Thursday, June 9, 2011

Aaaaand Go

Lack of sharing has not much to do with lack of activity, in fact I’m so busy that my overwhelmed factor is spiking even now as I type up this post. No, the distinct lack of my presence in bloggyland truthfully is because I’m kind of tired of hashing over the same stuff over and over again.

Between preparing for our move in seventeen days, trying to maintain my 4.0, seeing everyone that lives here as much as possible, selling stuff on craigslist and now (Murphy’s Law) two paint jobs right before I go, it's like I have nothing of substance to talk about.

I mean, sure, I could share the finer points of how to get the best deal on boxes or why I loathe British Literature but something tells me it wouldn’t really fill up a blog post. Then again, I’m sure I could find a way to write up some 650 word post about box procurement in my own brand of witty, but right now I’m givin’ ‘er all I got captain and there’s just no wit to go around. Besides, I’d like if at least some of you stuck around to keep reading…and who wants to read about cardboard?

Additionally I could wax on and on about the fact that I was really happy with the punishment the NHL gave Rome for his blind side, late hit that caused Horton to not only go down but to smash his head on the ice so hard that he ended up with a severe concussion and is now out for the remainder of the season. But that’s all hockey talk and other than two of you, there aren’t many of my readers who even like sports, let alone hockey (I don’t think anyway, correct me if I’m wrong).

I guess it might interest everyone to find out that we purchased the Trustees of Reservations passes and all that back in April and have been able to get out to use them a grand total of twice so far. I’m happy to donate money though so I hope our fundage goes to good use! Save the plovers!

Probably the most interesting bit of news though is that Matt and I traveled out to our old city of Springfield last weekend because a few days prior an F3 tornado blazed a half mile wide path straight through the city. We went to see, primarily, if the Vacation House in the Ghetto, the LoL, made it, but also to see if we could do anything. At the time there wasn’t anything organized and Matt has checked but it looks like most of the rallying of help is going to be the final days before we leave or after we’re already gone.

It sucks that we can’t do anything to physically help out with the clean up, etc., the devastation out there was brutal and in a very low income part of town where the residents were already struggling to stay afloat in a city that recently went bankrupt. They didn’t need the added challenge. Although we can’t physically help we at least plan to donate to the Red Cross with the next paycheck. It won’t be much but at least I’ll feel good knowing that water, food, clothes, etc will be provided to a few people. Something is better than nothing.

Aside from my overwhelming urge to cry every five seconds when I think about not being able to just get together with people on a whim for lunch, I’m doing okay and in the end I know this is a smart and good move for Matt and I at the right time in our lives.

Our parents are all in good health and have years ahead of them, all our grandparents have passed on and we have no kids to tie us to a neighborhood/community of people/school system. We’ve wanted to get back on our feet since the bankruptcy but it’s really hard to do in a place that costs so much just to live the everyday, lame-ass life that we live. It’s time to move on and go get ours.

I just wish we could take everyone with us.

Change is something I tend to embrace because without it there is only stagnation. And I think by now you all know I’m a lover of go, go, go. But that doesn’t really make doing it any easier. Getting into a nice routine is good, I get used to it and enjoy the day to day. Shake that routine up and my must-be-organized-at-all-times OCD kicks in and I’m a freak show.

Like this morning when Matt simply told me he had started our list of stuff to get done before we leave and I went off on him like he’d killed a bunny rabbit sitting on a rainbow of flowers or something. I volleyed gems at him like “Its like I’m not involved in planning at all” and “I wanted to do it together because I need to be able to think of things too”. You know, stuff that makes tons of sense.

Of course I apologized and told him what was going on and he absolutely loves me so he accepted my attempt at amends, but I know he can’t really understand. Hell I can’t really understand my own brain half the time, how could I expect him to get something so obscure?

So I basically want to just listen to this song on repeat like all day. Even though every time I hear it now it makes me cry.


Linda Myers said...

This is a crazy time. Give yourself permission to feel crazy!

#1Nana said...

Change is a roller coaster. I hope you can step back and enjoy the ride.

draagonfly said...

Mad props to Matt! :) Us females are tough to deal with when the nest is in upheaval.

Also, give yourself a break girl! Big change like this is effin SCARY no matter how much you want it or know it's good for you or are (or are not) prepared! It took me SIX MONTHS to get my poop in a group to leave NJ and even then I didn't feel like I had it all done when the truck showed up. Plus I'm sure you read my freak out posts before and especially after I got here. :) Happy endings are not a myth tho!

A good way to stay sane is take a few minutes with your coffee in the morning and picture that moment when you're in AZ and the truck is unloaded and you and Matt are sitting alone for the first time in your new apartment. Even though you're surrounded by boxes, you're THERE and it's DONE and all you've got left to do is organize your stuff (which is the fun part). CLING to that image in your head until it becomes the present moment. It will pull you through. Plus think of all the experience that becomes writing material you get to gather during these times! Woohoo!

I am grateful for my crazy life and for you as a friend cuz we are so much alike I know you GET IT. :)

Rosebud Collection said...

It will all fall into place..the older I get, the more I realize you just have to sit back and one step at a time..don't look at the whole picture..if you do..that is when you feel like you are going off a cliff.
It is a wonderful time for you adventure..Sending you love and PEACE..Carolyn/Rosebud.

pastrywitch said...

Killed a bunny rabbit sitting on a rainbow of flowers -even when you're crazy-stressed you're funny :)
It will all come right in the end.
I don't know. It's a mystery.

wv: obitie. The Twitter version of an obituary.

Bridgete said...

Re: your random snapping at Matt as if he'd killed a bunny rabbit sitting on a rainbow of flowers (which, I agree with Kate, is funny as hell)...I don't even have as much to be stressed about as you do and I went off on Marcelo the other day for trying to correct how I was pronouncing some Portuguese word. I was yelling about how that sound doesn't exist in English and maybe he should just let me have an accent and leave me alone or something. Then I stormed away to get ready to leave for work. Then I felt bad, went back, apologized, and cried. All over a freaking word in another language. SOOOO, yeah. Sometimes you just snap over stupid shit. The men who love us will understand. :)

Almost Precious said...

The stress levels build as the deadline for moving comes nearer, it's normal and sometimes venting just helps to relieve the pressure.

This spring has seen a lot of horrible destruction by both Mother Earth (earthquake/massive tsunami in Japan) to category F5 tornados plowing through the states. Maybe the "Mothers" are trying to tell us something like; we've made a mess of this planet, changed the climate and over populated our coastal areas and the earth in general.