Details Schmetails

When I woke up on 1/11/11 I became a non smoker. Again. Technically I guess you could say it happened on 1/10/11 seeing as though I flicked my last cigarette at about 11:30 that night but details schmetails.

This is the umpteenth time I’ve tried to quit, as anyone who has read this blog long enough knows, but I have a feeling this one might just stick because I’m really tired of gasping through my workouts. When we joined the P90X family last year Matt & I decided that upon completing our first twelve week round we were going to quit. So quit we did!

I tend to be a hypocrite in a whole bunch of areas of my life -- calling myself Green but turning the heat up any chance I can get, eating healthier yet still smoking -- so I guess this is the first step in trying to rectify that problem.

Okay, technically that isn’t entirely true. I first started to correct it by saying I wanted to write novels full time and then actually began the process of querying Agents to have my manuscript published. That is working out pretty good as I just had an agency request to read the first two chapters of the book based on just the query. I sent that along the other day and will wait the prescribed two-three months for a reply. It might be a request for more, it might not, but either way interest is being generated and I’m thrilled.

Thankfully they didn’t request the synopsis seeing as though I still haven’t had the mental capacity to turn 230 pages into 20. I guess sometimes I also work better under pressure so I’ll do it when I have to.

Maybe that’s not the best solution but it’s all I got right now so it’ll have to do.

Smoking has been a part of my life for all of my life in some capacity or another as most of my relatives on my dad’s side were smokers before I was even born and some still are now. I started at about age fourteen in a casual, social way but really became a smoker at eighteen. That was when I graduated high school and was no longer involved in sports.

I’m starting to see the connection to athleticism and inability to wheeze while in the midst of that athletic activity. Shocker, I know.

Plus that’s almost twenty years ago now. Scary thought that I’ve been poisoning myself for that long. With so many other changes afoot this one should be a no brainer. Something I don’t even have to think about because it just makes sense.

But that’s the very place I start to go mad -- my mind. The body is almost out of the physical withdrawal symptoms now and chewing the replacement gum has helped with that a lot but last night I was definitely in the bargaining phase in my head. ‘If I could only be that type of person who has a smoke just after dinner…’ But I can’t. So I won’t.

Matt is using the patch and so far he seems to be doing okay too. I think he’s been at it almost as long as me so I’m sure he’s going through a lot of the same internal stuff I am. We’re trying not to be cranky or take it out on each other. So we pretty much haven’t said boo to each other in the past three days.

That would be okay in most situations seeing as though he goes to work outside the house but yesterday he worked from home because of our second “blizzard” in as many weeks and I think we said about three words to each other all day. I just chewed a lot of gum and focused on my class while he rubbed his shoulder under the patch and focused on his job.

Speaking of, my first class is going pretty well, it’s a Psychology course though (which usually escapes me) and I’m already looking forward to my next class, Genres of Literature or something like that. In this one we’re studying all manner of human development and how physical, mental and social aspects in our lives directly relate to how we grow and shift as adults.

Socially I don’t really hang out with any other smokers on a consistent basis, besides Matt, so that’s helpful and physically I’m tired of experiencing the negative effects of it on my body so, again, that is an easy jump. Like I said, it’s all in my head now.

And I will move past it, I just know its going to take some time.

Broken Thoughts, Am I Early? Do I Care?

The picture is from our foliage viewing trip last weekend. It was a really nice day, we always do so much talking about all things life when we have hours of time in the car. Road trips are some of my favorite memories with Matt over the years. Even when we weren’t seeing things like Mt. Monadnock, but just the same old boring and dark roads from LINY to Springfield every Friday night for two plus years. For some reason the car is so us. Maybe that is fate telling us to buy an RV and hit the road or something. Or maybe not.

Now that I have a food processor and finally walked through the door of the unbelievably cool spice store Penzeys in Arlington (I am happy to report there are 42 across the country including one in Grand Central Terminal of all places!) it was high time for me to finally try my hand at making chocomole. That stuff is the shit!! I am not sure I can bring myself to ever make regular pudding again. Even Matt said he could not tell, and he was trying to.

I modified it from the original recipe because I didn’t have enough avocado so I ended up thinning it out a bit with the left over water from soaking the dates and I forgot completely about the coconut oil. Next time I’m thinking of using dried cherries instead of the dates, or maybe in addition to. All I know is I couldn’t even finish a whole bowl it was so rich and that is definitely not like me when it comes to chocolate. So thanks Jason, this will go into regular rotation in this house!

