Improving My Station

‘A picture of something you wish you were better at’ is the photo that the challenge requests today. Oh man, they have no clue what they’re asking. You do not pose this question to a self diagnosed bipolar perfectionist with OCD. You just don’t. Not unless you want a really long drawn out diatribe about all the many things they need to improve.

Wishing I was better at just about everything hasn’t been going on forever, probably just the past 4 handfuls of time, but that doesn’t make it any less ingrained now. So I’m going to try my best to reign it in to just a small list. In fact, just one thing in particular -- even though I could say letting go, dealing with stress, cleaning my house, keeping fresh art in my online shop, editing my last manuscript, coming up with a title for my last manuscript, saving money, quitting smoking (again), eating healthier, working out more, etc -- I’m simply going to make them all mesh into one.

The one thing I really, truly wish I was better at (as long as I’m being honest here) is time management.

I’ll write up a blog post and suddenly it’s close to 9:30, well, if I got up on time of course. By the time I’m done reading email and responding to all that stuff I’ve been fortunate enough to be invited to, asked about, etc I see the clock creeping up on 10:30. Next it’s off to organize the day for school work and leave comments in the discussion forum so I can get my full credit; by then we’re looking at lunchtime. If I’m smart I stop myself and go eat. Most days I’m not so smart.

So then I start reading or writing depending on the day and assignment. Eventually my body tells me it will pass out if I don’t put some nutrition in it because as awesome as words are, they don’t really satisfy. This means I’m way too hungry to make anything super healthy most days so I toast up an English muffin with peanut butter and cheese because it only takes 10 minutes and is packed with protein for my evening workout burn.

I sit and eat in about 7 minutes and get back to the order of school. By the time I wrap up I realize I still haven’t showered and I hop in at about 5:00. Out with hair dried by 5:30 and I’m ready to start dinner as I text Matt to say 1) No, I’m not in the mood to work out tonight so he’s solo if he wants to go and 2) I’m pretty hungry so what would he like me to order out for him.

Getting the return text I head out front to have a cigarette, because now that the sun is setting the clouds have finally broken, so I “enjoy” the 2.36 minutes of sunshine while the wind whips at me at 35mph. Yes as you could probably surmise those are air quotes.

So its time to do stuff around here like vacuum, dust, move stuff out of the middle of the floor, put dishes into/run the dishwasher and spray the air because a potential renter is coming to see the place and we want to fool them into thinking that not only is it huge but it is the best apartment on the flipping planet and they must rent it. By the time I’m done with all that Matt has made it home, my stomach is chewing itself out of my body and we’re checking to see if we’re going cash or credit on our take out.

My brain has turned to mush as I longingly glance at all the half started paintings, projects, faux samples and printed stories to edit that sit patiently waiting for me in a pile in the office.

Yeah get in line, that stack of mail and filing being ignored has been around a lot longer than you have.

I wrap up posting/reposting a bunch of stuff on craigslist so we can get rid of stuff before the move and shut down my laptop.

I eat dinner and have a beer and flick on some mindless television or scream at a hockey game because my brain actually feels like its swimming with all the stuff I didn’t do yet, all the stuff I did get done in order to ensure my 4.0 and all the stuff I need to do tomorrow (READ: will write in my day planner and put little x’s beside the following morning [as usual] when I don’t actually get them done because I’m too busy doing other stuff like 25 loads of laundry, researching what stuff is listed for online so I can price mine accordingly, taking pictures of all the crap we have to sell, or trying to figure out how to comment on someone’s work when they didn’t actually answer the questions in the assignment).

I need a fucking Assistant. A life assistant. That’s what I’m going to wish for here.

The original of this photo was found here on Flickr because I frankly just didn’t have the time to sit and wait for the clock to change to take one myself.

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Catch up on anything you missed  30 Photos, 30 Days
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A Big Fat Slacker! Where Blog Posting is Concerned...

If you follow both this page as well as my company blog you're going to see the exact same post in both places today. I'd apologize for that but I'm far too busy to let it bother me. 

Work has been great lately, I've been painting and meeting with some folks in an effort to kick start a little business again. I love the networking, love my company and my job. I only wish it didn't take so darn long to work it because by the time people are ready to hire me, Matt and I will be moving!

(hint, hint -- get me now before we're gone)

That's another thing though, the move. We are intending to take almost nothing with us because after years of living like we're still in college (in our mid/late 30's) we're both ready to finally upgrade our furniture on the other side. Of course that means we're selling it all and with me being the at home spouse right now, the picture taking, description writing and listing location decision making falls on me. No biggie its just that its a lot of work to research all that stuff and list it!

It will be nice to have a few extra bucks in our pocket to make the journey with though.  I've learned never to take for granted the free time I have (whatever that means) because I am truly blessed to be able to pursue the things I want to accomplish in life.

Which brings me to school. My University is awesome and they've scheduled me for a 2 week break in order to move. The really cool thing is that a class ends the very day we plan to leave so the schedule barely even has to shift.  Score!

So anyway, with school, work, pimpin' business and general life living, my blogs have really fallen by the wayside. I don't intend to give them up though (never!) so I hope you'll stick around for the times when I do post. And I promise to comment soon, I try to still read all of yours even if I simply lurk around the blogosphere in the background saying nothing.

Yes, I painted the picture above, it is my latest work. 
Yes you can own it if you like it. 
Yes I've been spending a lot more time painting smaller works and murals lately than full walls but that's cool, it still leaves me with tinted glaze under my fingernails at night and I love it!

