Friday, October 20, 2017

Makeup Your Mind Cover Reveal

Ha! I fooled everyone (including myself) and actually managed to get a new post up before the “here’s my new book, go buy it now!!!” post.

Of course, this one is still about the book so take it for what it’s worth.

But who isn’t excited, right? It’s the cover reveal for Makeup Your Mind!

This will be basically short and sweet today, there’s still so much to do before November to get the book done -- final proofread, uploaded to Library of Congress, added for pre-order on Amazon, marketing…

Though, this is my favorite part of the process.

The story is solid. Manuscript finalized. Characters living in their own lane. Fully developed and ready to greet the world. But still reserved for very few sets of eyes. Very few readers.

These are the final minutes before the general public has the opportunity to tear my writing apart.

Funny, though, I’m usually more panicked at this stage than the day I get an email from Amazon that the book has gone live. It makes no sense but I worry that the book will never make it to published. Like I said, makes no sense because it isn’t like the publishing part is out of my hands.

Writesy Press, LLC is a one-woman operation, after all.

Me. I’m that woman, just in case that wasn’t clear.

So, why in the hell I worry about not publishing the book I just finished writing (the one I wrote so I could publish it), is ludicrous. But it happens every time.

At first I thought it was fear over those scathing comments from the public but now, on my tenth title,I don’t think that’s it at all. Truly, I think maybe I’m just a crazy person who puts too much pressure on myself to make things look and feel like a professionally produced book that I worry I’ll realize ten things I didn’t do the moment I hit that publish button.

Procrastinator. Perfectionist. Producer. Someday I’ll have to write a memoir how those three characteristics can live inside one writer.

But that day is not today.

Today is the day when I stop rambling and do what I said I’d do at the beginning of the post – reveal the cover art for Makeup Your Mind!


What do you think?

And, yes, I know asking that question leaves the cover open to public critique and mockery. But I’m in love with the cover so, frankly, bring it on if you’ve got something to say. I’m not a-scared.

I’m too excited.

• • • • • • • • • • •
In addition to this drivel I also write books, both fiction and non-fiction.
Learn more on my author page.

Monday, September 25, 2017

Updates from the Work and Life Front

It seems the more I write (books), the less I have time to write (blogs). But I guess that’s nothing new over in these parts. Ten years into this blogging life and the only constant has been that I never abandon this space entirely.

And that’s enough for me right now. Something has to fall by the wayside when other things require more time.

Not forever but for now.

With a couple hours to fill today (say what?), it seemed like the right time to reflect and get a new post going.

So, what are my updates, you may ask?

You did ask that, right?

Okay, well, where do I start? I guess the biggest news is the writing that has me not writing over here.

I’m getting really excited for my next release. With final feedback coming in from my Beta Babes on Makeup Your Mind, I should hit my November release date with ease. Next up, the final editing process.

These are the weeks where the story polish is applied and then I get to write stuff like jacket copy, ad blurbs, and other marketing material. But that’s not why I’m excited.

I truly can’t wait for everyone to read Cherry’s story. She’s one of my favorite characters I’ve ever written. And I’m not just saying that because she’s the star of the next book coming out. Nope. I honestly think she’s so much fun.

She’s the girl/woman I aspired to be in my early twenties: unapologetic for her choices. I love her.

In other book news, I released 30 Chapters in 30 Days: Write a 50,000 word first draft without feeling blocked earlier this month. You can click the title to learn more but this one is a helpful guide to whipping up big word count even when you don’t have words to write.

Specifically geared for fiction authors and aspiring authors, I’m happy to report this book has actually made it into the top 300 on Amazon for Self-help Creativity, the top 400 in Education & Reference, and the top 500 in Writing Skills!

WOO HOO!!!

For many years I dreamed of being published but never took the first step – writing the damn book. I mean, without a book you don’t have a book to publish. And yeah, I know that sounds all ‘Captain Obvious’ but it’s astounding how many would-be authors talk about wanting to be published without ever having finished a book.

I was one of them, until the day I decided to finish the thing I started. No matter how good or bad it was, I would type The End on a fully fleshed out story. It took me 28 years to get there from the days when I first started writing, but I haven’t stopped releasing work since.

