Call Me Shocked

You know how sometimes our celebrity crushes, if you will, come to us via osmosis? When we all fall in love with a celebrity, famous person, entertainer, and then discover someone in their life is just as awesome and talented? This happens to me all the time, usually with musicians but occasionally with other entertainers as well.

I’ll give you an example.

Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan launched their careers by starring in Step Up. Jenna had already been acting for 4 years when the movie came out. Channing, only for two. While his career went stratosphere, can’t grocery shop for himself, paparazzi chase down, hers continued without as much fan-fare.

She had plenty of credits to her name (more than her husband in fact) but the biggest credit probably came when she added the name Tatum to a hyphenated Dewan. Which kind of sucks but only kind of. All of a sudden there were tons of people who wanted to know her, to watch all of her past work, to hire her for future work, just because she and Channing got married.

That desire to know about the people in the lives of the celebrities we love is the reason I came to know Patty Duke.

I read every teeny bopper mag back in the 80s. All of them. Because all of them back then featured a boy who still remains at the top of my celebrity crush list all these years later, Sean Astin.

It was only a matter of time before I read enough about that cutie to find out he came from a very famous family. Hollywood royalty if you will. His dad starred on The Addams Family. His mom not only won an Oscar for her portrayal of Helen Keller in The Miracle Worker, but 17 years later she came back to that story playing Anne Sullivan.

Helen Keller was a woman we studied in school. Probably because her primary place of residence, and where Helen first encountered Anne, was in my home state of Massachusetts. And I grew up idolizing that woman’s story.

Deaf and blind. Not only learns to speak but goes on to become one of the most accomplished women in history. She spoke to huge crowds. She wrote numerous books. She was a leader and activist who helped change perception of deaf and blind people.

That woman, along with Joan of Arc and Florence Nightingale, were my childhood heroes.

So when I found out that my celebrity crush’s mom played a woman I idolized, I knew I had to see the movie. But there was no Netflix, Amazon, or internet back in those days. If it wasn’t available on video I had to wait to watch it on television if it made the rounds.

I rented it. No way I was waiting.

I watched it and I cried. For the first time since I got interested in learning real stories about real people, I discovered an actress who left it all on the screen. All of those connections – her birthing of my favorite actor, portrayal of one of my favorite women in history – made her a permanent fixture in my brain.

Osmosis.

Then I needed to watch, learn, read all about this amazing woman I’d discovered, Patty Duke.

Her book, Call Me Anna, was the first Autobiography I ever read. I found her journey to, through and out the other side of the Hollywood machine (somehow still intact as a person despite the bipolarity), to be so inspiring.

Back in those days I still had these delusions of grandeur that I’d become a world famous actress. So it was cool to read about a woman who not only did it but seemed to maintain some type of family values, teach them to her kids, and hold onto her soul in an industry that can, and will, suck it right out of you if you’re not careful.

She became a new hero to me. I bought her book and read it about 10 times. Tried to get my hands on everything she’d ever made so I could watch her performance of literally becoming a different person for the cameras. She told stories, some salacious and irreverent, others powerful and moving, but her resume is huge.

To learn of her passing yesterday hit me a lot harder than I would have expected considering I didn’t actually know this woman. Just her name, face, relations to the actors I liked, work she’d done starting back in 1954. She was about 12 years old, I wouldn’t even be born for another 19 years.

I couldn’t explain it, the reasoning for feeling so sad, but maybe the woman she embodied said it best:

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart.”- Helen Keller

To celebrate your life I will once again read your Autobiography. RIP Anna Marie "Patty Duke" Pearce.

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In addition to this drivel I also write books, both fiction and non-fiction.
Learn more on my author page.

Seeing the Person for the Politics

In doing all this research for real estate agent blog posts, I started noticing a trend. No matter where I focused my attention one of the top things people look for is a neighborhood full of nice people.

That’s it. Plain and simple. People don’t want to be surrounded by assholes. Shocker, I know, but it really got me thinking about what’s truly important about our neighborhoods.

Also, what makes someone “nice” as opposed to not nice?

That was a biggie for me to consider. Especially in these months leading up to a presidential election.

I mean, are you a dick because you share a differing political view and put a sign in front of your home for a candidate I don’t support? Because you want solar panels on your roof that I’ll have a view of from my back yard? Because you let your dog sit outside in the backyard and bark all day long at everything? (Okay to be clear, yes, that last one makes you an awful person, take better care of your animals for goodness sake.)

