Nobody Ever Says ‘I Like Long Walks on the Beach’ Anymore

What do you think about this idea…

Posting as a Guest Poster on your own blog because you’re writing something from your character’s point of view?

I was actually thinking of doing it this morning. What do you think? Would it be a good way to work out some character development? Maybe even get a few hundred words written for the book? Or is it kind of weird because there’s no such thing as method writing? Or is there? Well even if there is, I wouldn’t be taking part.

See, in MS2 my main character, Donna McCarthy (subject to change), is a blogger who writes about her dating life and all the stuff going on around her. It’s a lot like my blog, except, you know, without me actually having to ever date a rodeo clown. And thank god for that because clowns freak me the fuck out.

But I digress.

Donna is a single gal and her primary focus online is to talk about her wacky dates. Most of them end up being tragically sad and never move past a first date. But then I was thinking why not let her post about dating without her having to go on a date. She could just talk about how irritating the online dating world can be. “Donna” – remember, fictional character – would post her own randomness and lunacy over here.

I’d use the same title that’s on this blog post of course.

Because even though I’m not online dating I can pretty much guarantee that under Interests you’re not going to see answers like sunsets, romantic hand holding over candle light, slow saxophone solos, mullets, or any of the other answers you had on your Cosmo quiz in 1993.

Which is also pretty likely the last year I actually bought Cosmo.

Everyone always says to write what you know.  And what the heck do I know about the online dating scene other than what I hear from people? How can I go and write a character that lives in the dating scene of 2012 when I’m not a part of it?

All of these questions beg me to ask another - Do I need to toss this MS altogether?

Has my inspiration and love for this story and the characters fizzled out completely? Or is it just time to put it in a drawer for the next six months and start dedicating time to developing the next MS so I can approach Donna and the rest of them with renewed interest later?

I’ve been struggling with moving the plot forward now that I’ve got a fresh concept for the ending in mind and I’m feeling less than enthusiastic to work on it. Even less so than when I got to the love/hate part while working on Ripple the Twine. I put editing on my calendar but didn’t do much. Yes I do admit there was a lot going on with Ripple promotion in late July. But I look at the half bleeding MS2 now that all that is over and think, meh.

I even finished painting my baseboard trim in the master bath today to avoid working on the edits and re-writes. That’s got to be a sign, right? But what kind of sign is the question – that I’m done for a while or that I’m phoning it in like a pansy?

Ugh, Writers. Always overanalyzing everything until all we see is a jumbled word cloud of chaos.

BORING

Last week started my cavalcade of editing content and structure of my second manuscript.  Yea.  Can you feel the enthusiasm?  No?  Yeah well neither can I.  This is the part of the process where I hate my characters, hate my story, and I’ve considered using the 206 page piece of crap as kindling in my fireplace.  And yeah, it is July in Arizona.  So you know it has to be pretty bad.

Well, maybe not bad per se, just boring.  So very boring I would actually rather work out, vacuum, or format this post to have a different font every other word, than sit down to edit anything having to do with Donna or her pathetic life. 

Basically, fuck this manuscript.  The title is awful and doesn’t fit the content.  My characters are thin and no one is going to give a crap about their stupid little problems.  Geographically I’m being a fraud because I set it in Boston (of course) but I’m not set in Boston anymore.  Plot, scene, structure, character development – all crap.  Crap, crap, CRAP!

Then I remember to breathe.

Because I’ve been through this once before.

The problem isn’t necessarily with the writing; the problem is with my head.

I know I can write it to be a more fully developed story.  I also know it isn’t winning a Pulitzer but that the writing is better than Fifty Shades of Grey.  Or so I’ve been told.  I’m not intending on reading it to find out just how good or bad the grammar and spelling really are; I trust the horrified posts from my fellow writers and plan to stay clear.  But some rumors about it are likely to be true.  For example, the content.

Which means that single book is like a time bomb for writers like me.

Writers who celebrate the joys in subtle cuteness.

If you read Ripple the Twine you know I’m not one for sex scenes.  I mean I have Sara and Ben flirting mercilessly with each other, bantering, kissing, making out in public places, but the part where they jump in the sack?  Well let’s just say I appreciate the art of the ‘fade-into-the-flickering-candle-light’ device that most daytime soap operas use to cut away at that point.

I’m not all Victorian about it or anything but the chance you’ll see the following words in my books (when referring to something other than construction of course) is pretty slim:

-      Nail

-      Caulk

-      Hammer

-      Heaving

-      Throbbing

-      Nipple (Yes I’m serious, this is a plumbing term)

Wow, I could seriously write the sexual innuendo book if I felt like it.  Thing is though, I don’t feel like it.  I’ve been relying on my imagination to fill in blanks like that my whole life.  I really don’t get when fiction lost the ‘show not tell’ concept.  I don’t want to hear exactly how they did it.  Book porn (ahem, sorry, I mean the genre of Erotica) has never been my thing.  To write or read.  To me it’s so much hotter to imagine what the two of them might be doing.  So that’s how I write.

