Updateapalooza

So much going on right now I hardly know where to begin!  This is going to be one of those scattered and broken thought process kind of posts today so I can jam it all in there.  Aren’t you lucky?  Well of course you are!  I'm bringing Broken Thought Process Thursday back, woo hoo! For today anyway.

Ripple the Twine

Most importantly, the book is progressing nicely (especially considering the BTPTh link above includes an excerpt that isn't even in the finished MS anymore).  I will be acquiring the ISBN in the next couple weeks (budget, budget, budget!) and hopefully will finish formatting in about the same timeframe.  THAT is a lot of work let me tell you!  But it’s totally necessary and I don’t mind doing it knowing the book will look so much prettier when complete.

Judi FitzPatrick Studio was in-state recently and we had a little photo shoot for my book cover.  We’re working out specifics now and that should be wrapped up in the next couple weeks as well.  Can’t wait until that’s all situated, once I have the cover art it’s on like Ping-Pong, bitches!  I can order business cards, bookmarks, posters and other marketing material and I can get the graphic all over the place (promote, promote, promote!).

Also, I essentially had to start a publishing house in order to do this self-publish thing but it wasn’t too hard, just a lot of reading on the IRS website for EIN’s and stuff (research, research, research!).  Come to find out the EIN I had for CSD will work for Writesy Press as well.  I like the name, think it has a nice ring to it and it looks kind of sweet inside the front cover!

Ed-u-ma-cation

School is O.V.E.R.  Forever and finally. 

I know everyone says ‘never say never’ and all that but I think I should just finally admit to myself that I’m not the type who wants or needs a formal, structured, education in my life. 

My relationship with higher education began twenty years ago (almost to the month in fact…fuck, I’m feeling old!) when I first stepped through the doors at Middlesex Community College.  I started thinking about this quite a bit back in mid-January when I decided to withdraw from Ashford University.  I think all the financial messiness was the final straw but I really started to look back on all the signs and personal challenges over the years as related to college and how it was a non-essential part of my life.

I’ve gone to four different schools for four different paths over the past two decades.  I’ve accumulated massive debt and have absolutely no knowledge of how that debt will be repaid as I don’t have a steady paycheck (yet).  I’ve gone to, and subsequently dropped out of all but one program; the second attempt was just a short-term certificate course.  Basically, as I’ve said before, I’m the Sandra Bullock character in Forces of Nature with a four page long resume.

Ashford Instructors started to be less and less involved, yet I stayed.  The course content became less and less related to the course, yet I stayed.  The other students in class displayed less and less intelligence as each class went on, yet I stayed.  Then the bitches tried to fuck with my money.  It was like the proverbial baseball bat upside the head, I finally knew it was time to just admit that school is not my thing and get out so I could finally start learning.

The Attorney General in the state of Iowa was contacted and given specifics about the financial stuff.  They have decided to take the case.  If I can save just one person from being denied an education that they actually want, but can't complete because the shady financial practices cause them to leave school, then I'll feel like the battle was all worth it.  I may never even know but that's okay, I like happy endings so I'll go ahead and believe its possible.

Battling Against Cancer

One of the things I’ve learned recently in the school of the world is that there are people out there who get the shaft for absolutely no reason.  These people are so fucking great there should be statues in their honor in town squares and stuff.  They are selfless, kind, caring, giving and struggling, yet they still continue to give.  That’s hardcore rainbows and sunshine people!

You all know my dear friend Ginger, right?  No?  Well you can check out her link – Life & Bagels.  She & I met in the coolest way possible – through comments left on Jason Mraz’s (late) blog, Freshness Factor Five Thousand (RIP).  Yup, that’s right.  Represent for all the early lovers of the love!  We’ve known each other for about five-ish years already (holy shnikeys!) but have never met. 

Whatever.  Face-to-face has no bearing on friendship.  I’ve got a really good friend in Ohio who’s married and has a kid.  He’s about a year older than me and we met for the first time at his wedding almost ten years ago.  We had been pen-pals since I was sixteen years old.  Yes, remember actual letters?  Just like the blogs and comments of today’s generation.  You can know a person without knowing them.  So, anyway, back to Ginger.