So, now that I’m about to release my tenth title in November it seemed like the right time to take all that experience and help another writer. If even one aspiring author uses the book as a tool to push through until they type The End, then I will be the happiest gal around!

Last month I was interviewed by Pat for Speak Up Talk Radio and the interview was a complete blast. It was really cool to do my first radio interview and the experience inspired me to reach out for more networks and podcasts.

I definitely want to start spreading the word about my books in a major way. You know me. All about the shameless self-promotion. (Tell your friends!)

And in the spirit of promo, I’m going to be the featured artist in an upcoming week of The Foothills Focus. That will be a fun one. I’ve gone back and read a bunch of Shea Stanfield’s articles and look forward to how she helps me tell my writing story.

And thus ends work updates.

Two weeks ago, Matt and I went on a whirlwind road trip spanning from Phoenix to Carson City, NV, and just about everywhere in between. Within an hour of hitting the road I got inspired for Shaw McLeary’s next book.

Like I said on Facebook, leave it to a writer to continue working even when they are supposed to be on a relaxing vacation. Story of my life. And I wouldn’t change it for a second!

Literally, can hardly contain myself to start writing that one but I will wait. I have to. Sorta. But don’t think that doesn’t mean I won’t engage in a little note taking over the next couple months to get that book started in the back of my mind. But, there are others to finish before I start a new one.

Okay, now, I’m done with work updates.

Life and work do tend to bleed into one living thing as a writer. Sometimes it’s hard to separate the two.

But anyway…

Vacation.

I posted some pictures on Facebook but for those of you who I’m not friends with over there, here’s a random sampling of photos on each stop of our journey. It rocked.

Kingman


Hoover Dam


Lake Mead


Las Vegas


Lake Tahoe


Yosemite


Bodie, CA


Road home


Over 2,000 miles spent driving to celebrate fifteen years of married bliss. Great times!

And now that I’m done with the life/work update from last month…

Who thinks I’ll get more than one post up before the next book release” post?

I’m not betting on it.

• • • • • • • • • • •
In addition to this drivel I also write books, both fiction and non-fiction.
Learn more on my author page.

Friday, August 25, 2017

Strong Women are my Spirit Animal

Since I was a kid, I’ve been a fan of ladies who operate from a ‘kick ass and have no fear’ mentality. Women who aren’t afraid to take risks to get what they want, need. Sometimes that meant the woman was an activist, sometimes it meant she risked her reputation, other times her life.

Those were the women I looked up to. Those women didn’t take no for an answer, didn’t let anything stop them from going after their true calling. They were, and are, about as bad-ass as I could imagine and take a lot of shit because of their spirit. But who says bad-ass is a bad thing?

Because, how does that quote go again? Oh yeah…

“Well-behaved women seldom make history.” 
– Laurel Thatcher Ulrich.

And really, who wants to be ‘well-behaved’ anyway?

Some of my earliest interest in how much a woman can do came from women who threw caution to the wind. Dove head first into their feisty soul and made zero apologies.

Joan of Arc, Rosa Parks, Harriet Tubman, Madonna, Emily Dickinson.

And, me? I’m here living a simple life, far outside the realm of extremes that my heroines faced in their lives and careers. I’m just a girl publishing some books in a time when girls are allowed to publish books, work for themselves. Because that’s my soul. My calling.

Every time I take on a new challenge and complete it, face a fear and conquer it, I hope to inch one step closer to bad-ass. In my own way.

I feel like I’ve come a long way from the girl who scribbled, incessantly, in a journal, never releasing a single word to the world. The girl who feared and let it stop her from taking work-life by the balls.

As of a few years ago I would shake at the thought of standing up in front of the women’s writers group I belong to and giving just a 30 second introduction. I was so afraid of public speaking, in fact, that it took me well over six months before I forced myself to stand up and talk at all.

Now I take the mic every time I'm there and have some interesting tid-bit of my writing life to share.

Am I still nervous? Hell yes. I always feel like a socially and professionally awkward mess because even when I prepare the words seem to vanish as soon as I rise. But I do it anyway because fear is just an emotion.

Then there was last week. My career took a new and exciting turn as I was interviewed for a podcast for the first time.

