those are my cheat foods.

But I digress (as usual) because this post isn’t about food…

There’s really only one reason I got online when I wasn’t supposed to and that’s to tell everybody that Reckless Abandon**, my Romantic Suspense novella released last month on Amazon, is free to download this whole weekend! Woo hoo!

The best ranking I’d reached up to now was about 48,000 in my top category. Which as far as I’m concerned for a relative nobody Author like me (at this moment) I was pretty stoked about that. When I woke up this morning I checked before I even started promoting the thing and HOLY CRAP!!!

Though ranking numbers change by the hour as of right now (8:00 AM in Phoenix) it’s at #7520 in the Free for Kindle store. But those numbers aren’t the ones I’m tripping out over. The part where I’m dropping my jaw in astonishment is where I’m #72 in the Women Sleuths category and #90 in Romantic Suspense.

Hang on and let me let that sink in a second…of the 5,453 books on Amazon Kindle store that are Romantic Suspense my little novella is at a ranking in the top 100 after only 8 hours on the free list.

Okay, my mind is officially blown! I need to do a little more digging around my Author tools to see just how many downloads it has gotten but I may not let myself do that until Sunday after it comes off the promo weekend.

I’m really, really proud of this book and to see it move up the ranks like that makes me overjoyed! Well that and it also makes me want to keep going. To write more, to continue on with this series, and to release a quality piece of fiction to accompany this effort.

If you’d like to check out the book you can see Reckless Abandon on Amazon Kindle store here. If you download the book and read it please let me know what you think! I’m an Indie Author and we live by reviews. Thanks in advance!

Hope you’re all having as wonderful a weekend as I am over here. SO MUCH to be thanks full for this year!

**Reckless Abandon - FREE download Friday - Sunday & you don't have to step foot inside a store