The world is made up of lots of different kinds of people and it feels sometimes like we’re more divided now than we ever were before. But why is that?

Is it because of niceness or of perceived niceness?

I have no idea what political party my neighbors are affiliated with because they don’t have signs out front. But let’s just say they were backing a candidate I loathed and displayed as much with signs and banners, that wouldn’t make me any less likely to wave and smile as I passed their house. Because that’s the literal depth of our relationship. And I like that, it’s nice.

If I started yammering in their face about why their candidate sucks so bad or why they should choose someone else, well, that would make me the dick. Frankly, I don’t know those people well enough to become an opinionated asshole trying to change their already made up mind.

I don’t hang out with my neighbors, never have and probably never will. I don’t know how they treat their spouses, children, pets (except that freaking dog, seriously), friends, family. I do know they always smile and wave. So I do the same.

Because of politics, could I change my mind about their niceness? In short, sort of, but not on purpose. If everyone in my ‘hood put signs in front of their house wouldn’t we know exactly who they are just because of some rectangular piece of cardboard displaying the name of another person?

I’ve been conditioned to believe certain things about each candidate and in turn apply all of those convenient labels to the people supporting said candidate, right? I mean, haven’t we all?

In this particular presidential election I think that’s the essential driving force behind every candidate. Yes, every candidate.

If you support Clinton you support a liar, hence you must be a liar.

If you support Kasich you clearly don’t support equal rights for women. Women hater.

Bernie? Idealistic socialist.

Cruz? Conservative Christian.

Trump? Racist, sexist, misogynist with no political experience or soul.

Because each of these messages is the thing the news media wants us to believe about each candidate. Nobody cares whether the facts are 100% true or not. All we care about is that we support X, Y, or Z and the other ones are all idiots. All wrong.

But that’s exactly the opposite of how we should look at this thing.

I know someone who supports Kasich, we had a conversation about it last weekend. This person is someone I consider to be one of the nicest people I know. Fun, loyal, supportive.

All I said in response was:

“There’s no way I could vote for that guy, I have a vagina.”

Because, in response to the politics, the things he does or doesn’t support as a matter of policy, I can firmly state that he would never be my candidate of choice.

Again, I have no clue if Kasich is a nice man or not. We don't jam on Friday nights. But I’m not about to judge someone I already know to be nice as not nice just because they support the guy and I don't.

That’s the kind of shit that got us into this name-calling firestorm to begin with.

The other night we were watching the NatGeo series Generation X and I was taken back to my youth. To a time before I even knew what politics were. Before I knew that the president could never be the sole decision maker for our country.

I have no clue how little nuggets get trapped in the brain, things we remember forever even if we rarely access the memory. Things like how to make pasta sauce, shortcuts in our hometowns after not driving those roads for decades.

Or maybe even the chorus of a super cheezy afterschool-special-esque stage show that I saw maybe once about 30 years ago (or more).

Before I knew what hit me I was singing the entire chorus to Matt, word-for-word, straight from memory. The show?

Up with People.

Did you ever see it? Did the troupe make the rounds to your school back in the late ‘80’s, early ‘90’s? They made it to Arlington and I loved it. The cast looked like extras who all jumped out of the cafeteria on Saved by the Bell with their brightly colored clothing and khaki pants.

Or maybe they were the backup dancers for The Jets.

Either way their message was all about being positive, being nice to each other. As a kid who was bullied for a lot of my youth it was super inspiring to hear adults singing their little hearts out about being kind, caring towards each other.

I felt like, maybe, once I got out of school I’d find where all those nice people were and we’d start our own little think tank of love and positivity.

Throw a fist into the air in stop-motion while smiling! Let’s dance! Woo!

All I’m saying is, sometimes, I like being idealistic. It allows me to go back to that time in my youth where I could assume everyone was nice unless they acted like a dick to me on a personal level.

But it had nothing to do with politics or party affiliation, what neighborhood you lived in or the color of your scrunchie. It had to do with being open hearted, accepting of differences, and understanding that while those differences may not be your personal choice, they were their choice and the right to choose is the very thing that should bring us together, not push us apart.

Maybe all of the candidates and their supporters need to be reminded of that moment in their youth when they believed that anything was possible.

This one’s for you guys.