Tired Worn Out and Exhausted Never Felt So Good

Life. Sometimes it’s a motherfucker huh? Yeah sorry, I know it’s a little early on a Saturday for a lot of you to read that kind of language so my advice is to come back later and finish up. I really can’t promise it won’t get worse from here.

This isn’t going to be a ‘bitching about everything going on in my life’ post though, on the contrary, I’m kind of in the best mood that I’ve been in a very long time. It’s more about irony. And why, while I love the concept of it, the reality sucks when it happens.

Huh. That kind of defines irony I guess, doesn’t it? How ironic.

I feel like one thing gets under control, hell in my case it’s about four, and life is going great but then BLAM!!, I get hit upside the head with the proverbial curve ball that promptly throws something else out of whack.

So what’s actually under control right now you may ask?

Matt and I started working out about 2 weeks ago doing the very popular at home program P90X. Talk about intense, with six days on and only one day off to rest and stretch my body has been beat to shit. And then after you’re beaten and bloody lying in the middle of your yoga mat, Tony whips you some more and asks you to love it. But I do love it. In fact its starting to get to the place where I can’t wait for Matt to get home at night so we can get to our workout because even though it kills me, by the end of the hour I feel lighter both physically and mentally. Clarity is my new best friend.

The manuscript I started for NaNoWriMo last year is, to my satisfaction, 100% finished now. After a whole slew of editing and help from various people reading it and giving me feedback, I am confident that it is now complete and ready to be published. This isn’t trivial to me so I do feel a little guilty plunking it in the middle of this post, like all it deserves for acknowledgement is a teeny paragraph and no fanfare. I know it is a huge accomplishment to have even written the 230 pages. (That’s why I’m starting it all over again in 23 days. I guess it’s just my career so I don’t necessarily feel like I deserve a big medal or anything; Matt doesn’t get a parade when he finishes a file.)

My brainstorm notebook has been filling up with all kinds of interesting stuff lately, and while I do have a few blurbs for writing the next novel, my inspirations lately have revolved around stuff to sew. This is good because with the FUMC Craft Fair on Saturday November 13 in Melrose, I need as much as I can get! I’ve pretty much abandoned handbags in favor of fun wall art, holiday ornaments and home décor (like pillows & placemats). Of course the threads to make all this loot are still coming out of my reclaimed stash so I’ll still feel all eco.

Yeah that’s about where it ends for feeling reigned in. Okay so maybe its just three things that are really under control. But in getting this stuff together, a lot of other stuff has seemed to go askew.

Working out is wonderful and I’m sure after a couple months of hard core exercise my body is going to begin to adapt but both of us falling asleep on the sofa at like ten o’clock every night (or earlier) doesn’t do much for the sex life. Yeah, that’s all I’m gonna say about that. In addition it means less time out with family or friends because I’m not going out for a pizza anymore and on a Friday night when I should be out laughing it up, I have to prioritize my workout first which leaves a very teeny window before that 10:00 cut off for tiredness.

Writing and editing a full length Chick Lit novel is great and all but so many other venues got shut down in the process. I’m certainly slack on blogging and reading other’s blogs which definitely pisses me off, especially with my long time bloggy friends. And I do consider those people my friends so there’s a nagging annoyance there. Plus I kind of miss writing my other blog. Sometimes.

Preparing to sell my wares in a public forum always causes my energy to have to shift from something else. In this case it has been practicing drums. I sit at my desk and stare at them feeling like time just slips away before I even have a minute to sit and make music. Paying my instructor to teach me the same shit over and over again is a waste of my money and his time. Period.

I do miss keeping up with my friends and family but I guess that’s what Facebook is for now. We can quickly peek into each other’s lives instead of spending hours on the phone or shoving greasy, expensive food down our throat at some restaurant right? And with writing I guess I just don’t care if I keep GLR going forever. It’s just a blog and frankly I’d rather throw my attention on this one. This one is so much more ‘me’. And the fair? The fair is temporary so I know that the drums will once again ring out in short order.

So what can I do? I guess the short answer is I have no freaking clue. Really, I don’t. I know it might sound weird but even though I’m having all of this stuff fall off the back end of life, the things that have taken over are more exciting and dynamic to me than any of that other stuff that seems to be slacking off.

Except the sex. Yeah. I guess it’s just a good thing that I enjoy snuggling too.

It’s All in My Head

For the past few weeks I have been working on a multitude of sample boards and small furniture pieces as a way to kick start my faux finishing business again. Some of the samples are redo’s of past examples that just fell short, while others are brand new and shiny examples of some of the work I can do. I have been devouring shows on HGTV for inspiration and spending a lot of time reading through posts on the faux message boards I belong to.

One might think this has prompted me to be armed and ready to get out there and tackle the world. My business cards are printed, company bio sheets are ready and in full color, the website and Facebook image galleries are updated and I even have some fantastic ideas of who to hit up for business so, truthfully, I should feel empowered.

But I don’t. All I seem to let myself feel lately is that someone knows I’m not as good as the other finishers and that they will quickly discover I am a fraud.

Yes I am fully aware that this fear is partially irrational but bear with me.

For a long time, longer than I can even pinpoint, I’ve been running around saying I want to be a writer. I want to write books. I want to write for a living. That is great because last November I took advantage of the downtime in the painting industry to do just that for the very first time. And it came out awesome. I mean awesome for a rough first draft. Put it this way, I love my characters to death. (And I'm not sure at this moment if that is pun intended or not.)

Now that I have actually written my first book, however, all I have managed to do with it is a first round of edits (on no more than the first half) and then shoved it into a corner somewhere to collect dust while I go and paint for a living.

You get that? Paint for a living, not write.

