Saturday, April 30, 2011

Inversion

I like to be a rule breaker sometimes. Okay maybe not so much a breaker as a bender, especially in this case. The list is two days from the end and it has really been a blast doing it. The challenge of the daily theme has me finding a renewed sense of my blog again. I’m back to really enjoying writing, it doesn’t feel like a chore and although some days might have been no more than mediocre, other days I know I wrote a quality piece of creative non-fiction.

So when I saw that the final request was going to be to share ‘someone I miss’ while the second to last day was looking for a smile, I knew exactly what had to happen. No way I was ending this fun thirty day journey on a sad note! So the final two requests I inverted in order for the whole thing to end on a smile. Today I’m going to share ‘A picture of someone you miss’.

*chirp* *chirp* *chirp*

I literally just sat here for about fifteen minutes, thought about what I would write, who I would post a photo of, and honestly I got nothing.

Yes it’s true that my grandparents have died so they could make the list but I have a completely different feeling about death than a lot of people and although it’s sad they aren’t in my life anymore I don’t miss them per se. I kind of feel like my life wouldn’t be what it is today if any of them were still here and vice versa. We had our time and place and my life is forever better because of it.

And I kind of feel the same way about anyone who is no longer a part of my life. For whatever reasons they’re just gone and in order to miss someone I kind of feel that one needs to experience a form of regret -- the person is gone but there was a sense of something unfinished there, so that’s where the ‘missing’ comes into play.

I don’t feel regret. Ever.

Truly what has happened in life is just what was supposed to happen; nothing is changing what happened ten years or ten seconds ago so to regret is to feel like something went wrong. And I don’t.

I love my life. I’m not trying to sit here and say that everything that happens to me is rays of sunshine shooting out of my ass, I think you all know better than that, but the daily frustrations or sadness just belongs to the past. See? Even writing that sentence is already in the past. Right now, in this exact moment as each finger comes down on every individual key I am fully in it.

Life.

So to put up a picture today seems like it would be forcing something that isn’t there. And that is something I learned long ago you just can’t do. So I’m breaking the rules. Again.

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Catch up on anything you missed  30 Photos, 30 Days
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3 comments:

Bridgete said...

Mmm, I didn't interpret it as people no longer in my life. I just thought of missing in the sense of when you say to someone, "You live so far away! I miss you!" But your interpretation works too.

Can't wait to see your smile photo. :)

Jenn Flynn-Shon said...

Me either -- re: what my smile photo will be lol. I've been mulling it over and I don't want to do it because its the last one! I want to keep blogging (maybe not every day but close) but I kind of like having the theme prompts to stay motivated. I'll figure it out :-)

Almost Precious said...

Having a structure to base a blog on seems to work for a lot of bloggers. I've seen such themes as Memory Monday, Flashback Friday, Tickle me Tuesday. It seems to work for a lot of people but I tend to be such a non-conformist ... well let's just say I'm probably beyond help.

As far as the missing someone goes ... I could see how the challenge could work both ways. I miss my daughter, Wendi, who lives in NY, wished she lived closer to us. I also miss my mom who passed away several years ago, I miss talking to her about all those little things that happen in life, the things that mothers and daughters confide to one another.