“It don’t help nobody up when you put somebody down.”

• • • • • • • • • • •
In addition to this drivel I also write books, both fiction and non-fiction.
Learn more on my author page.

When in Doubt

Only one post went out in February and now it’s March and I’m starting to think about spring cleaning.

Of my profiles.

I keep looking over what I do, what I write on a daily, weekly, monthly basis and I’m starting to realize that half of what I do isn’t really worth the time I spend.

My focus needs to come back because the real work is going to suffer if I don’t get it together. I miss the blogging and actually dread the days on the calendar that I schedule to write my tweets. The idea of a newsletter seemed great but I don’t prioritize working on it.

What I do like working on every single day are the following things:

This blog.

Fiction books.

Other books.

Blogs for clients.

Yup, that’s it. And everyone will say that I have to spend some kind of time on social media in order to stay relevant or in front of people but honestly, that seems silly.

Because if I don’t want to put in the time then those probably aren’t my people so why do all that work for something I don’t even want?

Right.

So in an effort to kick this blog back into something I update on the regular, I’m going to share two wonderful memes I found on Facebook. Because if you’ve been reading over here for any length of time you know I can’t pass up a lame ass meme.

26 things about me...

A- Age: 42

B- Biggest fear: Never getting it all done.

C- Current time: 2:36 PM

D- Drink you last had: water

E- Every day starts with: coffee

F- Favorite song: No way I could answer this, it changes too often.

G- Ghosts, are they real: yes

H- Hometown: Arlington

I- In love with: Matt

J- Jealous of: People who know how to start conversations with strangers without sounding or seeming awkward. (See blind date question below)

K- Killed someone?: Not that I know of.

L- Last time you cried?: can’t remember

M- Middle name: don't have one

N- Number of siblings: 1

O- One wish: To make a real living wage with my writing.

P- Person you last called: Mom

Q- Question you're always asked: Why aren’t you having kids? Which I assume will change in the next ten years, as I start looking too old to have them, to: Why didn’t you ever have kids?

R- Reason to smile: warm days and sunshine

S- Song last sang: Stuck - Melissa Ferrick

T- Time you woke up: about 7am

U- Underwear color: Excuse you, that’s a little personal for a meme.

V- Vacation destination: the beach

W- Worst habit: Being too hard on myself about my creative process.

Y- Your favorite food: Bianchi's pizza

X- X-Rays you've had: tomboy - too many to remember

Z- Zodiac sign: I’m convinced I’m actually a Gemini sometimes.

The Bucket List

( ) Shot a gun

(X) Gone on a blind date – Literally only once. It was weird. I was awkward. Oh no that’s not me being self-deprecating but I was actually cute or something, I was awkward. Example that I still haven’t forgotten even to this day (approximately 16 years later): I told him that I never leave the house without mascara then proceeded to continue that conversation for about ten minutes. Yeah.

(X) Skipped school (See ‘been on TV’ question below)

( ) Watched someone die

(X) Visited Canada – And I fully intend to visit again someday. Maybe for an extended period of time, say, four or so years. We’ll see. I hear Vancouver is lovely in December.

( ) Visited Hawaii

( ) Visited Cuba

(X) Visited Europe

( ) Visited South America

( ) Visited Las Vegas

( ) Visited Central America

( ) Visited Asia

( ) Visited Africa

(X) Visited Florida

(X) Visited Mexico

(X) Seen the Grand Canyon in person – Only way to do it, seriously. Come on out and visit in warm times and we’ll take you!

(X) Flown in a helicopter – I think but could be wrong about this.

( ) Served on a jury

(X) Been lost

(X) Traveled to the opposite side of the country – If it means coast-to-coast then not yet but I think Boston to Phoenix should count.

(X) Visited Washington, DC

(X) Swam in the ocean

(X) Cried yourself to sleep

(X) Played cops and robbers

(X) Played cowboys and Indians

(X) Recently colored with crayons – I colored in a picture of a bunny and painted blood coming out of its mouth. The conversation with the kids led to watching the scene from Holy Grail of course.

(X) Sang karaoke – Does Rock Band count?

(X) Sang a solo or duet – Does Rock Band count?

(X) Paid for a meal with coins only – Back in the day when I was a poor college student eating at Taco Bell, most of the time.

