Trading Places with the Mailman

Today’s asking is: share “a picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day.” To choose someone that I’d like to become is a completely loaded question and difficult to answer. What criteria make up the reason to trade places with someone else? What are the important things that I’d have to consider when making my choice?

For the most part I really love my life and was never one to subscribe to the ‘walk in someone else’s shoes’ theory on life. Sorry, but while I can appreciate the place someone else is in I don’t need to feel it myself to understand it. After all, I don’t really know what size feet they have and frankly, I don’t like wearing uncomfortable shoes so they can keep theirs and I’ll keep mine, thanks.

But of course I do get the symbolism in the request so I’ll try to imagine what it would be like to live as someone else for a day.

Clearly we’re talking about a living person because I don’t think I’d be comfortable finding out what’s in store for the afterlife, ya know? Otherwise I’d totally be picking Rosa Parks. Not that she was the first woman, let alone black woman, to stand up for basic human rights but in the catalogue of the people I’ve felt are most influential to the shaping of this nation’s history she is way at the top of my list. That woman rocked. Her simple act of defiance in the face of oppression sparked a movement that forever changed the nation.

After ruling out those who have passed on to the spirit world, for a second, I considered picking Tristan Prettyman because my more self-serving shallow side thought ‘well hell yeah that means I can jump into bed with someone on my top 5 celebrity list, woo hoo!’ but then it hit me that he’s got this line in a song “so what if a two-pump chump can’t last?” and, yeah, I don’t think I'd want to find out if its true or not. Let’s leave the fantasy world a fantasy shall we?

Then I considered how awesome it would be to experience what its like to be one of the most powerful and richest men in the world for a day -- Donald Trump, Bill Gates or Yuri Milner. What would I do with all that cha-ching for twenty four whole hours? I’ll tell you what I’d do, something with my hair. Sorry guys, but no.

The other more humanitarian side then came bubbling up, and I wondered what it might be like to live for a day as a starving orphan with no opportunities available to make a better life. This really caused a couple tears to well in my eyes. I was forced to face the fact that I fully admit to being a selfish and over indulged American. Forgive me for that, but I just couldn’t do it.

Speaking of things I really couldn’t do, I couldn’t handle raising any kids, being in prison, cleaning up any bodily fluids or being an idiot.

So to recap, I’ll need to pick:
• A living person,
• Who isn’t having sex with a big time celebrity,
• That has good hair,
• With food to eat and clean water to drink,
• No kids,
• Living in the free, and puke free, world,
• As a fairly educated, logical human.

A tall order to be sure so the only obvious choice is Mike Bradecich.

Admittedly I can’t find any information whether he has kids or not but he sure has the best gig going. Everyone knows those USPS “If it fits, it ships” commercials so they know his face even if they don’t know his name, he’s a college grad and skilled at Improv, so he’s obviously funny and that’s just a nice side bonus. As a consistently working actor I imagine that affords him the luxury of food to eat and water to drink. I suppose I can’t speak for the swabbing of decks but if he doesn’t have any kids then I imagine I'm in the clear.

Not to mention, he’s got really good hair.

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