Radio. My voice. Many, many people potentially listening to what I had to say.

And I didn’t get advance copies of the questions.

Gulp.

But I sent her some items I definitely wanted to talk about and she worked off my author bio and books as a basis for her questions. Not only that but Pat was a master interviewer. Smooth, no awkward pausing, follow up comments, excellent questions.

It was like the half hour ended in a minute. At the end of it, I tried to remember everything I’d said. Because, you know I over-analyze. But as my mind went over my responses I had something happen that rarely happens to me.

I felt good about the interview.

Maybe it was running on pure adrenaline, perhaps it was my desire to lead my work into the consciousness of a larger market (finally), or a combination of both but I felt like I got all the points across and not in my usual Boston speed-speak.

It just felt, right.

When Pat sent me the link, not gonna lie, I waited a few days before I had the courage to listen. Matt said he wanted to check it out. Family had encouraged me beforehand. I knew they wanted to hear it too.

Still, I considered not sharing it at all.

But then I thought back to five years ago. Five years ago I was in the midst of putting finishing touches on Reckless Abandon. Five years ago I’d already self-published my first title and was getting ready to release my second.

I didn’t let my inner critic stop me that time.

So I wouldn’t let it stop me this time either.

I clicked on that link and, as I listened to myself, the same feeling I had after recording washed over me. It wasn’t rambling. It wasn’t incoherent. I actually sounded okay.

Again, though, questions arise. Did doing this podcast cure me of the fear of my recorded voice? No. Did it cure me of nerves? Hell no. But will I do something like this again?

Hells to the yes.

Just like those first two books I wrote so many years ago, this interview isn’t perfect but that doesn’t matter. It was fun, challenging, and super cool I got to talk about my work so a bunch of total strangers might discover a book they just have to read.

Liberating and scary all rolled into one 33:07 segment.

So, it’s true I’m not helping to free slaves, taking a stand against discrimination, setting new standards for females embracing their own sexuality, but to me, advancing my career in this way still feels pretty bad-ass.

If you’d like to listen, turn on your speakers and click:


• • • • • • • • • • •
In addition to this drivel I also write books, both fiction and non-fiction.
Learn more on my author page.

Tuesday, August 8, 2017

The 20 Words I Hate Related to Internet Sales

Marketing. Ugh. Am I the only one? I can’t be. I mean, if you’re a person in an online environment with a product or service to sell then you pretty much have to eat, sleep, and breath internet marketing these days. Right?

Well yippie-freaking-skippy.

It’s all just words. Shiny things strung together to entice a person into spending their hard earned dollars. And, you know I’m a person in an online world with a product to sell, but, come on.

I write books. Books that fall into pretty specific categories, genres.

Why does that matter? Because keeping someone on the line with a hook is good to get them in the boat but a minnow gets tossed back even though it was still technically considered catching a fish.

Let me put it like this, I tell people I’m an author. Every time a man asks for a business card or my information I say the following line:

“Here you go, but you should probably know you’re not my target audience.”

I’m not a person who will try to snake-oil anyone into buying something they don’t want or need because what good does that do me in the long run?

None. The answer is none.

Those people won’t be my repeat readers. They won’t promote me. They will toss that card in the trash and continue on with their lives not giving a crap that card cost me $0.09. Minnow.

But anyway, I thought I’d share some of the words and phrases related to the new age of selling that kind of make me want to hurl.