If it ever gets finished I know this book will be published, I know it will be purchased because I truly believe that the world I have created and the people who live inside it are just real enough to be relatable but just fantastical enough that real people will want to escape their daily life to visit their alternate realm.

But their world is barely constructed and I’m already trying to paint it.

Inside my head my characters are wandering around trapped inside this box and they keep looking for the door but I have gone and applied a faux finish to every corner of it, so it seems they will never find their way to escape. While I went off and made a paycheck, I boxed them inside the inescapable world and now even I can’t seem to find the door back in.

Is this what (hooker/waitress/) actors feel like? They want to act so badly that they promptly push away the grand opportunity that comes their way in order to go and get paid to set plates down in front of hungry directors so they don’t get thrown out of their apartment?

So now I have this fierce battle raging inside me because I know that all my irrational fears that I’m not a good finisher are total and complete crap. I know I am creative and have come up with a whole slew of interesting and funky treatments over the past few weeks that will be a no brainer to install not to mention fun. So here is the real thing I’m afraid of.

If I pursue a career as a decorative artist, strive to make Chucka Stone Designs all that it can be and start taking on clients all over greater Boston, I am afraid that I will somehow sabotage my own success by claiming it “isn’t what I really want to do” and promptly start whining that I really just want to be a writer again. That’s usually when I crawl back inside my own shell and have a pity party for myself that I never let anyone else become privy to. Instead I talk about how I’m ‘getting stuff together” and how I’m “almost ready” to get out there and work it. I lie to the world knowingly but I’m no longer convincing myself that it’s the truth.

So herein lies the real toughie for me. Why can’t I simply do both -- write and faux?

Easier to ask that question than answer it. Well for me at least. The logical answer is that there is no reason not to. Faux all day, come home at night and edit slowly but surely; maybe even work on the book on the weekends. It isn’t like I have a publishing house banging down my door for this manuscript (yet), screaming that they gave me this advance and now I’m over deadline or something. Nope, it’s just me and my red pen, so timing really isn’t at all of the essence.

So what the fuck is my problem?

The short answer? Me. I am my problem; my own worst enemy most of the time.

I’ll sit here taking days to craft this blog post perfectly, and I do love blogging don’t get me wrong but as soon as it is posted the normal person would grab the 190 pieces of white paper, a red pen and their imagination and go edit for the entire day. Not me though, I am bound to notice one tiny little thing that needs to be fixed on my website to make it perfect, the fact that I never added that other picture to some specific photo album, that I only have 20 business cards in my wallet so those should get printed, that I should really practice drums, that I never did update the proposal form, that I’m running low on something, that I really should write 3-4 GLR posts to front load the week, that I’m hungry, or a multitude of other distractions which will ensure I look at the clock at 3:00 and utter the words ‘wow, can’t believe the day is almost over and I’ve done nothing’.

As is plain to see, I also never got out to visit any Interior Designers, Contractors, Architects, Real Estate Agents, Decorators or other industry pros in this scenario either. So instead of even going to make a paycheck from my decorative work as at least a lucrative distraction, I sit here, doing nothing.

Sure I know it isn’t really “nothing” per se. All those things do indeed get done, but I know deep down that my need to have Perfection in my life has taken over again and that bitch is costing me dearly.

I need to figure out how to trick Perfection to get onto the box, then while I distract it with discussing the cost of the beautiful decorative treatment on the walls (ceiling, floor, furniture pieces…) that they will be paying me for I can liberate my characters from being held hostage by Perfection (for what feels like it has been forever). Use Perfection to provide the financing for Ripple the Twine.

Does that seem like an unreachable goal? Honestly, sometimes it does to me. But others likely just see it as good common sense.

So what am I going to do today? That is of course the real question begging to be answered.

Week(s) In Review: A Pictorial Adventure

So where have I been, yes that would be the question considering that, unless we’re connected on Facebook, no one has heard from me in weeks. I don’t call, don’t write. Yeah, ‘dropped off the face of the virtual Earth’ (yet again) is pretty accurate. But I have done some amazing and fun stuff in my electronic absence.

And the train continues to roll so rather than sit here for ages typing out all the details of my recent misadventures in construction, paint, music, old friends and pastry, it occurred to me that a nice array of photos is surely a much lazier way to share the information.

And retain it for that matter. See? Really I’m just thinking of your time. Yeah, that's it.

So without further random babble from me, here is essentially a month in review…

A whole bunch of these got painted, glazed, varnished, etc. over the past couple weeks for Chucka Stone Designs, and more will be done this week (plus I might actually finish the furniture pieces this weekend, amazing!)

I hosted a week long giveaway over here that I enjoyed promoting.

This holiday came and went & Matt and I thankfully didn’t feel pressured to celebrate (because it is a silly tradition started just to make people feel bad who are single and obligated who are together so the card, chocolate, flower and jewelry industries can live on for one more day. OK. Jumping off my soapbox now…) But my mom sent us this card and it was very sweet of her!

The FINAL season (sob) of Tuesday night crack began. (Yeah I know he’s not on the show anymore but he was my favorite character and he did make an appearance in the first episode this season. Plus he’s hot, so there.)

We had a chance to catch this guy’s act live, and solo for the first time, which was so much fun! We were right at the edge of the stage in the Red Room at Café 939.

Then I started doing a whole bunch of this. (Thanks for the video still shots This Old House)

Of course that job is in central Mass so that meant I was in this a lot. Don’t worry, my car wasn’t recalled. Baby drives great.

