Monday, April 8, 2013

Golden Opportunity

Today’s post comes with some visual aide. These pictures are of my dress, shoes and bag that I’ll be rocking at the end of the month when D and her fiancé fly out to Arizona to get married on the south rim of the Grand Canyon. And they’re doing it at sunset. It is sure to be spectacular.

The odyssey of finding just the right pair of shoes took me the better part of an entire shopping day to track down. Between the mall and a few other freestanding stores I must have scoured the racks in fifteen places. Of course I found them, and the bag, in the last store I intended to shop at that day. Oh well, at least I got them. And on sale to boot, score!

The real reason it was so complicated was because it’s a wedding so they needed to be somewhat dressy (especially considering the dress) but the wedding is taking place on top of rocks and dirt at the edge of the Grand Canyon so they had to be durable enough to withstand that. And I wanted at least a little shoe around my foot because in April the Canyon at sunset is going to be mighty chilly on my little piggies. It was fun explaining this to sales people all day and watching their faces read “um…yeah, good luck with that.”

I should probably confess that I haven’t stepped foot inside a shoe store (hello, Aldo my old friend) or even a mall for that matter in a very long time. After the Springfield debacle I’ve been like the Gestapo over our finances. You know, to ensure that we have some. But of late Matt and I have both been pawing through our respective wardrobes only to realize we haven’t updated them in close to a decade. And it’s really starting to show.

Really, it got so bad for a while there I actually considered rocking a jean jacket with jeans like 1992 hadn’t called for their very bad fashion choice back.

So every month for the past few months I’ve been slowly but surely turning over my wardrobe. But because I’ve also started working out again I didn’t want to go and pay Dillard’s prices for something that I know for a fact will be too big on me in six months to a year. That fact alone had me combing through the racks at all the local thrift shops for that perfect thing that will look good on my current body shape and show off my best assets while still staying budget friendly since it may end up replaced soon.

Don’t get me wrong, I love thrift shopping – the hunt, the thrill of the find, the dust bunnies rolling around a big warehouse sized building stuffed to the gills with items other people cast aside – but there’s that former retail worker side of me that still thinks

“I love the smell of commerce in the morning!”

So when the time came to start hunting down the right outfit for a Matron of Honor in a second wedding at a truly breathtaking but sketchy-footed destination, I knew the mall was the place I wanted to start. And here’s what I learned by shopping in the mall on a late morning mid-week:

*        No one shops in the mall during the late morning mid-week. Well, close to no one. The place was as inactive as the mall in Mallrats.
*        Directories seem to be a thing of the past. I saw two in the whole place and our mall is pretty big. I guess there’s probably an app for that.
*        Shoes have gotten bufugly. Seriously, can’t I buy SOMETHING other than 4” stripper heels or gladiator sandals? What happened to the slides? The mules? The kitten heels? Thankfully I didn’t see a single sneaker peep-toe pump which means that awful trend has phased out but what the fuck is up with this:

Or this?

Or most of all, this leg breaker?

I guess art-as-shoe, wood veneer, and whatever the hell that disc is under shoe 3 are technically something other than only-a-stripper-can-walk-in-them heels and gladiators-don’t-even-look-good-in-them sandals so I shouldn’t complain. But these aren’t haute couture, they’re on sale in multiple different sizes at DSW. Maybe I’m officially considered old now because I just don’t get it.

So when I found my adorable satin heels and the sparkly disco ball-esque clutch at DSW (after spending more time fascinated with the sculptural art in front of me than the actual wearability of the shoes in the store), I secretly thanked the other old ladies out there who understand that not everyone wants to be sky-high or wielding a lance.

Posted for April 2013 A to Z Blog Challenge G is for Golden Opportunity

All shoes can be found at DSW 


Launna said...

I am SO with you Jenn.... I try to keep current (classy current). Those shoes are not classy at all...

I'm glad you found your shoes and the clutch is pretty too:-D

Kathe W. said...