1. Strategy (Good luck getting one in a world that changes by the hour.)
2. Content (Usually of the “quality” or “fresh” variety. You mean, words?)
3. Marketing (If you can read it then it’s probably marketing.)
4. Authentic (Having to tell people you are something makes me question how true the statement really is.)
5. Tribe (No, just, no. You aren’t related, descendants. You are on the internet. You are a group or community.)
6. Sell without selling (Yeah, I’ll get right on that. See #2 & 3, right?)
7. Social networking (Essentially redundant.)
8. Quality work (See #4.)
9. Drive traffic (It’s an oxymoron and I hate it.)
10. Authority (How are you supposed to get this if you can’t tell people things without it?)
11. Monetize (This literally means to turn into money. Which literally means a website can’t perform this task.)
12. Avoid self-promotion (Screw rules. Here's some now - shameless self-promotion!)
13. Insert website here (And gasp at people who aren’t using it. Fucking hipsters. It’s already obsolete.)
14. Capture your audience (Uh, I think that’s illegal…)
15. Industry trends (You mean, like, every word/phrase written in this list?)
16. Engage (The definition of this word is: to attract. It has nothing to do with continuous back-and-forth, like people who tout their abilities in #3 want you to believe.)
17. Consistency (Density. Uniformity. Constant and unwavering adherence to a principal or action. AKA: zero flexibility.)
18. Click-bait (The marketing industry can’t make up its mind. Do you want me to click or tell people not to?)
19. Above-the-fold (This phrase has no business outside the newspaper industry. Your mouse has a scroll wheel for a reason. The internet has no fold. Except the folds of time, ever reduced every time you get onto the internet.)
20. Thoughtful posts (So subjective. Who are you to tell me if I’m being thoughtful?)

Sadly, I have to admit to using some or all of the above tactics to get my work in front of readers. 'Tis the way of the internet and the online purveyor of goods.

I would do anything for page rank.

Wait, that's still a thing, right?

• • • • • • • • • • •
In addition to this drivel I also write books, both fiction and non-fiction.
Learn more on my author page.

Friday, July 28, 2017

Some People have Cats…


I think I might have a teensy little problem. Apparently I’m a calendar and charts kind of girl.

Some people have cats, I have a white board. Or four. And a day planner. Plus a handmade paper chart. But that’s only because I ran out of room on the whiteboards!

Okay, I get it. That doesn’t exactly help my case against being a crazy cat, er, whiteboard, lady.

But, in my defense, they’re all crucial to my process.

A process that is quickly evolving into something bigger.

In other words, I’m gonna need a bigger whiteboard.

See, when I freaked out on that other post, it prompted a long, hard look at my current state of things. Then Matt and I sat down and talked about all things career. Mine. His. Where we’re both heading and what it will likely take to get us there.

He wants to see me succeed as much as I want to see me succeed so we talked about increasing my advertising/marketing/publicity budget. Okay, to be fair, we actually talked about me having a budget to begin with.

As someone who doesn’t pull in a big income every month, and someone who feels like I’m bleeding money every time I start setting up a new book for sale, I always feel weird about spending more.

But, this market of authors is quite saturated and I need to remember that every day I go to my job. I need to get my name out there. Especially as a sole proprietor trying to build a business in a creative industry. The truth is, we have to spend money to make money in this world.

Even an office worker doesn’t get paid to go to and from their job. Car repairs, gas, food during the day, all of that comes out of the money they make for the job they do. Money they spend to get to work to make money.

So I tore apart my old marketing plan and developed a new plan. A good plan, I think. Again, still green to all this promotional stuff but the plan I developed for the next six months or so should help to keep a buzz going.

Hey, even one Africanized bee buzzes, it might be quieter than a swarm but swat at it and see how long it takes for that swarm to arrive. Am I right?

I’m using that mentality to approach my revived interest in marketing.

But with all new projects comes brainstorming, scheduling, a great need for organization. Hence, the corner full of erasable marker.

Okay, I’m not ashamed to admit it - I love whiteboards!

Because anything and everything can easily wipe away in an instant. In fact, as soon as I’m done with a task for the month, week, day, I take my eraser and clean the task off my calendar.

Whoosh!

See ya!

I do that because I don’t like mental clutter and there’s plenty of that going on just having the boards up in the first place. I mean, you saw the picture in this post, right? When I can declutter my brain of looking at something I already finished, it frees me up to concentrate on the next task.

In any given day at work I rarely complete the same task two days in a row. True, I write almost every day but it isn’t even the same writing every day. Nor at the same time of day every day.

Thus, a room full of erasable surfaces.

So, the first whiteboard breaks down the current month by days and weeks.

The next is my advertising schedule and budget broken out into the next six months by week.

Below that is my big, blue, paper chart for tracking characters in my California Dreamin’ Series.

Next whiteboard is current book(s) in process (timeline, character development, general story notes) and a bunch of magnets I don’t know what to do with (plus the list of all sites where I need to update info on a new release and my list of beta readers).