Even though painting and plaster is a great workout it was good to do a little of this in addition to keep loose. Climbing ladders requires a certain level of already in shape-ness so as not to fall asleep on the sofa every night at 10:00. Oh wait…

I have been helping to clean out the family house which desperately needs to be finished and sold. My Aunt, mom and I spent six hours in this room getting it to look this empty. I wish I were kidding. But it is done now and so we celebrated with subs (hoagies, wraps, whatever you call it in your neck of the woods -- sandwich filling in a long roll). I took this round table home and it is now gracing my back hall under the window; it looks perfect with the bench on the other side, since they are a matching set.

Of course Thursdays have still been all about this. Wouldn’t miss that for anything!

Had a chance to catch one of my mom’s favorite performers, Seth Glier (on piano), this past Friday night. I can see why, wow this kid has talent!! At only 21, he has a long career ahead of him. (He plays SXSW every year so if you’re near Austin, TX go check him out!). Plus he remembered my mom on sight by name, asked her later what she wanted to hear and made a point to come over and apologize that he didn’t have time to play it after the show was over. Now that’s class.

And now this morning I’m finishing coffee and writing. Not to mention eating one of these; purchased after dinner with friends in Davis Square last night. Yum!

The month in review has now commenced. Holy crap, can’t believe it’s just about March already! Bring on the warm weather, yippie!

Broken Thoughts, by Random Lunacy

I went to open a new checking account for my business because the bank I am currently with decided that instead of giving a high five to their loyal customers, they started hitting small business accounts with mondo fees.

Um, did they not get that small business part??? Can little fishies like me really afford to have my money either held hostage or unceremoniously taken away? I believe the answer you’re looking for would be a clear, ‘oh hell no’!

So, the local bank in the next town over charges nothing for small business checking and I decided to move my money on over so it is no longer held up at fee-point.

When I opened up my EIN document to print it this morning, I realized that Chucka Stone Designs just celebrated her second birthday three days ago. Yea!!

I totally love my job and I love my company and fully intend to keep this little fish swimming in the big old ocean for as long as possible, dodging sharks and finding super secret awesomeness around the corners of patches of coral reefs.

Speaking of awesomeness…

Today I started drum lessons, a promise I made myself last year. Well I might be a little late to the party, finally learning, at age 36, the instrument I have wanted to play since I was a kid, but as far as I’m concerned it’s never too late. My instructor Gil Graham, is so cool.

I found him in a most destined way too; thanks Universe! My mom was selling her lovely photo inspired art at an open studio fair in my old (and now defunct) Junior High School so Matt and I went to check it out. The show was on all four levels of the building as there are artist studios everywhere. We came in through the basement door as it seemed a logical place to start.

As we were walking by a completely unassuming room with an open door I pointed out where the cafeteria line used to form across the hall. Next thing I knew there were some slow drum beats coming from that door and there was a sign reading “Come On In!”. As if I could resist. We listened to the kid play for a few, shook hands with Gil and promised to be back near the end of the day to chat after seeing my mom.

The end of the day proved to be well over an hour while, for free, Gil started breaking down my skill and experience level as he let me play a few hundred beats. I was amazed with what I already knew like how to hold the sticks and limb independence (thanks Rock Band, seriously) and Gil was amazed at not only those things too but also that I was able to keep consistent time.

I think we both got a little giddy at the prospect of entering into a kick ass teacher student relationship and I signed up on the spot. Today was great as I worked toward greater independence and lengthier beat combos. The coolest thing was he told me as I was leaving that we just went through about 3 lessons in that one lesson time slot, that I sound great and am picking it up really quickly. Woo hoo! It still feels weird but I guess that is like anything new right?

I had a chance to interview Adam Sankowski from local band The Grownup Noise again about their veggie oil conversion van that they have used to tour the country for two consecutive summers now. He is such a great guy and always a fun interview. Plus I love discovering new music, especially when it is really, really good.

And they are really, really good.

If you are in the area and can stay up past your bedtime this Saturday night I highly recommend hooking up with me and Matt at their show at TT the Bear’s in Central Square Cambridge.

OK that’s about all I have steam for today so go read everyone else’s stuff now. How about if I say please?
KC, Ginger, Kate, Bridgete and Bree

BTW…thanks for the picture SuperStock!

It’s on like Ping Pong

All our boxes are packed…we’re ready to go.
We’re running quickly out the door.
It can’t come quick enough…
I say…GOODBYE!

Within the next few hours the cavalcade of moving joy begins. Right now feels like that calm before the storm where we are up and drinking coffee, tripping over filled boxes everywhere but not acknowledging that there is anything going on just yet. The wind is just starting to pick up a little bit.

Matt and I have moved so many times it is almost not even worth mentioning anymore but I feel compelled to get excited about this one because we both feel really good about this move. This is the first time in almost seven years we are moving to a place for no other reason than we wanted to.

When we first got together I was living in a little studio apartment in Malden, Massachusetts and he was living in Columbus, Ohio in a similar sized place. If you haven’t read the story about how we met and all that squishy stuff you can do that now. I’ll wait.

Tap, tap, tap. Tap, tap, tap.

OK ready? Good. Now where was I? Oh right, Malden.

So once we decided to move in together the studio was not going to cut it and we found a place a few blocks away, also in Malden. It was the second floor of a typical Boston two family -- three bedrooms, one bath, eat in kitchen, hardwoods, single pane windows, no insulation and a boiler from 1850 -- it was huge and we were getting a super deal on rent because Matt knew someone who knew someone. Then they told us they were selling and all of this moving for other people and other reasons began.

