Saturday, December 8, 2012

The Best Laid (Up) Plans

Never fails right? Career plans get made, actions are being taken, things start looking like they could shift for the better financially and then boom! Some random health symptoms that even Doctor House can't explain move in just in time to fuck it all up. Thanks body, that was so very nice of you. Jackwagon.

Guess I'm at the anger stage now.

I know that its possible I was moving too quickly, doing too much for my own good and I needed to slow down. And its pretty likely this had to happen to ensure that I took a breather. I get that. But breather taken, its so time to get back to my life again. I miss being able to work for more than 3 hours a day without feeling lightheaded and I miss the time when I could drink coffee or a beer without my body staging a revolution.

No coffee in well over a week, no booze since about 5 days ago and I'm down to 2 cigarettes a day. Sounds great but I still feel like crap so what's the point of quitting or cutting back at all? I'm hardly scared anymore so much as just totally over it. I want an answer last week. I want this fixed so I can get back to my life. I want to work. I miss my friends. I miss being comfortable behind the wheel, going shopping, eating, drinking & being merry in public. I miss doing anything besides laying on my couch, drinking water and pretty much only getting up to pee.

Last week I had an appointment with a Cardiologist my PCP referred me to as a precautionary measure. He was the world's biggest asshole with such a lack of compassion that a handful of Facebook friends suggested I send a letter describing as much. He scheduled me for an artery ultrasound & echo cardiogram but couldn't have been too concerned because the soonest they could get me in was the 28th. Terrific. I guess it's not my heart. Or at least there's a very strong chance it isn't. I don't really know because I can't seem to get a straight answer from anyone because no one has a clue what's going on and the circle of referrals continues.

Next we move onto girlie doctors. If that isn't it I'm going to find a Chiropractor, massage therapist and likely an Accupuncturist as well because if Western medicine can't figure me out I might as well start heading East. I'm just going to need someone else to drive me there.

20 comments:

Launna said...

Jenn, I know exactly how you feel... I am pretty sure I was given this health challenge so that I would be forced to take a breather too, I am so over it too, I want to be able to exercise again, all my hard work in losing weight this year is all coming back. I will definitely send good thoughts for you, I hope they figure this out soon!

Insomniac #4 said...

Ugh...that really sucks! Sometimes the uncertainty is worse than the illness, eh? And what is with that asshole cardiologist? I guess some docs think that if you're not dying you're not worth their time. Sorry to inconvenience you, Doc. Your ailments are not to be taken lightly, no matter what they are. For the $$ they make they should greet every patient like a BFF.

Hope you get this figured out soon. Feel better! :-)

Linda Myers said...

So aggravating, a symptom with many possible causes, but they haven't found it yet. Patience may be a virtue, but it's not one of mine.

Thinking of you as you move through this time.

Joan said...

Feels like forever when you feel like crap. So sorry. Sending good thoughts over to you Jenn.

Jenn said...

Let me know about needing a driver. I've got extra free time on my hands these days, and if I can be a shuttle I'd be happy to.

Rosebud Collection said...

I want you to think of anything you did different the last few months..go over everything..even any change in diet. Think Jenn..when did this start?
Pick your brain. Something triggered this and some of these damn doctors are a waste..I have fought them so much while taking care of my mother/husband..but they don't know everything..My uncle/cousin were doctors and always told me.."You know your body, don't let anyone tell you different." Go with your gut..I do hope you are not on any statins..just a thought..Still praying for you to find the answer..xoxoCarolyn

Judi FitzPatrick said...

Let me know if you need a ride, could be there in just a few hours.
Love, Mum

Suldog said...

Jenn, I'm seriously sad to hear that you're not getting any answers. Best I can do is say a prayer for you, and I'll do so as this posts.

Jenn Flynn-Shon said...

Yeah I hear ya on the losing weight thing. I was just getting into a groove with walking and yoga and then boom. Thanks for the happy thoughts!

Jenn Flynn-Shon said...

Thanks for the well wishes my friend. The cardiologist...yeah I mean I don't need a new BFF who shoots a game of pool with me on a Friday night or anything but looking a patient in the eye should come with the job description. Ya know? Hopeful this next doc can give me more insight.

Jenn Flynn-Shon said...

Yeah patience is something I think I lost during week one of lightheadedness. I'm ready to find out some answers so I can fix whatever this is like now. Thanks for your thoughts Linda.

Jenn Flynn-Shon said...

Ain't that the truth my friend! Thanks so much!

Jenn Flynn-Shon said...

Thanks bunches Jenn, I may end up taking you up on that offer at some point and appreciate it more than I could ever express!

Jenn Flynn-Shon said...

I've been thinking about that so much its kind of causing my head to spin to be honest. Nothing really comes to mind except having our air ducts cleaned and buying our new sofa. Neither of which present with the same kind of symptoms allergy wise. Believe me I've done the research. I'm still convinced its early onset menopause based on my symptoms & that part about knowing my body. Seeing the doc who will give me more definitive answers in that department today. Fingers crossed. Thanks so much my friend xoxoxo

Jenn Flynn-Shon said...

I will for sure do that mum love you & thanks so much!

Jenn Flynn-Shon said...

I'm very sad too, its baffling everyone but hopefully one of these doctors can give me some kind of answer soon because I'm kind of losing my mind at this point. Thanks so much my friend for the prayers, every little bit helps so much. xoxoxo

Rosebud Collection said...

Checking in again..any news? Please keep me posted, when you can..
Sending love and prayers..Carolyn

Suldog said...

Any updates for us, Jenn? I hope all is well.

Almost Precious said...

It's the NOT knowing that is always the hardest pill to swallow. If a doctor could give a serious diagnosis, put a name on it, it makes it real, solid, not just a foggy apparition . . . or worse, being considered delusional, a hypochondriac. When we know that things are not right, that there is something wrong with our bodies is it too much to ask doctors to take us seriously and with compassion ?

A few months ago I went to the Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville, Florida, saw the doctors in their Dermatology Dept. I went through all my problems for what seemed like the millionth time. They looked at me as though I was crazy and then a couple of weeks later I get their report that they conclude that I have; "age related sun damage". I would probably buy that if I spent my life basking under the sun, baking my skin to a deep golden brown but I don't and never have. So again it's one step forward and two steps back. :(

I am beginning to wonder if many of humanities health problems could be related to all the plastics that our foods are contained in - and cooked in. All the chemicals in our foods, the colorings and preservatives. Maybe now, after so many years of consumption, mankind is starting to show the ravages of these chemicals ?

Jenn I sincerely feel your frustration and hope that you get some real answers and help soon.

Along These Lines ..... said...

What is it about cardiologists? Heard that many times before. You'd think they'd have more heart - seriously.