Finally, I’ve got an eight month projection board where I list out all the stuff I need to do in a given month on books themselves (AKA: write it, send to betas, edit, etc.), giveaway schedules, free/other promotion schedules, and the rare days I will allow myself to completely disconnect from my job and take a damn vacation.

The day planner? That’s for personal stuff like actually making sure we leave the house occasionally (hockey, concerts), paying bills, seeing family, scheduling time with friends.

I’m ready. I’m organized. I’m maybe a bit over the top with my calendars and charts but, damn it, no scattered business owner ever made it very long. And after working out a realistic marketing and advertising budget for the next year, I fully intend to do everything I can to stick around as long as I can with my business.

Resolve renewed.

• • • • • • • • • • •
In addition to this drivel I also write books, both fiction and non-fiction.
Learn more on my author page.

Sunday, July 23, 2017

Lighten it up with some Girlie Things

So, after my last post, I kind of got the feeling like people were concerned. For my safety, specifically.

Sorry to everyone who got scared, freaked out, etc. by the things I wrote. That wasn’t my intention and I just want to say the fact you reached out means a lot. Writing is my therapy, always has been, and perhaps that’s the first time you read something in that vein over here.

I want to clear the air and reboot a little bit because the concern actually shocked me. But then I went back and re-read the post and, yeah, I can see how some folks might have been wondering about my mental state.

I’m not, however, sorry for sharing the post because it was something (is something) I felt needed off my chest and in a very publicly shared way.

You should probably know that my mental state is basically fucked all the time.

No exaggeration, I pretty much think like that most days at some point or another. A common occurrence since I was ten or eleven years old. I call it the curse of the creative.

I need to feel things. Everything. Enhanced emotions are what keep me working. When’s the last time you read a book where the characters never experienced anything? Never cried, screamed, flung their arms around the one they love to tackle them to the floor?

Exactly.

I tap into my highs and lows on a daily basis in order to craft my worlds.

Last week’s blog post was a reflection of that deep seeded personality trait bubbling up into my world. That’s all. I swear, if you pulled out my journals from any year of my life since age 14 you would be amazed at how much of that super dark shit comes out.

I don’t often share that kind of raw emotion over here but on that particular day it was something I felt I needed to do.

I’m not defending it, don’t feel I owe anyone an explanation per se but I at least wanted everyone to know that I am a-okay.

But you should also know that I still feel the same. Still frustrated, still a bit lost. But I will find my way and appreciate all the hands I have to hold on the way. Love you all!

Now, in an effort to flip-flop right over to the other side of my self-diagnosed bipolarity, I thought it would be fun to share something here that I haven’t done in a long time.

Nail art! (See ya dudes…)

I’ve been getting back into it lately, watching (read: binging like a zombie) YouTube videos about anything and everything under the sun. So last week while I was working on this manicure:


I decided to give a bunch of different styles a little practice. Since I have a silicone nail art mat I decided all of the designs would be something I could lay down to save until I did my mani this week. And it worked to create a skittle manicure (meaning all fingers are different).

I’m calling it Cohesive Color Chaos.

None of them came out perfect, far from it, but I had a lot of fun creating each of the designs, keeping an eye on the color theory of the full manicure, making sure the two hands were balanced (for example, if I did a white/teal/iridescent on one hand I did the same on the other in a different design), and learning which are my favorite techniques.

So far, I’m not a big fan of water marbling, am only a partial fan of freehand, and love stamping.

Without further ado, here’s the mani in full detail by finger then a mashup of the two hands so you can see what it looks like all together.

First, here’s the mat with most of the self-created decals laid down.


The two on my pinky fingers were supposed to be those pink and white ones but they crumbled a bit and I had to use some backups.

Now here are the nails as I see them, from left to right, starting with the pinky on my left hand.

Drag marble

Blobicure

Stamped flamingoes

Water marble with glow in the dark

Freehand sunglasses and letters

Stamped sunglasses

More attempts at water marble

Freehand flamingo with acrylic paints

Drag marble

Smoosh marble

And here are both hands side-by-side. What do you think?