I cannot believe what these morons who design shoes are thinking....really?? Does anyone wear these ankle breakers?
I love your golden your heels a few times and you might get home lickity split! Have a great day!

#1Nana said...

Now that I have the time to shop, I have no need to expand my may be the only downside to being retired.

What a lovely location for a wedding...we expect pics!

Jak Cryton said...

Hey, Mallrats was filmed here in MN :) while that mall was either being built or revamped. I can't remember which.

Also, those fucked up blue shoes... I think a friend of mine just bought a pair of those. Everyone at the coffee shop and bar, thereafter, were asking her about them lol

Hope the wedding is awesome! Expecting tons of pics :) Even of you and yer boo! Make it so!

Jak at The Cryton Chronicles & Dreams in the Shade of Ink

Karen said...

Haha... so true. The shoes are so ugly and I have no clue how anybody actually walks in some of these. Love the red dress (my fave color). A wedding at the GC will be lovely.

Karen Goltz said...

Because of my foot problems I've trended towards 'fugly' shoes (functional-but-ugly) for the past decade. But it's getting harder to find those, as shoe designers seem to have dropped the 'functional' aspect and just gone for all-out ugly. My recent nightmare was trying to find a pair of simple black leather one-inch-heels to wear with a grey power suit for a potential job interview. Who knew it would take me digging through the racks in more than half a dozen stores to find such a simple shoe? As it was I ended up with two-inch-heels, because the one-inch simply were not to be found!

I love the red and gold, by the way!

Jenn Flynn-Shon said...

Thanks Launna, yeah both of them were calling my name from the rack!

I think the shapes are quite interesting, some really funky stuff to be sure, but who can WALK in those? And isn't that the purpose of a shoe? I mean, hello? I'd rather see them on display in a museum!

Jenn Flynn-Shon said...

Right? I just do not get it! Not sure if you watch SNL but Melissa McCarthy did her opening monoloue in these crazy heeled red shoes this past weekend and all I could think was this post. She was hilarious trying to get around in these 6" heels and 2" platform. I love me some heels and all but I also like preserving my ankles from breakage!

Jenn Flynn-Shon said...

Yeah I know what you mean, seeing as though I work from home there are far fewer occassions when I need to be out of sweats. But even my sweats are looking pretty sad these days so it was time to pick up a few pieces.

I'll definitely post pictures eventually!

Jenn Flynn-Shon said...

Guess its cool to have your clothing become the center of conversation. Though lots of people would be talking about her if she sprained her ankle trying to walk in them too. Like I said, guess I'm old because I just don't get it.

Pictures to follow once they get married later this month!

Jenn Flynn-Shon said...

Thanks Karen, can't wait for this wedding! The dress is really form fitting so I'll be out looking for a Spanx slip this week!

I mean who wants to wear a shoe made out of cork veneer? Cork. The stuff I pin my notes to or put down on my kitchen floor is now part of shoe design? Wonder how those would fly on a job site? haha

Jenn Flynn-Shon said...

Seriously, I don't understand why no one is allowed to be comfortable anymore. I'm so sorry for your shoe debacle as well, it seems we folks who like function are SOL these days. But just like all fads this too shall pass. If there was one thing I learned while in Design school its that function shouldn't follow form but the other way around.

Besides, I think there's a huge difference between functional shoes that alleviate body strain issues and just outright bufugly shoes that do nothing but encourage designs even more outrageous than the last. I like Lady Gaga too but you won't catch me wearing her clothes anytime soon.

JudisJems said...

Apart from the fact that I actually like the look of shoe #2, I couldn't agree more! The way to stop them from making the uncomfortable shoes, or anything else, is not to buy them. But so many sheeple have to keep up with the trends.

Love the outfit, you will look mahvelous! and with fairly comfortable feet, too!!!

Love you, Mum

Jenn Flynn-Shon said...

Yeah mum I like the style of the second shoe too but I can't help but think about having to poly the thing in order to go out in the rain and I just couldn't ever bring myself to wear it!