If I can show the tension sparking between them then your mind is going to do a better job of knowing what happens next.  Me telling you is kind of a letdown.  At least that’s how it works for me.  Because everyone’s idea of what happens after the kiss is so vastly different that I don’t want to read the version of it that someone else decides, these characters are living in my head (every time I open a book).

But now, with the emergence of the already mentioned Fifty, mark my words, sex is going to take a front seat in television, movies, books and any other media deemed appropriate to share a nipple or a caulk. 

And here I am writing cuteness.

But, and this is a huge but, I refuse to change what I embrace writing.  Because, even though being a sellout is something I can wrap my head around, I still have my limits as to just how far I’m willing to sell out.  Which means in the eyes of the larger public these days I’m bor-ing.  Go ahead, ask me if I care?  You’re right, I don’t.

So when I sit down to do rewrites on my cute little girlie story the only thing I’m reading for is if the writing is boring – did Donna seriously just try to tell us what she ate for breakfast?  Because, no.  Well, at least not in that much detail please.  That kind of stuff is fine for Facebook but not for a real book.  Because on Facebook it really holds no bearing if people ignore it.  In a real book situation being ignored is about as career-ending as it gets.

And I’m just in the infancy of mine, looking for an Agent and working on only my second MS, so ending it isn’t in the plans.  I’ll clean up and clear out all references of bacon and eggs that aren’t truly integral to showing what Donna is about.

I only hope I can connect with an Agent who understands that, when reading and writing, sometimes a girl likes her hammer to be nothing more than a hammer.

Setting Up the Command Center and Getting Back Online

FINALLY!  And, yes, I’m aware that it has technically only been a few days since I disconnected the computer back on the other end (six), as well as the fact that I had plenty of internet access on my phone.  Really, though, details, schmetails!  I’m all hooked up in my office now.  It felt like forever let me tell you and setting things up in here feels great.

I’m calling the office the Den of Words and Sports and I'm lucky enough to be able to do everything from this one space now.  Matt accepted a new position which means he sadly no longer works from home.  But only sadly in the fact that it was nice having lunch together every day and that he was out of work by 3:00 (east coast hours).  It isn’t sad that he’s got a really great thing going at the new place and a far lower stress level to go along with it.  Even if it means he’s not home until 5:30, if his general career-self-ness is happier & more satisfied then he’s a lucky man.

And I’m a lucky woman too because with him out of the house I get the entire office area to dedicate to my stuff for the first time ever.  He gets a workshop in the garage, his man space and I get my Den.

It’s MINE!  It’s ALL MINE!!!  MY PRECIOUS!!!

Ahem…

First and foremost I have the desks set up for maximum writing and editing potential.  That’s pretty key considering I’m pursuing it from a career standpoint.  I kinda can’t just do it from my netbook on the sofa anymore.  The netbook with a 10” screen.  The sofa we’ve had for about seven years.  The sofa, like all of our furniture except the hand-me-downs, that came from IKEA when we were college-poor (pay no mind to the fact that we were in our late twenties/early thirties at the time, technically it isn’t a lie seeing as though I was in school).  Anyway, the sofa that needs to get the eff up on outa’ here.

But all in due time.  First and most important, did I mention I get the office all to myself?

So now that the writing station is covered that opens up the closet and the other 1/3 of the room to accommodate my hobbies too.  I have a permanent spot for my sewing machine for the first time in ages, and the closet can house stuff I’ve picked up for jewelry making that I actually kept after the Great Purge of 2009.

Oh yeah, and this is the room where all my sports memorabilia is going.  Booyah!

Mark Recchi (holding one of his three Stanley Cups, wearing a Bruins jersey), a Christmas gift from my Aunt (who rocks!), will be right across the room from me.  Obviously not the real Mark, the framed photo of his smiling face is perfect thank you very much.  My poster of Nomar (Nomah!!!) Garciaparra, the ‘We Got the Cup!’ poster we all got on Bruins parade day, the little Red Sox plastic cap that they sell you the ice cream inside of, and my New England Patriots bottle opener will all be on some kind of display.

Sorry but I can’t help that I’m a Boston sports nut.  I mean, when you grow up there you get it.  Even people who aren’t into sports at all are open to appreciating the fact that the Yankees suck.  Because they do.