Personally? I love the mani, not as thrilled with my application. Some of them are already starting to peel up in the corners (applied Saturday) and I’m sure it’s because my nails are so C curved that the decal just didn’t bond with the base coat of polish I laid down.

No biggie, I’ll keep practicing and get better at some of these techniques.

Bottom line, this fun, upbeat girl is who I am today (and every day). It’s just that some days she has to let the darkness surface.

Just like nail polish, I have to let something sucky take the lead every once in a while and share that fail with the world. Because that lets me remove the layers and get back to my natural starting point. The clean slate of my nails and my brain.

xoxo

• • • • • • • • • • •
In addition to this drivel I also write books, both fiction and non-fiction.
Learn more on my author page.

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Contract Extension

Did you know I’ve been doing this full-time writing thing for five years? That’s right, five whole years have expired into the abyss of stringing letters together, directly under my fingertips.

My first (and presently, only) novel, Ripple the Twine, dropped in 2012. My first born. My baby. Also, my problem child.

Because that book is awful but it became the foundation I built my career on top of like a card house in a tornado.

I rushed it into production and publishing because I wanted to get it out there. And I got it out there to so many people. People who promptly judged my abilities. And, in the eyes of the general public, those abilities sucked.

I’d been working on the thing since NaNoWriMo in 2009. Three years of character and story development.

Three years of forcing something I’d never done before – typing The End on a full-length story.

And, quite honestly, I was tired of looking at it. Tired of thinking about it. Tired of trying to make it perfect because I didn’t have a freaking clue how to do that and was too broke to hire the help I needed to make it better.

I didn’t know how to edit a book. Because I’d never done it before. I didn’t know that nobody wants to read a story with no real purpose other than to tell a story. That characters need extra motivation these days. And by extra I mean that telling a story about four people simply living a snippet of their lives isn’t enough anymore.

That first kisses are out and bondage is in. That cute and sweet equates to snooze and forget. How was I supposed to know that a girl falling in love just doesn’t carry a story these days?

It’s boring. It’s not enough punch to force anyone to want to read it. People want action, drama, challenges that write a writer into a corner they have to force their characters to claw their way out of because it’s the only way to survive.

Sex. Murder. Controversy.

No matter how many sharks are leapt over in the process.

People don’t want to read cute stories about tomboys and their random friends.

At least, not the one I wrote. Because, I’ll say it again, the book is awful.

Ripple needed about two more rounds of professional edits, a different lead character, and three (read: 11) shots of vodka if it was ever going to do the thing I wanted it to do.

Which, if you’ve been reading my blog for more than a minute, you know that “thing” was: propel me into a full-time career as a book writer.

Okay, to be fair I am working full-time as a book writer. So maybe that’s the wrong choice of words.

What I meant to say is: Ripple needed to propel me into an agented life of glamourous Hollywood parties that I was invited to simply because I wrote the book of the century.

Okay, I’m literally laughing at myself. That’s a stretch even by my deluded standards of how awesome and relevant I am to the entertainment world.

But I did think someone with some kind of clout would read it, review it, love it, and start telling their friends so I’d be able to write books for a living. That, out of the BILLIONS of people on the planet I might be able to find, like, 50,000 super fans who would gobble up everything I’ve ever written.

That’s literally only like .008% of the entire world’s population or some other math equation that, when written out with words, equates to fucking tiny in the grand scheme.

With a tiny number of fans (read: huge to me), I could MAKE A LIVING at my long-hours, mental bullshit, trapped alone most of the time, career.

What I failed to factor about my plan for glory is that the book sucked. I knew it. Friends and family (sweet as they were about telling me they enjoyed it) knew it.

I wasn’t getting “famous” on that piece of crap.

So, what did I do?

I went and wrote another book. Duh. Because that’s what book writers do when faced with a terrible book. They just keep writing.

And my second child was a much better book.

A book with murder, mayhem, tension, both plot and sexual.

One with a broken-hearted but still slightly rational female main character, tossed (by page three) into a totally irrational and heart-pounding situation.

And, not to entirely toot my own horn or anything but, Reckless Abandon is a good fucking book. Finally, I had written the thing I wanted to write all along. A good book. A marketable book. A book that would bust open a series. One that could sustain my writing life for years to come.

