Saturday, October 9, 2010

Tired Worn Out and Exhausted Never Felt So Good

Life. Sometimes it’s a motherfucker huh? Yeah sorry, I know it’s a little early on a Saturday for a lot of you to read that kind of language so my advice is to come back later and finish up. I really can’t promise it won’t get worse from here.

This isn’t going to be a ‘bitching about everything going on in my life’ post though, on the contrary, I’m kind of in the best mood that I’ve been in a very long time. It’s more about irony. And why, while I love the concept of it, the reality sucks when it happens.

Huh. That kind of defines irony I guess, doesn’t it? How ironic.

I feel like one thing gets under control, hell in my case it’s about four, and life is going great but then BLAM!!, I get hit upside the head with the proverbial curve ball that promptly throws something else out of whack.

So what’s actually under control right now you may ask?

Matt and I started working out about 2 weeks ago doing the very popular at home program P90X. Talk about intense, with six days on and only one day off to rest and stretch my body has been beat to shit. And then after you’re beaten and bloody lying in the middle of your yoga mat, Tony whips you some more and asks you to love it. But I do love it. In fact its starting to get to the place where I can’t wait for Matt to get home at night so we can get to our workout because even though it kills me, by the end of the hour I feel lighter both physically and mentally. Clarity is my new best friend.

The manuscript I started for NaNoWriMo last year is, to my satisfaction, 100% finished now. After a whole slew of editing and help from various people reading it and giving me feedback, I am confident that it is now complete and ready to be published. This isn’t trivial to me so I do feel a little guilty plunking it in the middle of this post, like all it deserves for acknowledgement is a teeny paragraph and no fanfare. I know it is a huge accomplishment to have even written the 230 pages. (That’s why I’m starting it all over again in 23 days. I guess it’s just my career so I don’t necessarily feel like I deserve a big medal or anything; Matt doesn’t get a parade when he finishes a file.)

My brainstorm notebook has been filling up with all kinds of interesting stuff lately, and while I do have a few blurbs for writing the next novel, my inspirations lately have revolved around stuff to sew. This is good because with the FUMC Craft Fair on Saturday November 13 in Melrose, I need as much as I can get! I’ve pretty much abandoned handbags in favor of fun wall art, holiday ornaments and home décor (like pillows & placemats). Of course the threads to make all this loot are still coming out of my reclaimed stash so I’ll still feel all eco.

Yeah that’s about where it ends for feeling reigned in. Okay so maybe its just three things that are really under control. But in getting this stuff together, a lot of other stuff has seemed to go askew.

Working out is wonderful and I’m sure after a couple months of hard core exercise my body is going to begin to adapt but both of us falling asleep on the sofa at like ten o’clock every night (or earlier) doesn’t do much for the sex life. Yeah, that’s all I’m gonna say about that. In addition it means less time out with family or friends because I’m not going out for a pizza anymore and on a Friday night when I should be out laughing it up, I have to prioritize my workout first which leaves a very teeny window before that 10:00 cut off for tiredness.

Writing and editing a full length Chick Lit novel is great and all but so many other venues got shut down in the process. I’m certainly slack on blogging and reading other’s blogs which definitely pisses me off, especially with my long time bloggy friends. And I do consider those people my friends so there’s a nagging annoyance there. Plus I kind of miss writing my other blog. Sometimes.

Preparing to sell my wares in a public forum always causes my energy to have to shift from something else. In this case it has been practicing drums. I sit at my desk and stare at them feeling like time just slips away before I even have a minute to sit and make music. Paying my instructor to teach me the same shit over and over again is a waste of my money and his time. Period.

I do miss keeping up with my friends and family but I guess that’s what Facebook is for now. We can quickly peek into each other’s lives instead of spending hours on the phone or shoving greasy, expensive food down our throat at some restaurant right? And with writing I guess I just don’t care if I keep GLR going forever. It’s just a blog and frankly I’d rather throw my attention on this one. This one is so much more ‘me’. And the fair? The fair is temporary so I know that the drums will once again ring out in short order.

So what can I do? I guess the short answer is I have no freaking clue. Really, I don’t. I know it might sound weird but even though I’m having all of this stuff fall off the back end of life, the things that have taken over are more exciting and dynamic to me than any of that other stuff that seems to be slacking off.

Except the sex. Yeah. I guess it’s just a good thing that I enjoy snuggling too.

7 comments:

Almost Precious said...

I admire you for starting and sticking with a vigorous exercise regime, very impressive.

Seems the modern world has become too complex, too complicated, so much to do and only 24 hours in the day to get it done ... impossible to do, unless one gives up sleeping.
You've got to just continue listening to your heart as you prioritize life; which is what I've been in deep transcendental meditation about too. Is etsy worth it ? If so do I really only want to sell supplies? Jewelry is over saturated, how can I possible keep my head up above the waves of hundreds of thousands of other jewelry designers? To get noticed I have to do a ton of social networking on the internet ... but then when the hell do I have time to sit down and create jewelry ??? Yeah, sort of know the feeling !

RL is definitely you, it's your voice, your feelings, your soul. GRL is a great blog, but it does require researching and testing and then all the standard hype that any blog needs to become recognized and to stay there; slack off for a short break and followers begin dropping out like fall leaves on a northern maple. I'm sure you'll get it all figured out in a way that feel right for you. Until then keep the ink flowing. ;)

ginger said...

i've been struggling for balance lately too. whenever a whole bunch of stuff hits it always throws a person out of whack for awhile. you'll balance it and everything will feel normal after awhile. i think you're having a moment of random lunacy right now. :)

and i think you've convinced me that i need to get a new facebook account. i don't miss facebook at all, but i do miss keeping in contact with certain friends. it is a great way to keep in touch even when you're too busy.

good luck with nanowrimo this year and i really am interested in seeing the wall art. is any of it on etsy yet?

the wv is banco. that means you get to go put a butt load of money in the banco soon!

Bridgete said...

Even though the workout is kicking your ass now, I bet if you give it some time, your body will start to adapt and you won't be flat out exhausted at 10 pm. You'll get that balance back. ♥

pastrywitch said...

I have no idea what this workout program is - I'll have to look it up. It sounds rough.
Trying to get all the bits of life balanced...yeah. Chef Brandon used to say "One day, we will make everybody happy. At the same time. This is not that day."
I want to see the wall art too.

Joan said...

I feel so much better mentally when I exercise. My head feels lighter. :) I walk and do some of the "old time" excercises at home, but my sister and I are going to start a Pilates class next week. It will probably kick our butts too!
Always good to have new things in our lives. It keeps us going. :)

Bree said...

A review for PS90X! I've been waffling between it and Insanity (i'm going to buy one or the other) and can't make up my mind. I saw a National Novel Month poster up on campus last week and thought of you and Kate immediately! So awesome, so jealous. Keep truckin', lady!

draagonfly said...

Ehhh sex is overrated. Absence makes the heart (or other organs) grow fonder anyway, right? :)

Sounds like you've got it going on girl. What's not to like? You are getting way more done than me so I bow to your superior ability to focus!