Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Getting Rid of Clutter and Other News

Yesterday I wrote a big long post over at my website about getting organized so I can start making money as a freelancer. The post is pretty complete and I’m not going to rehash all of the details I included over there because if you really want to know about it then you can go read that one. I’ll wait…

Now that I started the process I’m finding a LOT of stuff that has been taking up mental, emotional, and physical space in my online world that really has to go. Files I haven’t opened in years, documents with print screen shots from paying bills in 2009 (yeah, seriously), websites that aren’t even operable anymore clogging up my favorites – all things I’m working on deleting. And I hate to say it but many blog links are going to be deleted from my sidebar as well.

The reason I hate to say it is because many of these blogs are written by friends. People I love, people who have become such an important part of my life that they are individually thanked in my acknowledgement page in Reckless Abandon for goodness sake. But our once blossoming blog exchange has fallen by the wayside for some people and it’s time for me to move on. Many of them already have so it’s time to face the truth.

There are friends who do update occasionally, I’ll see something new pop up a few times a year, and I want the 411 when they come back. But there are many friends who haven’t posted on their blog in six months (or more) and in an effort to reduce the overwhelming vibe in my brain I just can’t have those links floating out in space for no reason. I’ll completely understand if you all remove me from your linky-lists as well.

However, if you discover that you feel compelled to start blogging again someday please let me know! I always enjoyed reading your updates and would be very interested in continuing to do so. Otherwise we’ll probably just see each other on Facebook.

• • •

In other news I’m going through some freaky health shit right now. For a few months I’ve had this weird pain in my left abdomen which I wrote off as being part of my job because I sit all day and rarely exercised anymore. I started exercising and sometimes it would go away. We bought a new sofa and it seemed to improve.

But over the past month or so I’ve started to notice it again and then the past couple weeks I’ve been having issues with a somewhat weird form of lightheadedness. Well more like light body because I never feel like I’m going to pass out or get dizzy or anything.

That was the last straw though and I finally went to the doctor this week. Not a kidney stone (his first guess). Not central nervous system (his next guess). I’ve been eating okay, consistently, and drinking about 60 ounces of water a day (more if I work out). Working out is no issue, I don’t get weirdness. Standing or lying down is no issue. Mostly it comes and goes when I’m sitting.

He took blood and is supposed to get back to me in a few days. Last night I started obsessing over not knowing what is up with myself and I almost had a panic attack.

I’m wondering if its early onset menopause because I do get hot flashes and cold sweats sometimes. Insomnia started a year or so ago. I’ve always had social anxiety but it has increased in spades in recent months. I tend to cry at the thought of anything these days. In fact based on this list I have all but maybe four symptoms. I’m freaking out and it’s hard not to think about it. Saying that makes me think more. And then I get more anxious. And that depresses the crap out of me.

Guess I’ll find out soon. I really hope so because Dr. House isn’t real but if I’m being completely honest, I’m really afraid
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14 comments:

Karen said...

I hope everything turns out OK, Jenn. You're in my prayers.

Jenn Flynn-Shon said...

Thanks so much Karen, that means a lot to me. I'll keep everyone posted once I get to and from all doctors over the next couple weeks. xoxoxo

JudisJems said...

{{hugs}} and xolovexo
Mum

#1Nana said...

LOL! I do the same thing, obsess over aches and pains. Unfortunately, as I get older there are a lot more aches and pains. I'm always convincedthat it is a brain tumor and not just old age.

Good luck with the clutter clean out. The problem was taken care of for me when my hard drive blew up...I lost everything and got to start over.

#1Nana said...

Just a thought Jenn...I'm freelancing with my former school district writing grants. It's not huge money,they pay me an hourly rate and then a small percentage of any grants that are awarded. In the past two weeks we were awarded $44,000. in grants. I've got several big ones we're still waiting to hear on. You might want to think about contracting to write grants.
Jann

Jenn Flynn-Shon said...

Thanks Mum ♥ love you

Jenn Flynn-Shon said...

Yeah this is so different from my usual ache and pain though. Generally I've always been a healthy person so to have any kind of weirdness to this level is pretty scary. Should be chatting with the doc soon though.

Thanks for the tip on grant writing, not sure I've got the technical type writing skill but I can take a look into it.

Joan said...

I will be thinking of you Jenn. Deep breaths. :)

Suldog said...

I'm saying a prayer for you as soon as this comment posts.

I totally understand about the "cleaning out" thing. I think you cut people more slack than I do. I wait 45 days. If they haven't posted, I relegate them to another section on the sidebar. Once there, they have a year to post. When (if) they do, I put 'em back in the main section, but at the bottom.

(That's how you can tell who the most prolific posters are, by the way. They all reside near the top because they've never gone more than 45 days without posting. You'll notice you're near the top!)

Launna said...

I was on a huge house cleaning, it felt awesome to de clutter everything. I do have to work on doing the same to my computer... every so often I clean out my email and I am shocked at all the junk I have saved...

As for the menopause, it's tough... it's not easy, I am dealing with it now. The only thing great about it is no more time of the month and I am only 49, I love that aspect of it but not much else.

:)

Jenn Flynn-Shon said...

Thanks Joan, trying to do just that!

Jenn Flynn-Shon said...

Thanks Jim, I appreciate it so much.

Hey that's cool! Also mine are in list with newest posted at the top and you pretty much never dip lower than about 5th or so (except when you announce your vacations but I'd never hold that against you!)

Jenn Flynn-Shon said...

So its good to know that maybe I'm not alone if this is something girly coming much sooner than it does for most people. Thanks for sharing Launna, that's a bit more comforting.

Yeah I'm moving onto email folders (scarier than computer stuff!) as soon as I feel well enough to work for a while!

Almost Precious said...

Hope by now you're feeling like the 'good ole Jenn".

I've pretty much given up on doctors and have come to realize that I'll just have to live with my problems and keep cautioning everyone not to touch me too hard or they'll leave a mark that will be with me forever. Yeah so much for a relationship with my hubby. :( So for the last couple of months I've been feeling sorry for myself and pretty much thinking that life sucks. As for the menopause thing, it strikes my family early, my mother went through it in her mid forties and I experienced the first pangs when I was only 38 - by the time I was 40 it was in full swing.

I'm also on the same page with you about all the clutter that I've accumulated over time - outdated websites in my "fave list" - old blogs - some of which died and were buried ages ago. I don't even want to think about all the photos that are clogging up my pc - photos on etsy, facebook, blogger . . . yuck !!

Anyway hope your Christmas was a joyful one and that you are now feeling better. :)