The Tale of the Pop Princess Turned Novelist

I’m not progressive, edgy, hipster, or any of the other things that used to separate a person from the crowd of “cool” kids and now in some miraculous twist of fate, they allegedly make you the cool kid. I like boys and cheezy girlie heartstring type romance stories. I like comedy and the color fuchsia. I like pop music, a good hook, and lyrics that have absolutely nothing to do with anything.

And you know what? I saw “Chasing Amy”, I know that “Idiosyncratic Routine” doesn’t get as many fans as “Bluntman & Chronic” but Adams' character had fans. People did actually line up at the front of her table and ask her to sign their comic book. She wasn’t completely cynical and bitchy like Lee’s character but she also wasn’t an idiot like Affleck’s character either. She kind of fell somewhere right in the middle.

That’s the type of writer I’m aiming to be – just edgy enough it will keep all the cool kids interested in today’s have-to-have-it-last-week society, but also hopeful enough so the people who still believe in love will have a sense of everything being right with the world. Ah, balance.

And that’s exactly what my book is so I think it is high time the thing gets published. Seriously, I’m just sooooo sick of talking about it being in the pre-published stage. I want to start talking about it in the published sense! That manner where I tell people to come to my book signing, go to buy it, perhaps even load on your eReaders.

Must. Garner. Agent.

I had queried an agent that I thought sounded PERFECT for this project, she’s semi-cynical, but fun, and just reading her blog I knew our personalities would mesh. That is very important because I can’t have an agent, and she can’t have me as a client, if we don’t get each other. She’s going to be like my BFF, boss, Psychiatrist, the person who hangs up on me and the person who fish-slaps me back to reality for the next (God willing) 10-20 years. 

Its like a marriage of sorts when you set up a long-term Agent relationship.  Or so I'm told, I would like to find out.

About seven weeks ago I sent her a pretty nicely crafted query for my MS and in her auto responder it specifically says that if it’s been more than six weeks to go ahead and nudge her with a re-query.

Okay now I’m a little nervous. I’ve never done that before. Most agents say that if you don’t hear from them there’s pretty much a reason for it. Yeah, you know the reason. But I knew from the start this Agent was a little different – like I said, kind of like me which is why I was drawn to her to begin with. Plus she handles Chick Lit. Plus we’re similar in age so that 10-20 year thing could actually be a reality.

So basically I don’t want to go and fuck it up now. I don’t want to not re-query and have my letter out in the abyss, but at the same time what if she sent me back a form rejection the first time? And then she simply forwards that without so much as a personalized 'sorry you didn't get my hell no the first time'.  Could my poor little recoculous Writer’s ego take that kind of a hit when I’m already planning what kind of basket I’ll send her to thank her once we’re on the shelf at B&N or wherever?

Ugh.

I’m going to do it, and I’m just going to get it out of the way right now. I’m going to trust my gut instinct and send out what I feel to be right. And then if nothing else at least I can say I didn’t sacrifice who I am just to get this project off the ground floor. But I can still keep my fantasies of celebrating our birthdays together over a cup of tea as we laugh about how we became rich and famous together.

And I promise, I’ll keep the cursing to a minimum.

In the query at least.