(X) Made prank phone calls

( ) Laughed until some beverage came out of your nose

(X) Caught a snowflake on your tongue

( ) Had children

(X) Had a pet

(X) Been skinny-dipping

(X) Been fishing

(X) Been boating

(X) Been downhill skiing – Once. Never again.

( ) Been water skiing

(X) Been camping in a trailer/RV

(X) Been camping in a tent

( ) Driven a motorcycle

( ) Been bungee-jumping

(X) Gone to a drive-in movie – One of the first times I remember going to the movies was to the drive-in actually. I think the one my mom & aunt took us to was Snow White but the second showing (which I should have been asleep for) was On Golden Pond. Great movie, still love it, and especially at age seven-ish I was blown away.

(X) Done something that could have killed you – I’ve talked about this before.

(X) Done something that you will regret for the rest of your life – Because of the post linked above you might think my answer is yes. In truth my emphatic response is no. I wouldn’t be me if it wasn’t for everything I’ve seen, done and not done so regret would only mean I felt un-whole somehow. And I don’t.

( ) Rode an elephant

( ) Rode a camel

(X) Eaten just cookies or cake or ice cream for dinner – Um, how about all 3 at the same time. Just don’t make me count out the number of times this has happened over the years.

(X) Been on TV – Evening Magazine local Boston program in the early 90’s. And, like I said, it never would have happened if it wasn’t for skipping school. And New Kids on the Block.

( ) Stolen any traffic signs

(X) Been in a car accident

( ) Been in the hospital in past 24 months

( ) Donated blood

( ) Gotten a (speeding) or any other type of ticket in the past 12 months

(X) Gotten a piercing

(X) Gotten a tattoo

( ) Driven a manual transmission vehicle

( ) Ever owned your dream car

(X) Been married

( ) Been divorced

(X) Fell in love

(X) Fell out of love

(X) Paid for a strangers meal

(X) Driven over 100mph

( ) Been scuba diving

(X) Written a published book/story/poetry

( ) Eaten snails

I Get Lost

In my youth I was a mall rat. From the time I started working, as a babysitter at about age 13, I spent most of my free time and money at one of several malls in my area. And I got my first mall job as a teenager.

Technically, saying I spent money at the mall means this whole post disqualifies me from 2/3 of the Kevin Smith definition of mall rat: “They're not there to shop. - They're not there to work. - They're just there.”

Which is fine. I was just as happy to hang out as I was to work, and shop, at the mall.

There was something comforting about being enveloped by the latest trends in consumerism day in and day out. You experience a sterile, bland feeling that overtakes you as soon as you walk through the door to a mall. It isn’t quite clinical like a hospital but the level of perfection achieved in window displays, squeaky clean floors, and toothy smiles on the faces of every (disgruntled) employee, always brought a similar smile to my face.

Entering a mall is a lot like entering a casino. Think I’m kidding? There are more similarities than you might think.

Lighting tricks are used. Where a casino keeps the captive from noticing there’s a world outside due to lack of windows, malls usually have a lot of windows. They allow natural light to pour in during the day, forcing a level of euphoria for shoppers and employees alike.

Good luck finding a clock. Time doesn’t exist in the mall. Unless you work in the stock room. Plus, that directory you’re looking for? Yeah, you’ll need to traverse the entire mall to find it. Clever marketing tactic. You’ll probably end up shopping while on the way to find where you want to shop.

Not to mention, they’ll gladly take all your money without a second thought. Nobody in retail gives a shit if you can afford what you’re buying. Those people are making about $12 an hour. And probably spending their entire check in the very place that provides it every week.

And I was definitely one of those people.

Back in those days, I always loved the mall. I could get everything I needed in one indoor adult playground. Tampons, diamond studded high heels, a back scratcher, and an extra set of keys? A mere mile apart. Need a prom dress, set of bowls, a haircut, and a specialty watch engraved for your 2 year anniversary? You can have it all within the confines of those walls.

Why would anyone want to spend their time anywhere else?

When I was younger there were four malls I could get to on the T: Woburn, Assembly Square, Burlington and Meadow Glen.

Burlington mall was the go-to location. I only needed to catch one bus right out of Arlington center and in 30 or so minutes I could pass through the doors of consumerism with ease. Not only did I hang out there (usually at Heel Quik, the shoe repair place where all the cute boys worked), but over the years I also worked there in multiple stores.

However, Burlington mall and the others didn’t have the one store that Meadow Glen had. The money waster of all money wasters.

