Friday, April 29, 2011

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Today I’ve been asked to share ‘A picture of something you're afraid of’ but I’m having trouble coming up with a photo that represents plummeting towards the earth at a ridiculous rate of speed.

Sky diving, bungee jumping, skiing, toppling off the top of the Empire State Building… Don’t get me wrong, I really dislike bugs (especially when they show up in my sandwich at Panera) and those creepy ones with a billion legs actually make my spine shift when I see them on my floor, but I’ve managed to smash them with a shoe before (yeah, I know all those loving lovers out there will say whatever about that but I’m not apologizing. I just figure some giant in the sky will step on me someday in return. At least it will be somewhat quick.) so they don’t rate on the ‘afraid’ list.

For me, to be afraid means fear to the bone, even if the activity in question is something I’ll never do (or do again), just the thought of these things happening must literally make my palms clammy. That short list above? Yeah, it fits the bill.

Though I include skiing in the group it isn’t really the same because the real fear there is smashing into a tree or toppling head-over-heels because of my speed on slippery surfaces. I suppose I could try to fall backward onto my butt and avoid the tree to face. Hey, I’d rather have a broken ankle than be dead by tree. Of course it’s about as likely I’ll ever get on skis again as it was that I’d set my VCR to record the Royal Wedding this morning so it’s probably not much of a concern.

Does anyone still use a VCR? Or did I just date myself so fiercely that it’s clear I could have set one to watch the first “royal wedding of the century” that’s happened within the last 100 years.

Uh-huh.

But I digress.

The funny thing is that speed, and the thought of smashing into things in general, doesn’t really bother me. I’m dying to go white water rafting again and driving a racecar above 125 mph is on my bucket list. Both of those activities include the very real possibility that I could crash into a side wall of sorts but that doesn’t really frighten me like the idea of free-falling and being smashed.

Rafting I’ve done before so I know the basic gist of what to expect -- lots of hard paddling, tons of cold ass water in the face, possible tipping over, and a 1-2 dunk if you go in the river so don’t breathe on the first time you rise.

I’ve skied too and I also know what to expect there -- people coming down the mountain behind me telling me how awesome I looked and me asking if they picked up my heart on the way down because it managed to shoot right out of my chest somewhere just after the chair lift.

Think I’ll stick to on ground/mostly flat(ish) surface stuff thanks.

But truly all of that is just an underlying fear of dying and I don’t really have that fear. Its like, well, part of life so no matter if I jump off a tall building or get gang green from a paper cut something is going to take me out someday. I guess I just would rather not push the odds by engaging in raucous activities that’s all.

I’m a thrill seeker, it’s just that I usually seek those thrills from my sofa. Or behind the wheel.

Anyway, all that aside, I guess what I’m actually most afraid of is being invited to a Royal Wedding someday and having to wear on my head something that resembles a cat that crawled up there to die.


Sorry, but I just don’t get it.

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6 comments:

Suldog said...

Royal wedding... MY WIFE traveled to her sister's town yesterday, to stay over and watch the royal wedding with her. Meanwhile, as someone who thinks that royalty is just another name for parasitic leeches who drain society, I stayed home and watched Gilligan's Island re-runs!

Rosebud Collection said...

You know, the hat business I don't get..When we use to have to wear hats to church, some were mighty classy..but these hats are silly.
At least to me they are..did you see Fergies daughters..I swear the went on a fox hunt to get them..one looked like a tree..Maybe it is me.
Hey, I do have a VCR and love it..
My fear..Lightening..I never know what is in Mother Natures plans and I try and keep out of her way..
Have a happy weekend..xoxoRosebud/Carolyn

Jenn Flynn-Shon said...

Jim I am so feeling that! I didn't even turn on the tv until about 6:00, and when I did immediately flicked over to the History Channel to watch my 3 new obsessions - 'Pawn Stars', 'American Restoration', and 'American Pickers'!

Carolyn omg you actually almost made me spit coffee "I swear the went on a fox hunt to get them..one looked like a tree" -- was that the one that was some pukey brownish color and just a bunch of squiggles that rose up out of her forehead? Because I was thisclose to using that one for my pic instead of Victoria Beckham. I don't get it either.

Almost Precious said...

Too funny and too true. :D

As far as the Royal Wedding guests and their hats and/or fascinators go ... well it did provide us all with a lot of laughs. Yeah, especially the one that looked like she was wearing a starched octopus on her head. I figure the milliner that fabricated that one was either drunk or playing one cruel joke at her customer's expense. Yikes, can you believe she actually PAID for that thing? :D

Jenn Flynn-Shon said...

Anna, Princess Beatrice's hat actually had its own Facebook page created within minutes of her debuting it in front of the church. Now the hat (not her, just the hat) has 23+ pages and I can't even bring myself to count the groups. Its soooo the way of the world these days right? Crazy.

Joan said...

I also don't get it!