We bought the fixer in June of 2002 and by April of 2003 we actually started to work on the place. Just before that was when they sold the house in Malden we crashed for a while with a family member until the house in Springfield was almost ready to be inhabited, but not quite. We went to a motel for ten days while we put up walls in the bathroom and bedroom. Enough that the cat could be safe and we could shower. We lived in Springfield for three years too long but neither of us ever wanted to live there. We just went with the flow of circumstances so when a job opportunity opened up in New York, we figured it was worth looking into.

I was dying to give Manhattan a go. I have always loved The City and could not wait to get there!

So of course we ended up living in my cousin’s basement on Long Island. For over a year. With no windows.

We made the best of it because New York is freaking expensive and we were still paying bills on the Springfield house and trying to sell it. But East Meadow was not where either of us wanted to live. One morning after a particularly heavy rain storm the basement flooded. We had been discussing possibly moving so we would not turn into moles but had not entirely planned on doing it just yet. The house next door belonged to the man my cousin had been seeing and he had just moved into her slightly larger home.

Off we went to his place that day. Like within an hour of the flood.

That house was actually one of the best places we have lived even though we didn’t see the move coming. A cute little 900 square foot, single family, two bedroom ranch with a nice big living room and a kitchen with a dishwasher. We had a couple friends on the Island who would come over and we would hang out on the back deck and drink beers and laugh all night. It was actually not too bad.

Then the housing market imploded.

Our friends had worked together (at a substantial sized mortgage company) and were out of work on the same day. With approximately 5,000 other people. Six or so other small to mid sized companies also went down and Matt too ended up having to find something. There were about 10,000 people all fighting for the same fifteen jobs on the Island and our friends hauled ass out of there and headed for Texas. Matt’s boss at his former company loved him to death and got him into her new place per-diem but we both knew he was on borrowed time.

So we put on our rose colored blindfold and moved back to Massachusetts.

There is a whole lot involved with this move and a very lengthy story surrounding it all, which I may tell at some point but today is not that day. Let’s just say there are three sides to everything and that we moved back here so Matt could pursue a career change, which instead turned out to be a life changing experience for both of us, and we encountered some major financial hardship due to the culmination of everything up to this point. Yes, I think that sums it up rather nicely.

When we first moved back we were crashing at the beach cottage in Humarock. The day I become a wealthy woman I will own a home on both coasts -- a hip loft in downtown San Diego and a home in Humarock. That place is one of the most amazing places on the planet for me, something magical happens when I cross the river; I feel at home. But living in a family house that is opened up every summer means, again, living on borrowed time so this was never meant to be something we could treasure; it was transitional at best. Bringing in 75% of the pay we were making in New York also meant we were limited in where we could even look, not to mention the fact that saving a couple dimes was next to impossible.

I had started Chucka Stone Designs as soon as we arrived and was beginning to roll along with a few great jobs through 2008. That spring the family house in Damascus, Maryland needed to be freshened to be put on the market and I was hired to do so. That job was the most physically exhausting I have ever faced but one of the most rewarding in so many ways. And I came home with our moving money.

We had settled for an apartment in Arlington that was excessively overpriced for the size, but it was Arlington. Now I should explain, as much as Humarock feels like home, I have about as strong feelings to the opposite about Arlington.

The funny thing about Boston is that even the crappiest of areas are overpriced so we figured, why not at least move to a safe town. And so we landed here.

I grew up here from age seven to about nineteen and frankly I am not a fan. There is nothing inherently wrong with this town it is just that I am one of those people who 1. knows when something feels right or wrong and 2. enjoys leaving my past in the past. Even as a kid I never felt like I fit in here. Moving back here caused my past to come running right up to me to punch me square in the kisser; I knew it felt wrong. But when we were looking there was not much of an option and after three years in Springfield I refused to live in another crime ridden location simply because we could afford it.

I have shared some of the hilarity about this building -- the smell of dead cabbage cat, neighbors who sunbathe in the parking lot in a thong, the rabid animals that live in the dumpster, the claustrophobia upon entry -- but I really must admit, despite all of the crap, our landlord has been wonderful and Matt and I went through very distinct, positive transformations here.

This time, there was no pressure to move (even though we were both interested in doing so eventually). No major life changes were occurring which were forcing our hand, neither of us figured we would be going anywhere for at least a couple years. Then one night out of the blue we heard about what will now be our new place.

It is only one town away but it feels like the other side of the Universe to me. With so many positive things going on in our lives right now this new place kind of feels like the culmination of dragging ourselves back up from a very, very dark place that we lived in for a very, very long time. We don’t own it, it is not all that much bigger and who knows what the neighbors will be like but something inside both of us is saying that this time we were actually waiting at the right platform when the right train was pulling in and finally we are headed in the right direction.

I haven’t even set up an appointment for internet access to be hooked up yet. For the first few days I simply plan to unpack, make curtains, explore our new neighborhood, sit in the side yard and read the Kerouac novel I just took out of the library, set up our place and enjoy the surroundings. I don’t know when I’ll get back online to read, write and connect, but even though there is a lot of heavy lifting to come over the next few days, I somehow feel like I will be more refreshed than ever once I get back.

♥love♥

Expressing Thanks

Some of you know that I hand make bags from upcycled or recycled fabrics as a hobby and that I have a shop on Etsy under my company name of Chucka Stone Designs where I sell these little goodies. Well about a week ago, Jackie over at Etsy Item of the Day got in touch with me and asked if she could feature this


as today’s featured item of the day. As if I was going to say no! The funny thing is that I have been contemplating marking all of my Etsy shop items at 50% off as a moving sale next week so I can possibly unload some merchandise before I have to pack it and take it to the new place. I would much rather take it to the post office and send it to a fine, yet different, home.