The recording studio.

I can’t remember the official name of the place but I could get there in my memory a million times over. Through the doors of the food court, straight across the main hallway and all the way to the back of the mall, down the hallway nobody ever visited, on the end on the left.

Friends, family and I spent time there trying to convince ourselves we could sing. Or at least do Karaoke over a pre-recorded background track. 9 times out of 10 we wasted money by singing along to songs by New Kids on the Block or some other popular pop artist of the time.

My sister, who could actually carry a tune, busted out an awesome rendition of Debbie Gibson’s Lost in your Eyes. I might even still have the cassette tape of that recording somewhere.

We’d sing our little hearts out then go get cheese fries at Friendly’s, or a bacteria laden smoothie at the juice place. On the very rare occasion I had a couple bucks left, I’d usually spend them on magazines or buttons with Jonathan Knight’s face.

All of that time “in the studio” even convinced a few of us we should start an all-girl band back in high school. We called ourselves Girls on the Move. We took the train to Dorchester or Roxbury, and by some miracle of chance, we located the studio of uber-producer, Maurice Starr.

Then we sat on a couch in front of this enormous music presence and sang some sugar-laced pop song at the volume of a nervous mouse. Which prompted Mr. Starr to smile and all but shove us out the door.

Hey, we tried.

But all of those terrific experiences in my life likely never would have come to light if it hadn’t been for the influence of the mall.

So I had mixed emotions when I heard that the very site of our initial star-in-the-making location was about to become a grocery store or some other everyday store with no character of its own.

Meadow Glen officially closed its doors forever last week.

Over the past couple decades Meadow Glen went through lots of changes. The recording studio and everything down that hallway fell by the wayside in favor of some cheaply made crap stores. Casual Corner, and all the other clothing stores where shoulder pads weren’t optional, closed years ago.

They tried to keep the place alive with chain restaurants, party supply stores, and some other shops that just couldn’t cut it in the end.

In all honesty I probably haven’t stepped foot inside that mall in well over ten years. Maybe fifteen. After I stopped working in retail I tried like hell to limit my time spent in malls to, well, never if I could help it.

Because, really, why bother?

Every mall is pretty much the same these days. The same overpriced stores. The same lame merchandise. The same snarky and irritated employees making little money for a thankless job.

So, I guess it felt weird that I was as bummed out as I was to hear my former favorite dirt mall was closing its doors forever. But nothing really lasts, right?

Except maybe nostalgia.

Goodbye Meadow Glen, thanks for all those ridiculous teenage memories.

I came across the picture above on Facebook shared by a share of a friend. If you took this photo and would like the credit please contact me so I can add that info to the post. Thanks!

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In addition to this drivel I also write stories people like to read. AKA: Fiction. I release one every month, free for you, in my newsletter Facts & Fiction. Sign up now because you won't read these stories anywhere else. Make 2016 better. Do it now!

We'll Get a Table near the Street

Every time I listen to that Brad Paisley song “Letter to Me” I full-on cry. No, I’m not kidding. Despite the fact he sings about boy things solely applicable to himself – Playboy, chewing tobacco, dating girls – I still can’t help it.

The song reminds me of where I was at age 17, how far I’ve come, why all the drama of those days just doesn’t matter anymore, and how I wish I could go back in time to remind myself that everything is going to be fine if I just chill the heck out.

Oh hell. Just typing the premise of the song has me choked up (thanks again perimenopause!)

Anyway, I’ve talked in the past about this thing that happens to me with some songs. And, as a side note, this thing that happens is the very reason I never want to know what a song is really about. All the artists can keep that to themselves, thanks. I like to feel my music. And in cases like the Paisley song, though I can’t specifically relate to the words, I can relate to the overall feeling behind the words and music.

Best way I can describe what happens? The song lyrics will remind me of a feeling I have inside, not a specific time and place.

And “Scenes from an Italian Restaurant” is another one of those songs.

I don’t know anyone named Brenda or Eddie (or more appropriately, as the song goes, BrenderenEddie because those two names are really just one word). I don’t know anyone who owns a waterbed, paintings from Sears, or enjoys rosé with their meal. Nor do I know a single person who hangs out with a group of people (called the greasers) at the village green.

The lyrics and references in the song tell us it took place in 1975. A year when I was 2 years old. Hardly wishing two crazy friends well on their doomed-from-the-start marriage.