Last year she was diagnosed with carcinosarcoma.  Yeah it’s a mouthful.  It’s cancer.  Those words are never going to be easy to pronounce because medical type people want you to linger over the names as long as possible.  Fuckers.  Anyway, Ginger is a working gal with a limited insurance plan and getting treatment to survive a cancer that no one walks for or really even knows about.  Its pretty rare.  It sucks that she has this, it sucks that the treatment is a bitch to pay for.

What doesn’t suck is that the people she works with all pitched in and bought her a car recently (she was a public transportation kind of gal for a while there).  What also doesn’t suck is her attitude.  The woman is a freaking cancer battling ninja!  But a few bucks would really help her to pay the bills for all of the stuff she has to do to be the ninja.  You can go right over to PayPal and send her a tax deductible donation at whatwouldgingerdo@gmail.com  Any amount is welcomed.

Goals to strive for

I have four daily goals right now.  For as long as I can muster the courage and strength to continue to strive for them I’m looking forward to completing as many per day as I can.  The ideal would be to do at least three of the four every day.  They are:

·         Write

·         Read

·         Exercise

·         Socialize (and I don’t mean strictly through online media)

And would ya look at that?  Here’s my first goal already achieved and it’s barely even 9:00 AM in Phoenix!

So to recap – Ripple the Twine is coming out in April through Writesy Press, my mom is a kick ass Photographer, I’m officially a student of the world, my mind-body-soul is being worked on as often as possible, and my friend really could use some help. 

That email again -- whatwouldgingerdo@gmail.com

So that’s pretty much it for now.  Kaythanxhaveagreatday!

Obstatunity Comes from Strategery: Part II

Back before we moved out here to Arizona I wrote a post on Matt's working situation which I just went back and re-read as I tried to decide if 'Obstatunity Comes from Strategery' could have a sequel.  As you brilliantly surmised from the title of the post, yes, yes it can.

Only this time it’s my freaking obstatunity.  And I'm planning to run with it.  But first, seeing as though you already know me and know the way it works around these parts, I'll give you the back story.

A year ago I started classes at Ashford University as most if not all of you know.  I Googled the school, read good things, did my research and all that stuff.  But I also did the same for the couple other Universities in question.  I'd been paying back student loans for a couple years from my 2 prior failed attempts at higher ed-u-ma-cation so if I was going to go back it needed to be the right thing.

When it came time to choose I went with a couple factors:
1) School needed full accreditation
2) School needed to have the program I was looking for (BA English)
3) School needed to be fairly well respected

There were 2 out of 3 with my old University that I'd had phenomenal success with - the Art Institute.  Sadly, the one thing it didn't offer was a BA in English.  I narrowed down and chose Ashford. 

For about the first 5 or so classes I was happy with my choice!  Some of the Instructors seemed invested, the course work was recoculously challenging and I actually felt as if my dollars were going to something worthy.  Not to mention Ashford used almost all of my AI classes as transfer credits for all my needed electives so I was already a junior level when I entered.  Right where I'd hoped to be after already investing far too many years in higher learning.

I dove in and studied my fucking ass off, I blew off plans with everyone in order to study, I popped at least 3 veins in my brain while completing the course work to maintain my 4.0 GPA.  And I did.  That accomplishment alone made me proud of myself, and it made me realize I was on the correct path in pursuing a Writing career.

Then suddenly last fall I started to notice that more and more Instructors started to care less and less - as evidenced by their blatant lack of response in class and outright disappearing acts.  I also noticed the course work was snore provoking.  As nice as it was for the first class to go from studying a literal 45 hour week down to 10, by the fourth I was getting frustrated.  But I only had a year to go until that degree was in my hot little hands.  I kept pushing the brick wall.  Kept talking myself into the fact I needed this degree, that I had to have it.

Then all this utter bullshit happened and I really started to question:
1) The need for the degree in the first place
2) The dedication level I'd really have if I stayed
3) The validity of the degree in question.

I was torn not only just on paying the non-existant bill but on staying at the school even if I did.  I had no clue what to do, I was at an impasse in my brain.

Then all of a sudden I realized (with a little help from a friend) that if I keep going to school the only thing I'm going to get is more debt, more popped veins and a degree from a shady University that I won't even really want to tell anyone about.

Instead, it would be far more worth my time to study at the University called the World, read, write, network and publish my fucking book, man.  I'm so far in the hole enough already that I can hardly see how to get out.  But then I feel like I caught sight of the first rung and it feels great.

