Saturday, July 3, 2010

This Is Serious So I’m Compelled to Post it Twice

A lot of you don’t know but I write another blog, its one I share with a very select number of people and is where I vent about all the shit that really irritates me.

This morning I read an email that seriously touched a nerve and it forced me to write a post that came together in about thirty minutes. After I posted it I reread the words I had put out there and suddenly had wished I had posted it here so more people would know how I feel.

But because it was so perfectly suited to the theme of my other blog I decided not to delete it. Instead I apologize to the few of you who will see this twice but I feel compelled to share it with all of you.

Chapter Eight -- Outsourcing All the Men with Women?

This morning I tucked in to read my email and opened one from my sister with the subject line “FW: The End of Men”. I assumed it was an internet joke. I was wrong and it turns out, the real joke is going to be on all of us women if we don’t slow this train of alleged progress way down.

As women, we have fought with dignity and pride to claim our equal rights in this world and nothing makes me happier that I am just as likely as a man now to get fired, hold office, go bankrupt or make a million dollars. I personally, in conjunction with my entire gender, am smart, funny, ambitious and headstrong; going after everything I want.

But have I left the men in my life behind as a result?

The article she sent put it out there plainly -- what people are looking for, as far as qualities go, is the ability to communicate and openness, not to mention stillness and focus. Apparently men do not possess these qualities as it further went on to share that, not only are women the predominant gender in the working world now, but that scientists are working on a way to sort sperm for gender selection.

Everyone get out your paint, we’re coloring the world pink. Either that or we're turning it into Gattaca. There really is a fine line and I think we've started to cross it.

I started seeing this trend take hold years ago when a friend and I noticed how many women treated their men like dogs. They assumed he would cheat, so she beat him to the punch. They presumed he would lie, so she lied better. They were tired of being treated as a “lesser” gender, so she dumped his sorry ass, got a job making six figures, a sperm donor, a big house, and a full time nanny to raise her kid.

Can someone please explain to me what the men of this generation did so wrong? I have seen them embrace our ambition and encourage us to make the most of ourselves. I have seen them stay home with the children and be full time dads when their women have gone back to work. I have watched them hold a purse in a store, cook dinner, clean the house, work hard, prioritize the women in their life beyond anything else.

And we somehow find fault in that? Fault enough to all but tell them they are useless? Um, yeah.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not a traitor to progress or anything and I am fully grateful for the right to vote, work, plus all the other stuff that men tried to hold us back from for so long, and we were able to finally take control of our own lives just a few short decades ago. But I think we are letting the power that comes with that very control go right to our heads and using it for evil, not good.

I get it. Men did it too. Way back in the day it was generally men who were screaming ‘Witch!’, ‘Off with her head!’, ‘Woman, go make me a chicken pot pie!’. We were, according to the powers that be (mostly men at the time) inferior and not much more than common help and a baby machine. So believe me, I get why some of us would be a little bit, let’s just say, anxious to put our own needs first.

But I think we missed the point of balance and now everything is tipping way too far over the edge.

There are machines to do heavy lifting, which women can drive. Vibrators for pleasure, which are so realistic these days it is almost scary. Exterminators can kill the bugs, which women are taking on as a career more frequently than ever. The local sperm bank or adoption agency will be more than happy to provide a gal with a baby. Self betterment books teach all of us how to treat ourselves with the utmost respect.

Wow. The more I think about it, the more I realize we are just a gender full of promise. A gender full of possibility for what the future could hold. If women could not only run the home but industry as well, we could surely run the planet, and since we wouldn’t even need men to procreate anymore, we could go right ahead and phase them out completely. And in such a short span of time.

A world full of nothing but women. Just the thought scares the ever loving shit out of me. Women in power? Right on. Women in prominent roles and industries? Absolutely. But women as the only necessary gender? I’m not sorry to say an emphatic no.