But something about that song makes me long for those two people that Billy sings about to be the romanticized version of my parents.

BrenderenEddie are two people who once loved each other so much, but just couldn’t make it together, sitting across from each other at their old favorite place to eat, years after they divorced, catching up on how both of their lives went on without the other. That they’ll never forget who they were then but how much happier they are now.

The funny thing is that I have very few Billy Joel songs I can even tolerate anymore. Let me back up for a second and explain.

After living in LINY for a couple years I was SO burned out on hearing Billy Joel every 5 minutes that I pretty much stopped listening. (Seriously, I sometimes thought about staging a Billy Joel v Mariah Carey cage match to the death just so we could get some different music on the FM stations).

Last night revived my love for the man and his music. I’ve never heard him do “Scenes” live before. And I never stay up until 11:30 at night. But when Jimmy Fallon announced that was the song Joel would close the show with, I grabbed my toothpicks to prop open my eyelids and just listened.

May I just say, holy crap! He still sounds great even after 43 years in the business (fun fact: his first single “Piano Man” was released just 130 days after I was released!).

If you’re interested in checking out last night’s performance you can check it out here.

And, in case you’re wondering, no, I didn’t cry last night. It was far too late for that much emotion.

But re-watching it this morning…

Image courtesy Microsoft clip art

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The Influence of Television

Yesterday I was over at Jim’s blog, Suldog, and he had written this great post about television and his top 5 shows of all time.  I laughed, I cried, I did all the usual things I do when reading one of his posts (including but not limited to: snorting, dropping my jaw in surprise, cackling hysterically, marveling in the way he can spin something small like TV shows into something so well written).

As I was commenting back I realized I’d already typed about 200 words and decided instead that it would make for a good post of my own.  So in piggybacking my own drivel off Jim’s much better written content, here’s a list of my top five favorite television shows and a little description of why based on his rules:

You…

1. Watch every episode

2. Love reruns

3. Can name every actor who graced the screen

4. Have favorite episode(s)

5. Still enjoy even if it jumps the shark

6. Tell your friends to watch

7. Can identify when parts have been cut in reruns

8. Smile and/or laugh just thinking about the show

9. Wouldn’t mind a reunion

10. Find yourself quoting the show all the time

11. Feel the show would hold up through generations

And finally, that the series has come to an end.

With all of that in mind (which I think are a fine set of rules by the way), I’d have to go with:

Sex and the City

Not only have I watched every episode numerous times I own the super girlie, pink velvet boxed DVD set and still watch when it’s on regular TV, just because.  Quoting this show is like part of my personal lexicon, in fact at times I probably do it without even realizing.  There were so many perfectly timed moments, scenarios of friendship, love and sex in the modern day that entire urban phrases were created due to this show.  Ever call someone a Modelizer (a man who only dates models) or a Frenemy (so much a word that MSWord recognizes the spelling)?  Ever refer to the cheating curve?  Ever tell someone they’ve Susan Sharon’d something?  Curious where Bradley Cooper or Dean Winters got their start?  And oh yes you know Dean, he plays Mayhem in those trendy Allstate commercials now.  SATC streamlined so much of pop culture and made the bold move of showing the world just what women were capable of.  Even if they ‘lost their Choo!’ while doing it.  The one caveat here is that there was already a reunion of sorts, 2 movies have been made since the series ended.  I was so disappointed with shifting characters that were Hollywood-ized for big screen appeal in the first movie that I never saw the second and I pretty much pretend they were never even made.

Friends

This one is truly era/generational specific for GenX I think.  As this show aired I was moving into my own apartments and starting to realize what it was like to live and love on my own for the first time, just like the cast.  I discovered how much of a family my own friends really were.  I don’t have to tell my friends to watch though, most of them already own the box set and have all 10 seasons looped on constant rotation.  I’d just like to point out that no one told me life was gonna be this way…

Get Smart / Inspector Gadget (yes the cartoon, because these two are basically the same show)

Okay truthfully I can’t say for sure if I’ve ever seen every episode of Get Smart or if I could quote it on cue, but let me just say that during my nightly bouts with insomnia when I was a teenager I would stay up until 1:00 in the morning most nights just to catch the reruns on Boston channel 38 (I think, might have been 56).  The guy had a shoe phone.  Does it really get much cooler than that?  Also, 99 was really the brains behind the operation and I thought she was super crafty.  As far as Inspector Gadget goes it was essentially the cartoon version of Get Smart so what wasn’t to love?!  I was never really into cartoons but a bumbling fool who has a helicopter hat to get out of tough situations was too cool.  Plus Penny & Brain (the dog) actually solved the crimes (seeing a pattern here?).  I’m quite sure this is the reason I instantly fell in love with the character of Data when The Goonies came out in 1985.