This afternoon my mom and I are going to visit her friend Bill, have lunch together and then just the two of us are hitting the Garment District and/or Goodwill to see if we can find some good Halloween costume supplies. Matt and I both need wigs and I was also hoping to try my hand at stitching up a little something for my costume. Pictures and/or success/disaster stories to follow!

Bill fell victim to a fairly massive stroke a couple years ago and he is now a resident of an assisted living facility in the heart of the city. He and my mom have been friends since I can remember and as a super active guy (traveling once a year to places like Paris or Africa, a stellar photographer, night shift worker, foodie, movie aficionado) the stroke was quite a life changing blow. Bill was like a second dad to me growing up, except you know, gay. I try to see him once a year, which is about all I used to see him after growing up & getting out on my own but this time of year is odd, we usually get together just after the New Year. Regardless, it should be a nice day. I anticipate we will be going for sushi but who knows.

So my neighbors upstairs are slowly pushing the both of us toward paranoia. Every time Matt or I go into the bathroom or kitchen one of them seems to follow. It wouldn’t be so bad except by some chance both of them tend to be home all day everyday like me. I wish I knew what they did for a living that they only have to leave the house once every three weeks or so; maybe they are writers too? I never hear them on a phone or talking during the day (believe me I should be able to in this place) so I don’t think they are sales people, although I know they both allegedly work in the financial industry. The only thing I hear is them walking around, but only when we do. It is now getting a little creepy. I am thinking maybe we should both become screamers.

I wonder how many books are published every year?

So has everyone seen the freaky UFO cloud in Moscow yet? No? Well it was quite a phenomenal sight apparently and one that Russian meteorologists are brushing off as a weather related, “optical” thing. Um, OK. I mean really, I saw Men In Black. Hell I own Independence Day. Where is Will Smith when you need him? Wait, did Michael Bay or Jerry Bruckheimer make either of those movies?

Speaking of Jerry Bruckheimer, last night we decided to throw on the television for the first time in weeks to watch something prime time and after a couple killer episodes of NCIS and the new (but actually really good despite the absence of Tony & Abby) NCIS: Los Angeles we clicked over to another network for the show forgotten. All hail Christian Slater! I was probably one of the only people on Earth who kind of enjoyed My Own Worst Enemy when it was on and I was sad to see it yanked so soon because I thought Slater could have done a lot more with the role. So when I discovered this show last night I was intrigued.

Not too bad, a twist on the typical crime drama where the people investigating the crime are not cops, just average citizens who concern themselves with solving Jane/John Doe crimes. I don’t think I would stay home to watch it but that isn’t saying much, there is really only one show I would stay home to watch (yes, Lost) but some other random Tuesday when we decided to throw on NCIS I hope this is still on the air.

Since taking the semi break from blogging I have been doing a ton of journal writing. Seems to be doing the trick; my brain constipation is apparently getting its recommended dose of fiber because I have a bunch of new prose for the book. Thank goodness, it was starting to feel like my creative stuff might never come back.

Tomorrow I work on the character book. This is an area where I have previously failed. I start something and then want it to be “perfect” so I never finish it but constantly go back to just the content already written and edit over and over again. Well no more. This character is dying to come to a conclusion.

Since the over edit thing has never seemed to work to get me to finish a book before I figure the best solution is to do something completely different, so this time I am just going to write the whole thing in one shot, no edits at all. After that I will re-read and edit 100 times before I shop it but at least I will be able to breathe knowing she has been purged out of me.

The Farmer’s Market is ending in a couple weeks and I am not going to be able to get there today with all the other stuff going on. Kind of a bummer but its so freaking cold out I’m not sure that is a bad thing. Besides, I shouldn’t have to grocery shop for at least three more days and I don’t want to go early, this planning meals thing is working out awesome!

Since starting to eat less meat and more protein/veggie filled meals I am actually noticing that I have dropped a couple pounds of fat off my tummy. This is impressive because I haven’t yet upped my exercise quotient. That is starting this week. Quitting smoking was the best thing ever. My whole body feels healthier and ready to get back in shape. It’s about time.

Thinking of learning Spanish, must look into local college courses. Huh, if I go back to school I can stop paying my student loans for a while too. Definitely worth looking into I think. Maybe for January. I have a few years to get it together.

