I just can't do it anymore.
Yes this will be cryptic; no I don't plan to explain it.
So if that bothers you don't respond.
I don’t want a fucking hug.
I don’t want you to say,
‘It’ll all be okay.’
Because sometimes it just won’t.
Sometimes what I need is to vent, to scream.
What I need is for you to nod and say,
‘I get it, I’ve been there.’
But don’t try to fix me.
I’ve been broken for years.
I will never be whole,
Just because you pat me on the back.
Give me false comfort.
For something you will never understand.
All that shit is so you can feel better.
So you feel like you’ve done the world a big favor,
That you’ve performed some good deed.
But again, I don’t want it.
It isn’t generosity when the recipient doesn’t want to receive.
So here’s where it really gets good.
I’m done pretending.
I know you read, I know you obsess.
Well here I am to say I’m fucking done.
I’m done giving a shit about you.
About all the crap that happened back then.
Get it? O.V.E.R.
So over that I finally have to just say it.
I don’t understand, I will never understand.
I. Can't. Care. Anymore.
Right now I’m letting it go.
I’m moving the fuck on.
Because if I keep sitting around here,
Dwelling, wondering, thinking, recollecting,
I will go freaking stark raving mad.
And I’m already mad enough.
Mad enough to spit nails.
Mad enough to commit something.
Maybe even myself.
I’m breaking the silence right now.
I’m telling you to fuck off.
I’m telling you to leave.
I’m forcing you out of my brain.
Because this is all my own.
Because I need to better me.
Because you have no part in that anymore.
Because this shit doesn’t have a happy ending.
Just the end.
Goodbye to you.
Good riddance to the pain.
Good day to all the shit that went along with it,
The fakeness that came with your alleged love.
The veil dropped away a long time ago.
It just took a lot longer for me to move on.
I’ve moved, now,
It’s over. Now.