Do I feel like a failure for withdrawing at the end of this class?  I did before but now I just feel like all the time I'll get back for myself will be better spent creating my own obstatunity - the one where I actually Write for a living, sell my writing, create contacts, network, whatever the hell other Writers do.

Obstatunity - Continuing my education by reading the shit I want to read.
Strategery   - Using that education to further my own career and pay back the exorbitant loan money I already owe without taking on even more debt.

I started getting serious about writing not too long ago and now I'm just looking at all of this as my glowing neon sign to get out and get on with my life.  I'm not getting any younger and a degree from Shady University will do nothing for me in the long run.

It’s not giving up, it’s changing my mind.  Because it’s time to evolve.

Philosophical and Financial Run Around

Brain has to recharge.  Can’t get clear.

Things I’m pondering with no real answers right now:

Continuing the degree.  My school is being unreasonable and though not actually coming out & saying they’re refusing to send me an itemized bill, I’ve asked for one seven times now and still have nothing.  They just keep referring me to the online finances tab but that’s where the confusion has come from to begin with.  They say I owe $834, the financial current due reads $151.  Most recently I was told that, since I didn’t have a payment schedule set up on my finance page to pay for the thing they’re saying I owe but won’t provide a bill for, I’m going to be suspended from continuing classes.

When is the last time ANYone just forked over $800 because someone said ‘Oh I know your finance tab says you only have a current due balance of $150 but this is for last year.  Last year’s bill (that the disbursements from federal aid covered) is what you owe.  Pay no mind to the actual figures.  Oh yeah & sorry but we don’t generally send out bills.’  Or something to that effect.

So here’s the deal.  The real deal, the crux of it all.  In bullet point format (which doesn’t make it any easier to choose the right answer but it does make it faster to type).

Ø  I’m a year away from graduating with a bachelors in English.

Ø  I’ve wanted to finish school for a very long time.

Ø  I’m too close to the end to give up now.

Ø  I recently read some disturbing news about Ashford University and some financial practices that make this situation sit even less well in my gut.

Ø  I’m tired of being in debt.

Ø  I’m never going to stop accumulating debt if I continue going to school anywhere.

Ø  I am nearing the end of a long road but no matter how tough the battle does it really make a difference in the end?

Ø  I want to be able to say that I hold a bachelor’s degree in English.

Ø  I am about to publish a book without a degree.

Ø  I don’t need to take classes called Mind & Machine to self-publish a novel and be a Writer.

Ø  I’ve been a writer for years, now I’ll be a published Author; all still before any diploma would show up.

Ø  I’m sick of school impacting my everyday life.

Ø  I’m afraid of leaving now only to have to start repaying loans in 6 months when I haven’t even sold a single book on the open market yet.

Ø  I’m less marketable in the mainstream job market without a degree.

Ø  I could give a crap less about the mainstream job market and will do just about anything to ensure I can work the way I want – from home, typing for a living and on “tour” singing for my supper.

Ø  I join organizations and no one has asked where I went to school, only what my book is about.

Ø  I’m getting a headache thinking about all of it.

I’m lost with no clue how to solve this volley in my head.  And I could go on for about 600 more bullet points but somehow I don’t think that’s the best source for curing writer’s block you know?

It’s really something to consider because the money already spent isn’t entirely a waste, I gained a lot of knowledge so far, but how can I really truly show that without having that piece of paper in my hand?  And if I leave now isn’t that money all a waste in the long run?  Or is it?  I just don’t know anymore but I do know that I feel like getting a degree is great but getting it from a University that has apparently been using potentially shady practices with hundreds of student’s money really catches in my throat.  Mostly because now I feel like I’m one of them.

Matt says I should just contact the Attorney General in the state of Iowa if they continue to refuse to give me an itemized bill.  Maybe I should do that anyway.  None of this stuff showed up when I first Googled Ashford University when I first considered them as a higher education option.  I’m a 4.0 student but this entire thing just escapes me as making any sort of logical sense.

I know I have to dig deep into my heart & soul to find the answers, I was just hoping I didn’t have to dig into my wallet because that was what financial aid was supposed to be for.  And if I do decide to just pay them so I can resume my classes how invested am I really going to even be now?  Will I slack off knowing all that stuff above has bubbled to the surface or will I continue as usual studying hard and getting good grades?

Most importantly though, what if the exact same thing happens at the end of my next year of school? 

My brain is about to cave in.