Saturday, June 2, 2012

Because Alice Raised the Bar…

So after posting my Celeb top five list my friend Alice promptly stole it and reworked it to her own specs.  Well after checking out her post I started thinking of so many more categories and what makes hotness hot to me.

Of course you know that means I’m totally revising my list and revamping based on these new themes running through my head right?  Of course I am.  You’re welcome.

Stay tuned though, the painting should be done next week so I’ll have some house candy to feast your eyes on!  Until then here’s my new & improved (<-- oxymoron) list of celebrity crushes.

Guys that were super-hot in one roll but are just ‘meh’ the rest of the time

Hugh Jackman as Wolverine.  I mean who wouldn’t want a guy that’s literally indestructible with shoulders like that?  It almost makes you not notice the throwback to the Flock of Seagulls hair style.  Pretty much anything he’s done before or since didn’t have quite as much sex appeal. 

Viggo Mortensen as Aragorn.  He had a chainmail vest, mad sword wielding skills, and that long brown hair that screamed ‘hey, I haven’t showered in about a decade but I’m so the guy you don’t take home to meet your mom so let’s get it on up on Weathertop before the Ringwraiths catch up to us and I have to high tail it off to Rivendell where my elf princess awaits my return.’  Or, you know, something like that.

Judd Nelson as John Bender.  I don’t know if it’s because I always had a secret thing for the bad boy types or what but I’m sensing that kind of running theme here.  Bender was the guy that good girls pretended not to notice while fawning over Jake Ryan and his Porsche.  Of course Bender himself said it best “Sweets?  You couldn’t ignore me if you tried.”

I feel like you lost your soul to Hollywood

It pains me to no end to even include him on this particular list because if ever there was a fan of every molecule of this guy’s entire soulful being it would’ve been me (okay, perhaps after Trayce!).  I’ve written before how Waiting for My Rocket to Come saved my sanity while doing home construction.  I’ve made real friends in this world because of this guy’s music bringing us together.   I’ve seen him in concert more times than I should admit.  I know every nuance of his live stuff and pride myself on having known it LONG before “I’m Yours” hit the radio.  I’ve seen him rock a huge stage as a headliner in front of 10,000+ people, as the opening act for Dave Matthews playing in front of 50,000+, and him all alone with a guitar with maybe 200 people in the room.  He had the whole package, cuteness and the vibe.  But his entire being has changed in recent years.  And I flicked him off the pedestal.  It makes me sad; Jason Mraz was thisclose to knocking Sean out of the number one spot.  So you know that shit is serious.

Guys who probably should’ve made the list so I’m including them now

Alex O’Loughlin, which is his Americanized name for Hollywood, his real surname is O’Lachlan, a Scottish name roughly translated to Land of the Lakes.  I can’t even begin to stop laughing at the irony that my brain arrived at with this statement.  Those who are fans of the movie Idiocracy by Mike Judge will know that all of this celebrity crap is just a reason to go drink your butter & be a good little subject.  Land o’Lakes…hot actor…yeah this is kinda how my brain works. 

Let me tell ya somethin’, ya suspect.

I’m also noticing I have a thing for guys with prominent noses in addition to the light eyes & dark hair.  Hmm…

Sports guys

OK so this category could literally go on forever.  Quarterbacks like Steve Young, Doug Flutie, Tom Brady, Joe Montana (back in the day) and of course Favre & Bledsoe.  Baseball players like Nomar Garciaparra, David Wright, Jason Varitek and Adam Wainwright.  But of course with my penchant for all things Townie you know I’m going to be all about the hockey players.  And truly I think it’s safe to say that, aside from the likes of Patrick Kane (another blonde man rule exception) and Carey Price (who is also hilarious – go back & watch this year’s All Star exhibition) the Bruins have traditionally had the hottest overall team in the NHL for decades running.

Don’t believe me?  How about these guys:

I mean, hell, Andy Ference deserves his very own post with a bod like that, hello!  Or maybe I'll just increase the top five to the top twenty-five in order to squeeze him into the lineup...


Anonymous said... and Alice really took this thing and ran with it! That's cool. Now that you both mentioned it, I def. think I could fit all my celeb crushes into more specific categories. Oh well. I'll leave it as it is...BUT since Alice mentioned Amanda Bynes I will give you a quick rundown of my all-time top five celeb no particular order.

Amanda (she was sooooo cute in 'What I Like About You' and 'What A Girl Wants') I was seriously in love with that chick, from her teen years when it kind of freaked out my friends... all the way to her hot/slutty phase when all the guys came around on her. Yeah. She's either #1 or 2.

If she's not #1 then it's Michelle Williams ('Dawson's Creek' era only. Mousey ingenues with uber-short hair aren't really my thing) I probably should have mentioned her when I mentioned Heath Ledger. Oh well. Christina Applegate was my first real celeb crush (Kelly Bundy forever!) and I've liked Elisha Cuthbert since 'The Girl Next Door'... just crazy hot, and a hockey fan too. (though she lost a LOT of points for dating Sean Avery).

As for your list...I saw Jason Mraz on a late night show recently. Or I should say I saw a swashbuckling pirate that sorta looked like he used to be Jason Mraz. lol...what happened to that dude?

I'll have to tell you my Jason Mraz story sometime. It's not really mine, though. It's my brother-in-law's. I'd tell it now, but I'm taking up too much comment space!

You likeCarey Price?!? Blasphemy! lol...jk. And while I'm at it, what's with TT and his 'sabbatical'? Eh, screw him. It's Tuukka Time!!! :)

Ginger said...

I really live this post. I love it so much I'm considering postin gone myself...maybe.
I totally agree with everything you said about Jason too...he's turned into "sensitive new age guy", but he served his purposes where you and I are concerned. ;)

Ginger said...

I swear those typos weren't there when I published that comment.

Alice said...

Love that first bucket...totally agree, but your Viggo speech had me rolling. And that is my FAVORITE Affleck quote of all time.

Suldog said...

Since none of yours turns me on, I'll forgo commenting, except to say that my list would definitely include Jenny Finch. She could pitch inside to me anytime.