Golden Girls

This is on the list because I’ve recently started watching reruns of this show again and I can’t believe for even an instant that any of my family would have let me watch it when it first came out.  Talk about racy!  Luckily I was only about 12 when it first aired and had no clue what they were talking about.  Of course that all changed as years went on and I loved all of their spunky attitudes and sharp tongues.  Those gals are who I aspire to be when I’m in my 60’s – smart, funny, out of control and still self-proclaimed sexy (okay so I aspire to be Blanche but will likely end up much more Dorothy).  Wait a second, 4 gals living in the same town, dating and generally waxing on about life and relationships?  Sensing a pattern here?  Plus there was Betty White.  And even after not watching it for decades I could still sing the entire theme song from memory.  What’s not to love?  I don’t quote it yet but I guarantee this will end up in the quote rolodex in the near future.

Lost

Conspiracy theories.  Unanswered questions.  More frustrating plot twists than characters on the show.  “Live together, die alone.”  “You’re gonna die , Charlie.”  “See ya in another life brotha.”  “Freckles.”  “The Others.”  Oh yeah, and there was that time when the Mega Millions was huge right after the end of the series’ run and Matt was picking up tickets.  I told him to play 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42 (yes I just typed that from memory, if you’re a Lostie you could too).  Apparently lots of people played those numbers.  And we all won a couple hundred bucks.  Hurley won 150 million playing them on the show but who’s complaining?  We got back our investment 150 times over.  The writing was smart and those bastards kept us guessing until the very end…and beyond.  And of course after my Vampire post you pretty much know how I felt about Boone.  Someone get me a drool bucket would ya?

The one show I didn’t include, and I’m sure many are surprised, is Moonlighting.  I loved that show.  No wait, I love, love, looooooovvvvvvved that show!  Right up until Maddie and David slept together.  In the 80’s no one knew how to write so that there was still tension after the sexual tension dissipated and the show went downhill fast.  But EVERYone was on that show, Whoopie Goldberg, Judd Nelson, Pierce Brosnan and of course, Mark Harmon (who they should have kept around as Maddie’s love interest longer, just sayin’).  I loved that they talked right into the camera, something I still enjoy to this day (brought to even greater heights with movies such as Ferris Bueller) and the rhyming scripts were classic.  But there’s no such thing as reruns and I pretty much wouldn’t watch the last season again so it wouldn’t have been fair to include this one.  It broke the rules.

So do you have favorites?  Shows that cross the great divide of generations and can still tug at you like they did when they were first aired?

Torn Down in the Name of Convenience*

It’s probably about time for me to pull High Fidelity out of the old DVD book.  It’s been a while and, lately, everything seems to be pointing me in the direction of Cusack.  Other than his brief, yet stellar, performance in Sixteen Candles, there was no character quite like Rob Gordon to take the edge off my own life.

Okay, fine, there was that somewhat mysterious, too dorky to realize he was cool, man of every girl’s dreams character, Lloyd Dobler.  But everyone knows that the deeper brooding and overtly-melancholy fucked-up-ness of Rob is way closer to real life.  Lloyd is the one we all want; sweet, devoted, teaches us to drive a stick-shift, supports us when our dad goes to prison, goes with us to London. 

But every woman knows that boom-box thing would never happen in real life.  Instead, he’d probably end up hating London because the cloudy and gloomy days would bring out his inner emo and he’d fly back to the states to ruminate over his failed relationship for the next decade.  In the end Lloyd will just end up owning a flailing record store, borrowing money from us that he’ll never pay back, and cheating.  Sorry but it’s a true fact that the girls looking for Lloyd pretty much universally end up with Rob.

But I digress…back to Cusack.

Another thing pulling me into Cusack-dom was this book I read yesterday “Stupid and Contagious” by Caprice Crane.  The main male character all but tells us that he’s Rob Gordon.  So of course that character was all I could picture through the entire book.  But, you know, with blue eyes. 