That book also dropped in 2012. So, as far as I’m concerned, we can all just forget about the first book and pretend Abandon is book one, right?

Because, after writing and releasing that book I made a promise to myself. Hell, I developed an entire business plan around a promise to myself.

I was giving myself five years and then, if things didn’t show signs of major traction, I would go back to writing as a “cute little hobby” instead of a career and go get a soul-sucking job.

Because, you know, bills don’t go away just because a girl has a dream.

Reality is, I can’t afford to have dreams now.

October marks five years since Abandon hit the market.

Shit.

Here I am, three months away from my self-imposed deadline for glory and where am I at?

Well, truth told I feel like something is happening. I mean, for the past 17 or so months I’ve made a royalty every single month. So that’s something, right?

Is it paying the mortgage? Hell no.

But is it more realistic than my delusion back on April 21, 2012 when I envisioned opening my email to a notice that thousands of copies of my first book magically sold overnight?

Hell yes.

But, because I want to make a real living as a writer a few things have been bugging me lately.

First, I still don’t know how to do any of this shit aside from the writing.

Talking about marketing of course.

And, truth be told, that's really the only thing bugging me right now. I’ve been blogging here for ten years this October but what has it gotten me besides therapy? Is it moving my career forward? I don’t think so. And all the marketing pros would tell me that means every time I write a post I’m wasting time.

So what should I be doing instead, then, huh?

I’ve tried putting myself out there on all the social networks and connecting to people who might be my readers (fail), tried starting a writing-advice-by-writers-for-writers business with a fellow writer (fail), tried amping up the advice on my website (fail, see a trend?).

And I came to quickly realize that I suck at all that shit too. Because, just like my books, I don’t know how to tell people about any of it. At least, not the right people. I don’t know how to get it out there.

Yet I just keep wasting time doing it all as if in some magical universe somehow it all makes any kind of difference. Like a stupid dreamer.

It’s funny. I know people (AKA: authors who actually make a living as writers) would be horrified to read this post – “oh my god what a whiny bitch complaining that she gets to live a life as a full-time writer and telling people all this truth about her life and career, doesn’t she know you’re supposed to fake it until you make it these days?”

To a point, I agree. However, the only people who actually read this blog are the four people in my family who already know all of this shit anyway so I seriously doubt anyone will gasp in surprise at my admissions.

Anyway, there’s another new title releasing in September – 30 Chapters in 30 Days and then I’ll wrap up this year with the 3rd book in my California Dreamin’ Series hitting shelves in late November.

After that, I’m just not sure what to do anymore.

I’ve been writing so long it’s a personality trait so the likelihood of entirely giving it up is slim. But I can’t work this many hours a week for free anymore. I just can’t. My worth as a person, a human, is waning big time with every minute I bang my head against the keyboard so I can rejoice at my $2.76 royalty check at the end of the month.

This is literally not fulfilling.

Because the writing isn’t the thing I’m bad at. It’s promoting the writing. It’s selling the books. But I don’t know how to do it so I’m definitely stuck.

I’d love to ask everyone to tell their friends, review my books, but, again, the four people who read this blog have already done that in SPADES and I love them for it like I can’t even express. But that doesn’t get me 50,000 super fans.

That doesn’t make this a career. It makes this a very long break from reality.

I literally don’t know what to do with myself if I’m not going to be a writer. And that might sound like drama but it’s true. Nothing ever made me feel like I was doing the right thing before.

The problem is that all those other things paid me to be their bitch. And I really like to eat, have a roof over my head, all that shit that a person actually needs money for in this real world.

I honestly don’t mean this to be a pity party, it isn’t like that, more of an affirmation that I’m giving myself a year extension. If I don’t see major (I mean fucking MAJOR) improvement in my writing to income ratio by next fall then I might just release this dream and be done with it all.

Because, sometimes, dreams are just stupid.

• • • • • • • • • • •
In addition to this drivel I also write books, both fiction and non-fiction.
Learn more on my author page.

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Tiny Little Victories

So, I’m having one of those days today where everything seems to take more effort than it should.

You know the kind, where you pick up a pen, drop it, pick it up again, drop it again, and it rolls out of reach under the sofa. Then, by the time you retrieve it (with the end of the broom handle you had to retrieve from wherever it lives), you forgot what you wanted to write anyway.