Still haven’t found an artist to draw my tattoo. That might be something I have to just do myself. I am so seriously sick of putting this off, waiting for the perfect thing.

What I am really finding is there is no such thing as the perfect thing/time/situation. That thing/time/situation is right now. Procrastination went out of fashion with smoking. It is time for action.

It is going to take me at least ten extra minutes to pull the box of gloves out of the closet and put them all on. Sadly, I just put them away about two weeks ago when spring ended; welcome to the second season in New England -- winter! The voice in the basement eerily whispering “GET OUT!” is creeping back with the colder temperatures. But the spirit of “action” has me getting all my ducks in a row.

In light of that, read these awesome blogs while I go get ready to hit pavement. Later! KC, Ginger, Kate, Bridgete and Bree

I Can Not Let BTPTh Pass By

OK, I know. I said something about not being here very often over the next few weeks. So isn’t a gal allowed to change her mind? Geez. Guess I just felt compelled to post something today because my thought process is very broken right now. This post should be a plethora of random, inane wackiness.

So I have been thinking. Why are there no stars right next to Earth? Why do we have to go light years outside our own Solar System to reach them? OK, I know the Sun is technically considered a star but then this makes me think even greater thoughts like I wonder if every single star is a sun and if tiny little Solar Systems spin around each of them. It isn’t like we can get to them to find out so how can we really know? I hope so. I hope other beings exist in other systems and treat their own rock the way we should be treating ours.

I have been smoke free for twelve days. Matt is using the patch. I only smoked 1-2 a day and the patch makes me feel like I’m having a heart attack so I’m going cold. Not sure how I’m doing. I want to be quit because seriously smoking is so last decade but for some reason I’m having a way more difficult time this time around. I really wanted to quit last year. But if I don’t just stay quit this time I’m never going to get around to doing it later so that is that. I need to totally reprogram my brain.

With the advent of quitting Matt & I estimate we will be able to save upwards of $3000 a year. Yeah, no joke. Collectively we smoked a pack a day and at about $8.50 a pack that is over 3k a year. There are many things we are both looking forward to putting that money towards.

First off, we’re joining the Trustees of Reservations and getting a fairly chunky membership at that. At the Sponsor level we’ll be supporting the over 100 locations across Massachusetts that the Trustees support. Free entry into many of the beaches alone makes this well worth the cost, but they also have historic register properties and lots of great hiking trails to explore too.

I am going to admit that I need some structure toward working my literal ass off and will join the gym. The one right down the street offers a whole bunch of cool classes like yoga and Pilates and some aerobic stuff too plus just having access to a treadmill is going to be the golden ticket for me.

We both plan to get our butts out to see a whole lot more live music again. We used to be super duper concert goers, discovering new and local acts all over the Boston music scene but let that slide in recent years so it is going to be nice getting back into music again.

Matt is probably going to upgrade his bike to one that is a bit sturdier for mountain biking and he’s going to buy a season pass to a local ski area.

While he’s off doing that, if I’m not at the gym, I plan to be taking drum lessons or getting my first tattoo. Finally.

The tat is tripping me up a little bit. I do not want something that anyone else has so it can’t come from the wall, and it has to be something that really means something to me; otherwise why would I permanently mark my body with it? Anyone know any phenomenal artists who will let me just tell them the stuff I love and then they will whip up something amazing that is no more than a few inches square? Then anyone have other suggestions of a tattoo artist who can interpret it and adorn my hip with it?

One of the awesome products that was sent to me to review is a “cook” book called Raw Energy 124 Raw Food Recipes…. I have been hearing more and more about this food movement lately and although I have long admitted to being an omnivore some of the stuff in this book sounds way too good not to try. When grocery shopping tomorrow I have to pick up a whole bunch of stuff to make some of these and a few of Ginger’s vegan yummies.

My ex sent a friend request on Facebook. WTF? We’re not talking the “oh its so good to hear from this person because we haven’t spoken since we broke up when both of us went to college and there were no hard feelings” ex. I’m at a loss what to do.

Well off to dinner and ice cream with a good friend.

Why not go ahead and check the fun stylings of KC, Bree, Bridgete, Ginger and Kate for more randomly sprouted thoughts.

Photo courtesy of South Park Studios clips