The book was phenomenal, recommended by a friend as she said the writing style was so similar to mine she almost thought she was reading my work.  I knew what my friend meant within about 10 pages.  I will definitely read every book Crane has written.  Especially if she has more characters like Rob.

And I almost completely forgot about The Raven coming out in just four short weeks.  I’d heard about this last year but didn’t know how I felt about it.  If I were making the ‘Rob’s Top Five Authors of All Time List’, Poe would pretty much be in the number one and number two spot.  I was convinced they’d take the most well-known of Poe’s poems and hack it to bits (haha, yeah, slight pun intended).  But they’re not.  Hacking it I mean.  The poem is the inspiration for the movie and I seriously can’t wait.

The movie is about a detective who joins up with Poe to solve a whole bunch of murders that someone is perpetuating based on his writing.  Not that I support serial killers or anything but seriously, how cool is that concept?  Only thing better than having a stalker when you write like Poe does is to have someone respect your work so much that they start living it.  That’s hardcore.  I may break my no theater and no horror (ish) rules for this one. 

Oh yeah, Cusack plays Poe.  Not the serial killer (or so we think, who knows right?).  Not a hitman, like some other characters he’s already played.  But he still gets to be all dark and broody.  Oh Cusack, it’s like you were born for this role.

Anyway, seems the world is pushing me to do some kind of list, top five or something, so I’m doing this Sunday Stealing meme.  While I wait for my book’s copyright registration to come through I may just have to have a Cusack movie marathon later this week because I'm clearly running out of interesting blog posts... 

1. Which TV character do you think you are most like?

Other than the baby thing Christina Applegate’s character on “Up All Night” springs to mind.  Otherwise I’ll go with Miranda.  Also sans baby.

2. What time do you go to bed?

At exactly 11:07 every night.  If I stay up until 11:08 I know the world will cave in and the locusts will come.

3. What was the last meal you made from scratch?

AH HAHAHAHAHA!!!!  Oh wait, you’re serious about that question?  Does throw-everything-into-a-crockpot-and-pray count as “from scratch”?

4. What is your favorite type of music?

Obviously I should be saying something about outer limit progressive hipster shit that no one has ever heard of (including the hipsters, seriously) but I don’t drink enough Starbucks to be that cool.  Plus I don’t have the effort to keep up my work out routine enough to get into black skinny jeans.  So I’ll just go with pop.  Just like Rob, who was a progressive hipster.  Maybe.  Makes me feel like I'm in good company or something.

“What came first, the music or the misery? People worry about kids playing with guns, or watching violent videos, that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands, literally thousands of songs about heartbreak, rejection, pain, misery and loss. Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?”

- Rob Gordon

5. In what position do you sleep?

I’ll go with lying down like most of the other humans I know.

6. What is your first memory?

I forget.

7. What is your least favorite smell?

Top 5 all-time least favorite smells: skunk, puke, horse poop, wet dog, and cat pee.

8. Its your round at the pub and your friends asked you to surprise them. What drink would you buy and why?

Beer.  Because I’m cheap and boring.  And we’re in a pub for god sake.  What do you want, a fucking mojito?

9. What was the last thing you read/watched that made you cry?

America’s Next Top Model.  Every time they send a girl home for being beautiful and skinny but just not "modely" enough I feel so sad for her…

10. They say that you learn something new every day. What was the last thing you have learned?

That my husband had no idea how they changed from ice to parquet and back to ice at The Garden.

11. Which Literary love interests would you snog, marry and avoid.

Seriously no opinion on this, never even thought about it before.  But now I will.  And I'll get back to you.  Maybe.

12. What is your oldest memory?

See #6

13. Paperback, Hardback or Kindle? Which of these is your favorite reading format and why?

Books.  Real ones.  I can’t bring myself to use a tablet.  I even downloaded Kindle to my phone and I’ve made it through about 10 pages of a book I’m actually enjoying.  I also added it to my library queue.  There is something Zen and gratifying to flip actual pages even if its heavier to carry.  Technology is not always the better choice for me.

14. If you could bring back any canceled TV series for another run what would you pick and why?

“Family Ties”, I think there was just so much more they could have done with Skippy.

Sunday Stealing provided the questions.  As a side note I deleted #15 because it was word for word the same question as #13.

A meme really is an excellent choice for those “feeling basic”. 

*“Pointes” to you if you got the reference in the title.