This morning I was suggesting, over on one of the thousand or so social networking sites I now belong to, that perhaps I should get a couple huge posters made up that look like this

to mark the sale’s occasion. I guess pimping out my glorious feature (and the fact that I am thinking of having the sale at all) right here on my blog is going to have to be enough. Never mind the fact that there is no time to print up these babies, I am pretty sure my current landlord would not be expressing her thanks for my hanging them all over the building.

One of the people I recently started following on twitter, @EnlightenYurDay, posts these little excellent quotes a few times a day. They come from philosophers, musicians, writers, Saints and (who some might call) sinners alike. I don’t know where they find them but they never cease to inspire me and make me smile or chuckle too. My very favorite from today is:

If the path be beautiful, let us not ask where it leads.
- Anatole France

This goes right back to being thankful today. I could ask Jackie how she found me, wonder why suddenly my long ago deserted Etsy shop is suddenly being noticed again or how I have been so lucky to make such magnificent connections but instead I will just say a big rock on to the Universe at large and bask in the accolades being vibed my way right now.

Easily Translates into Five Thousand Words

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. Instead of my usual incessant rambling, I’m going to let the photos do the talking for me today. Well, most of it anyway. OK, not much really but here it is anyway.


On June 8 my mom, her friend Eileen, Matt, and myself went down to Central Square to the bar All Asia to see a comedy show. The host and Comedienne of the evening was Janet Cormier, who my mom met because (as Mom pointed out just now) she was the leader of the Think Tank workshop at the Career Source. The show was great, we must have laughed our way through at least ten up and coming comedians. If you are in the area and want to check it out I think they are on the second Monday of every month and it was super inexpensive, just a $5 admission charge!

The Arlington Farmer’s Market opened on June 10th and although there was not too much yet there were some fantastic deals to be had! S got Hammer and Anvil bundled up in their best winter outfits (because this is late spring in New England people), she swung by to grab me and off we went! This is where I acquired the fifteen pounds of dill and yummy cacao nibs used on that fateful burnt sugar night.

I decided to pick up some last minute tickets to They Might Be Giants for Matt. Live music is never bad in my book so even though I had no familiarity with this band, he loves them so it seemed like the right thing to do. We had great seats, somewhere around the 10th row and the place was really tiny for a performance hall. These guys were awesome! What an incredibly fun band and come to find out they are originally from Massachusetts so it was like a big reunion show with their family in the audience too. They performed their album Flood in consecutive order, tossed in a few warm up songs and did two encores. I had only ever heard one song before that night but would definitely see them again. It was the perfect way to end the day after a fantastic time at a friend’s fortieth birthday party!

We helped my dad and Wicked Stepmother move this past Sunday and after literally half of a day of lugging boxes, emptying the water bed, sweeping water away from the house so it would stop seeping into the basement and driving back and forth to the mid-western part of the state to unload and unpack I was so physically worn out yesterday that I wanted to do nothing more than lie around and relax all day. I managed to do just that for a better part of the day but a good friend of mine, John, called to let me know he was in town for just a couple days from Florida so we had to do lunch.

My goal for today consists of nothing more than finding this product. During my down time yesterday I checked around locally and could not find it here in Arlington so today I must branch out to track it down. I need this lovely little item to complete the kitchen reorganization project I am working on right now so this, or the equivalent in a different brand, will need to magically appear today so I can heroically finish up tomorrow.

Talk about your whirlwind! So much to do, so little time.

Maybe this upcoming weekend will be a bit calmer? Nah, I doubt it

Broken Thought Process Thursday

Yup, it’s Friday. Hey, it’s my theme I do what I want!

There is a fine line between determination and insanity. Albert Einstein once defined insanity as doing the same thing over and over again hoping to get different results; or something close to that. He was clearly onto something there. I wish he were alive and well, it would be nice to ask him to move on over here next door to one of my neighbors and share that pearl of wisdom because although they might not be insane just yet, they are quickly driving me there. Come to think of it, they are not driving much of anywhere.

For the past two weeks, every day, at multiple and various times throughout the twenty four hour period, my neighbor has gone out to their car and tried to start it. The car makes that cheg-cheg-cheg-cheg-cheg sound as if it is about to start but it never turns over. I almost feel bad for them, they must imagine that the car fairy comes at night and sprinkles magic motor oil all over the hood in a blessing for their success the next day. What would be the explanation for trying it every morning otherwise? Now, I am certainly no genius like Albie but it sounds to me like perhaps it is time to call a tow truck and go have a starter put in. I don’t know though, just a thought.

Hearing this occur every morning makes me want to quote the movie Mallrats:

“That kid, is back on the escalator again!”

OK well I am going to go take a nine hour break from typing so I can get out to my kitchen reorganization job out in Ayer. Today we are working on the two kitchen junk drawers and the “it used to be a broom closet but is now the toss it in there and hope it doesn’t fall out when the door gets opened” closet. Can not wait to get before and after shots of this job for all of you to check out. Its so liberating to toss stuff and get it into a more organized manner. Well at least for me, I hope it feels the same for the client!

Back now. Hope everyone had a fantastic Friday!

Yup, definitely all about pizza for dinner tonight. So now I have to decide if we are going to make the trek out to Revere beach to get our favorite from Bianchi’s or if we should just stick close to home and do a margharita from Nicola. Ooh choices are so fun, especially when it comes to good pizza.

Oh my, I am pretty sure that was just a really booming rumble of thunder. Perhaps we will stick close to home and forego the beach tonight after all. Decision made.