But I digress…

The office will hopefully have a reading chair as well.  I love to read for enjoyment of course but aside from blogs and articles, there are paperback versions of guides and advice that I read for the business side and I want to keep business stuff in here.  Plus I’m hoping I can also do some reviews for other indie Author’s novels this year.  I have a couple friends who have written books and I’d love to get my take on them out there through Writesy.

Which reminds me…

If you’ll allow me another digression (which you likely will if you’re over here to begin with cuz this thing ain’t called Random Lunacy for nothin’!) I’d like to take a moment to just thank (profusely) all the amazing and wonderful people who have purchased a copy of my book!  In total, since first publishing this past April I’ve sold 68 copies of Ripple the Twine.  Holy crap!

That’s a whole lotta’ love and from the tips of my toes I cannot thank you enough for supporting my venture into the business of Writing and self-publishing.  I’m really proud of this book but it still humbles me that well over 50 people bought a single piece of my writing.  In all the zines, chapbooks, etc. I’ve never sold 68 copies before.  For this many people to believe in what I’m doing is actually (and not in that literally/totally/actually way but for real) about the most surreal thing I’ve ever experienced.

And now I have an office all to myself to write in, a corner office with a pretty nice view of blue skies.

Apparently I must be doing something right because the gods of (whatever oversees the career track) are certainly smiling on me!

Anyway, thank you all so, so much for your love and support!

And now back to your regularly scheduled post about moving and setting up stuff.

I’ll probably hang some photos this weekend, things that are already framed and that we plan to use, but otherwise I’m taking the entire weekend off.  Matt too.  We both deserve it I can say that for sure after being on non-stop go-time the past month since we closed on the house.

There’s been a pool pump & filter replacement (including plumbing) done, epoxy overlay in the master bath shower, hanging of curtain rods and large poster art.  And that’s just what Matt’s done.

I pretty much painted every interior surface with the exception of ceilings (which I cut in and Matt rolled), a few bathroom cabinets, and all the doors.  But including kitchen cabinets.  Which I now somewhat regret because they were tough to do and the paint wasn’t the best quality.  But they admittedly look 1000% better and will do until we replace them.

We plan to rip out the bathrooms over the next year or so.  Functionally speaking they work fine for now but I figure if we leave them hideous it will speed up the process of saving to do what we really want not just what works to get by.  That’s here already, and as we all know Matt and I had the ‘let’s-make-it-good-enough-and-flip-it(-but-ha-ha-it-never-sells-sucka)-house in the past.

If nothing else Labor of Love taught us to be patient.

Um, yeah, that’s it.  Go ahead, ask Matt how I’m doing with that concept.  Patience isn’t in my vocabulary when I am setting up my house.  My house is my thing.  Some people have shoes or bags, I’m all about my house.

Regardless though I’m frantic over spending as if we’re destitute or something.  Which we’re not.  If we were, we would have never considered buying.  We’re doing fine and all that hoo-ha but scrimping and saving for years then watching the rapid depletion of your savings go ‘POOF!’ in one fail swoop called a down payment, well, it kinda gets stuck right there in the throat.  Especially when I’m not pulling in any kind of predictable income right now.

But enough about all that.  Have I mentioned I’m writing this blog post from my brand new, office?  The one that’s all mine?

In time, maybe over the course of the next five years or so, our plans include opening up all the kitchen walls to the living room space so we have a great room open concept feel.  The reason it’ll be years down the line is it also means the entire tile floor comes up because it was installed up to the trim, not under it.  And that’s a project neither of us will do ourselves, nor do we want to spend money on it right now.  There are priorities far greater that benefit the short term and long term.

For example, the plumbing must be looked at relatively soon.  Every time we run a load of laundry bigger than a medium sized cycle at one end of the house, the showers back up all the way at the other end of the house.  Um, so not okay.

Our plumbing plans include having that inspected as well as moving the water and gas lines for the laundry into the house from the garage.  Because, really?  I don’t understand what genius thought ‘Ooh I’ve got an idea! Let’s put the place where you’re cleaning your clothes in the dirtiest place in your house. Brilliant!’

Laundry in the garage never made sense to me and since the wall abuts the kitchen wall we’re bringing it into the kitchen.  Which of course means building out a closet for it.  Which would leave the kitchen with an off-balance design.  Which of course means building out a pantry on the opposite corner.  And if we’re installing such nice doors and cabinetry/countertops over there we’re going to want to rip out the kitchen with its painted cabinets and laminate countertops over here…

I think you can see where this is going.

It’s going nowhere right now, that’s for sure.  All in time.  And I stress all.

Anyway, we’re moved in and almost totally unpacked.  This week will probably be the final push.  Plus I’ll be posting stuff on craigslist and /or Freecycle and eBay over the course of the next week or so.

And I’ll be doing it all from my very own office.