Yeah.

But then I went out to pick up groceries and the gal at the deli counter called me Miss!

Miss!!!

I haven’t been a Miss in ages.

I’ve been firmly living in Ma’am land for at least the last six or seven years now. But today, after the morning of internal chaos forcing me to be gangly and awkward, I became a Miss again.

If only for that one moment, leaving the house today was totally worth it.

And I’m sure that was a big part of why I was a disaster this morning – I didn’t want to leave the house for errands.

Because yesterday I clocked in another 3,000+ words in my new manuscript and I was feeling particularly ready to write this morning. But then there’s that pesky thing called life where I won’t write too much without food.

And if you know me you know I’m not one of those writers who lives on coffee and cigarettes. Bleh. Even in the days when I was a smoker and drank coffee non-stop there was always, always, food in my life.

I eat, like, five times a day. So grocery shopping was a necessary evil because all that consumption leads to an empty fridge eventually.

But, if I waited, ordered a pizza, ate panko crumbs on peanut butter just to survive (the last 2 things in the house, seriously), and gone shopping tomorrow, I may never have been a Miss.

And now I’m back home, ready to blow out another huge word day, but I can’t seem to force myself to work on this new book. 

Because I'm a Miss! And it’s been a hot minute since I’ve posted a blog. After the morning I had, it felt like the right time to catch you all up on the doings around here.

I’ve had a super busy spring / it’s-already-summer-in-Phoenix.

At least this post isn’t three months since my last blog (like my last blog post was), but it has been two solid months of living life, seeing people, doing stuff, typing words.

I’m also getting back into nail art and picked up some supplies to make designs that are more fun and artsy. Which is good because I’d been wearing tan nude nails every week for somewhere near four months.

Over it, time for fun again!

Doing something to my nails (on the regular) started back in junior high school. I’d use markers, polish, whatever I could get my hands on to put color and design on the tips of my fingers. I even used my ballpoint pen to dot flowers onto my pinky finger.

And I didn’t care what color I used as long as there was some color at the ends of my hands. When I was a kid it wasn’t “cool” to use black, navy blue or other colors considered freaky.

I used them.

Because they’re colors. I mean, why was red or pink okay but not black? Why did wearing black nail polish make people think of me as a certain type of person? That shit just never made sense to me and I’d think about it while I slathered shiny blue polish on every other fingernail.

These days I’m trying brushes, sponges, vinyl decals, creating my own decals, acrylic painting, and stamping to get some fun designs going on. And it’s so relaxing to sit and paint for a couple hours without the need for climbing a ladder.

Tiny little canvases. I love it.

Aside from nail art, I released a book, the 2nd in my California Dreamin’ Series: Alternate Plans. I won’t go into great detail on the book here. You can click on the title and read all about it over on Amazon if you’re so inclined.

Already read it? Then while you’re over there checking out the link, please leave me a review!

Reviews are the lifeblood of authors on Amazon and I’d be forever grateful for your honest feedback. All reviews are awesome because they help me write better books the next time. So, go, review one of my books right now!

Thanks 😍

In the midst of work and life, Matt and I even managed to take an extended vacation for the first time in almost a year. We started out with friends in Temecula, California on a wine weekend of debauchery, madness, and so much fun.

From there we drove up the coast to San Francisco, back down to Big Sur (as far as possible due to the coastal highway being washed out), inland to Paso Robles, back out to the coast (just below the closure), and wound down the entire coast to San Diego before driving home.

It was freaking awesome!

It had been ages since we took a long road trip and it was so much fun to get out, take pictures, reconnect, see the beach. Can’t wait to do it again. Soon.

But, for now, I’ll be finalizing the next book release slated for September (30 Chapters in 30 Days, a writer’s inspiration for getting big word count down in a month or less), and working on this new California Dreamin’ Series book.

And something tells me my main character (who is 44 this year) will get to experience the joys of being called a Miss for the first time in years.

Then again, maybe I’ll just keep that little joy all for myself.

• • • • • • • • • • •
In addition to this drivel I also write books, both fiction and non-fiction.
Learn more on my author page.