I don’t know if any of you are Lost fans but we started renting all of the episodes again from season 1 on and let me tell you, I have even more questions now than before going back to re-watch them! There was a whole lot of information, situations, circumstances or subtle nuances that I completely forgot all about. Plus some characters they got rid of that really bummed me out to see them go. We have three left until the end of the season, it is pretty likely that will be tonight’s activity of choice unless I can convince Matt to play a little Rock Band of course.

Speaking of, I think it is time to go tap the pads for a few before Matt gets home. This is about as broken a thought process blog as possible. I like this theme, think I’ll keep it up. Hope everyone enjoys their night!

Out of Sight Out of Mind

My apartment is only about 600 or so square feet so it has become an art form trying to keep the “stuff” in it to the bare minimum of essentials, not to mention locating the perfect place to store what does come into this space. There are five rooms including the bathroom and although I would ideally love about another 200 square feet, this size is actually not too bad most of the time. It only bothers me when the chaos in my house starts sinking into my mind and I want to throw everything away. Like today for example.

I am a person who likes things to be clean and orderly; there is a place for everything -- after I am done using something it lives in its home until the next time I need it. Right now I am busy working on top coating all the parts and pieces of the behemoth entertainment center Matt built out of free pallet wood and scrap plywood (in fact we only spent about $70 on this entire thing including hinges, hardware, paint & lumber). The thing is massive but everything is flat and the doors and shelves come off so one might think it would be quick to paint; one would be wrong.

Here is the piece in its finished state prior to Matt attaching the doors. This is before it came home to meet my mini roller and paint tray.


Top section will hold speakers on either of the ends, whatever in the 2 middle sections. Middle section -- random knick knack stuff in the small left side shelves, TV in the largest opening, components on the right. Bottom section will have slide out shelves and is meant to house media (all our cd’s and dvd’s are in books for maximizing storage space but since we still live in the dark ages we do still own a bunch of video tapes too). I assure you, something gets lost in the translation because this thing is huge. By huge I mean taller than me; let’s just say I will not be the one dusting the top of this sucker once it’s installed.

So Matt took it apart and he and B moved it out of their basement and into our very small apartment about a week ago. It needed a bit of wood fill on screw holes and general imperfections (on the pallet wood especially) then I sanded it down and was ready to paint.

Since the top piece is so convoluted with shelves and spaces, it made its way up onto risers so I would have more space to work around it. Unfortunately the height of the permanently installed shelves is pretty short and sadly there was just no way to get a roller into some of them so most days I have had an arm full of paint from using the brush.

Because I did not want to do 400 coats of the dark chocolate brown color we chose, I went with a deep grey primer and sealer. Free advice people, anything really dark (reds, purples, navy blue, forest green, etc.) is so much easier to paint final coats when using grey primer as opposed to white. And generally speaking the shelf grey is cheaper than a tinted primer too. But I digress…

Painting the doors and shelves was an interesting challenge because my third drop is somewhere at my Dad’s house so I had to improvise by strategically placing them on elevated surfaces all over the house, like the side of a chair or my tool caddy. Luckily there are only six doors and two shelves because this is substantially adding to the messy feeling everywhere.

Insert my hysterical cackling. Paint fumes could have something to do with this of course. Good thing it is water based paint and varnish or we would really be in trouble.

Watch in awe as the vein on the side of my head simply pops next time I trip over a brown door as I try to get into a room other than the living room!

So now I am waiting for the top coat to dry so Matt can attach the hardware tonight, flip this enormous piece so I can do the underside (it will be visible when the lower section doors are open) and then secure the pieces together before placing this baby where it belongs, thus allowing for a vacuum to roam freely throughout this house again. I can not wait to breathe clean air.

Silver lining? The house will feel huge after this is installed.

I Am Thanks Full For…

The order is how they all entered my brain but nothing on this list is really any more important than another item (except maybe food lol). Consider this the condensed version. Enjoy a day full of food, love, football and festive thanks everybody!

Health
Happiness
Love
Smiles
Laughter
Ocean
Sunshine
Rain
Plants
Flowers
Matt
Family
Friends
Connections
Food
Amazing conversations
Quiet days
Fun nights
Red wine
Food
Did I mention food?
Football
Fun
Music
A pen and paper
Fabric
Obama
Nephews
All five of my senses
My sixth sense too
Road trips
Wendy
Being employed
Being unemployed
Making new friends
Chucka Stone Designs
Rock Band
Positivity
Air
Memories
Pictures
My mind
The Dictionary
Baseball
Coffee (I have no idea how this was not first lol)
Late night lovin’
Scrabble
Ingenuity
Perseverance

Beyond Cool

Wowsa, yesterday was great! I chatted with so many different people, handed out tons of cards, discussed the importance of using upcycled material in my designs, saw some family and friends and even sold a few items which had me not only reaching where I wanted to be but exceeding the goals I had set out for the day. WOO HOO!

My Mom did this fair last year and convinced me to give it a go because there was fairly decent traffic and a nice mix of buyers and sellers. She was not wrong! We were lucky enough to request tables right next to each other which was great so we could man each other’s booth when one of us had a need to venture out. Here are the original set ups; we both adjusted placement of materials as the day went on and after doing so both of us got more sales. Coincidence?

I promised to keep everyone updated on the progress of the entertainment center construction as well and Matt certainly got his pallet on yesterday! He located a coffee house in Brighton who was advertising on craigslist that free pallets were available behind the store for anyone to come and snag anytime they like. Some of the reasons he went with that particular one were because he figured they would be sturdy pallets due to the weight they would have to bear as well as a lack of leaked material on the wood which could mean mold or just yucky smells. Other than the aromatic smell of coffee, which if you know us at all is not exactly something we consider a detriment, the wood was mold and smell free.

He was able to acquire a good number of pallets that could be broken down on site (not always possible) and where he did not have to take everything just to get a few good ones (something many places actually required). When I arrived home yesterday he was out on the balcony removing nails and pieces from each other with a bunch of tools.

It took him a good five or six hours to complete everything yesterday from driving over there to completing disassembly but at the end of the day he had a nice stack of lumber drying on the balcony, ready to be planed down.

Since we are attempting to construct this unit completely for free (meaning we do not want to spend any money we have earned from jobs to pay for necessary material needed for construction like hardware, screws, biscuits, glue, paint, etc), as well as reduce the clutter in our apartment, I knew it was time to sell a few more items on craigslist as well. Friday afternoon I posted our old dehumidifier that we still had hanging around from the days of owning a house with a wet-ish basement.

Up until Friday we had been using it as a stand for our bedroom fan; not really operating in the way it should be (plus Matt can just build us a new stand out of pallets right?). Well while he was deconstructing on the balcony, I was in our living room meeting up with a guy who saw the ad on craigslist and came to buy it. Cha-ching. Fifty dollars immediately went into the entertainment center fund and someone who needed it would be putting the dehumidifier to use in its correct function! That will surely acquire a goodly portion, if not all, of the necessary materials we need to finish this baby up.

Matt just wrote up a little something on his pallet retrieval experiences; those who are inclined can read it here.

Based on his calculations we are currently at +$49.18. Yippie!

A Haphazard Mish-Mosh of Arbitrary Madness

That, or “this is going to be a whole bunch of random stuff that has nothing in common other than it is all what is going on in my world right now which is sometimes inconsequential but always all over the place”. Guess that title would be a little too long so I’m happy with the one I went with instead. So then let’s get on with the jumbled mess I call my daily world.

First and foremost this is the last time I’ll be pimping to get as many people as possible out to the FUMC Craft Fair in Melrose tomorrow. 645 Main St 9:00 - 1:00.

All my bags


Are packed

I’m ready to go!

Now that the sales will commence and the production of all those upcycled fabrics lessens, we can finally get our house back together. It is going to seem like we have so much space in our teeny apartment and the quilt-like layer of tiny threads all over the carpet will succumb to the vacuum on Sunday during football. Yee-haw!

Recently Charmaine posted a link to a really fun site where I spent some time “yearbooking” myself into a bunch of different time periods. It made me chuckle to see myself in these different eras but what was really funny is that the 1990 photo is scarily too close to my actual yearbook picture from 1991.

How much hairspray would this take?

I always wondered what I would look like with an afro.

To bang or not to bang?

See what I mean? Talk about hairspray, ugh.

Tomorrow Matt is going to hit the road and start acquiring a trunk load of pallets so we can start construction on our entertainment center. It is going to be a whole lot of fun to watch this thing come together. Nothing like acquiring material for free to create an enormous piece of furniture. I am definitely keeping my fingers crossed that it comes out nice because he already has plans to build a bunch of other functional furniture pieces using this free stock of lumber. That should keep him out of trouble for the entire winter and then he and B can bond over manly things like sawdust and planers while S and I bond over shaking our heads at the guys but enjoying the fruits of their labor.

Stand in Awe

As inspired by taking part in some really fantastic comment discussions recently on subjects ranging from pastry to politics, how these things relate to superheroes and the fact that everything old is new again.

When I was a very young girl I lived in a tiny town called Humarock. If you read me over the fall and winter last year no doubt you heard all about it. The beach and that town in particular, have been the inspiration for many of my endeavors. My business name, Chucka Stone Designs, is a direct derivative (Hum-a-Rock, Chuck-a-Stone). Since a couple family members owned houses there I spent nearly every waking moment on the beach as a kid and as many as I could spend each year after. See my profile picture of me at age three. I still like to be barefoot as much as possible. For a short time when we were kids we lived in my grandparent’s house and my favorite thing about it was the fireplace on cold nights. My sister and I would take our night time shower, wash the dishes from dinner and then toast marshmallows while our hair dried and we watched Wonder Woman. We would go to bed smelling like a campfire, without all the pesky bug bites, knowing that girls who owned invisible jets and deflector cuffs ruled.

As I moved into grammar school, the Care Bears, Strawberry Shortcake and My Pretty Pony reminded me why I was much more partial to trucks and climbing trees so it was no surprise I was drawn to cartoons like Inspector Gadget instead of Muppet Babies. With so many movies being made from old television shows these days it is only a matter of time before someone turns that one into a blockbuster hit. Oh wait, I almost forgot, David Kellogg tried using Matthew Broderick as Gadget back in 1999. It is really hard to keep up.

The current new millennium blockbuster based on a truly one of a kind old time show starred the guy who actually voiced the character of Gadget. How sad that even in 80’s animation Don Adams was pigeon holed into the role of a bumbling idiot spy just like his character Max in Get Smart from twenty years prior.

Now Maxwell Smart was the coolest dork I had ever seen on late night syndication. I mean, seriously, he had a shoe phone for crêpe sake, how could he have not been superfly?

The real secret to both Gadget and Max of course is that they never really did anything right and the women in their lives, Penny and 99 respectively, were the real crime solvers and spy thwarters just like Diana Prince as Wonder Woman. These ladies were the quiet force to be reckoned with even though they were likely dubbed as total geeks; Diana could bench press a football team, Penny’s only friend was a dog and 99 was a multi-lingual violin player.

The moral lesson: Never underestimate the power of a woman. Even if she is a geek, one day she just might save your life or set you free with her lasso of truth.