There is nothing, not even the love of myself, that can take the place of my husband’s arms around me when he says I love you. I respect men both in and out of power because when it all boils down to it, each of us is just human, regardless of the body parts.

And humans should all be afforded the same rights. Isn’t that what we women spouted back then? Now we are taking back everything we supposedly stood for by rolling right over the other gender that we fought to take it back from.

We are no better than they were back then. Shame on us.

I am an ambitious woman who is trying to make a place and name for myself in this big world and perhaps there are times when I will be doing a lot of that on my own, but to think that means I don’t need the man I married, my male relatives, friends and acquaintances along my journey is just lunacy.

Be careful what you wish for ladies or some day all of us will be sitting around a lonely table, wondering where all the “good” men went, very likely blaming them for their own disappearance.”


Rosebud Collection said...

You know Jenn, this is a frightening thought..but there are still many that don't think and act this way..When people would say to me.."Why have children, look at the times" feeling..Our children will help change this world..That is what you must look at..your loving neices/nephews, they are our future..Not these ambitious,greedy people. We will always have people like this..All the Germans didn't believe like Hitler..
In the end, these woman will be very bitter from all the love they will have missed, but it was their choice.
Keep the faith..we will not go down without a fight..Now don't you like my logic?..xoxoRosebud.

Jenn Flynn-Shon said...

Carolyn I absolutely love your logic :-) Thank you my friend, you couldn't be more right!

Joan said...

I am all for progress too, but....I can not IMAGINE my life without all the wonderful men I know.

Julie said...

No joke, back in 6th grade we had an assignment where we were told to come up with an imaginary society & culture. My best friend at the time came up with exactly what you posted here. Granted, they all had pink skin and red hair, but other than that, her society simply "farmed" men. It was freaky then, and it's still scary now.

I personally think much of the "feminist" movement has taken a sharp detour from where the original suffragists started. People like Susan B. Anthony & Elizabeth Cady Stanton weren't just for the betterment of women: they were for equal rights for all people.

ginger said...

I still think it's idiocracy at its worst for people to even think like that. I think that perhaps today's society is undergoing some sort of exodus in the sense that so many generations of women were oppressed and suppressed. all of a sudden we have all of these liberties and many women don't know what to do with them. they are bitter and feel the anger of their mothers and grandmothers so it's as though we need a generation or two of healing to find that balance so we can all get a long without any mistrust or gender-bias.
just an idea, but i think we'll be okay in the long run as long as we don't kill the earth first.

Chris said...

Great points, Jenn, but I think the ungrateful women you're portraying are probably in the minority.

At least, I hope so.

Thanks for sticking up for us guys, though, not many people do.

Chris Stone said...

"when it all boils down to it, each of us is just human, regardless of the body parts."

well put.

thank you for visiting despite my blog-funk. i appreciate it and have missed your well written posts.

Rosebud Collection said...

Back again for a visit..Tell me, is this heat a killer? I can take heat, but the humidity is awful. Will still take it over snow, so I better keep quiet.
Had family visiting, so have been slow blogging. Hope you are having a good time this summer..
Take care my dear friend, always in my thoughts, even if I am not visiting..xoxoRosebud.

Rosebud Collection said...

I noticed I spelled neice/instead of niece..I tell you Jenn, I have problems..not a good proof reader..
How is it going? Checking in again hope all is well and you are keeping cool..xoxoRosebud.

Suldog said...

Thank you.

Wflynnaz said...

Thank you for looking at that article from a different angle. I felt similarly when I read that 75% of gender requests are for female babies. Do we really want that much estrogen swarming around? UGH!

However, I must say that it is inspiring as a professional woman to have read that "for every 2 men who get a college degree this year 3 women will do the same." It's not about beating out the men to me it's about having the sense of self worth to continue our education and to have the ability and the courage to go for job positions in management. We women deserve the right to do that.

I must agree that we have become something close to reverse racism though. Women feel so entitled because of the suffering of our predecessors that we have forgotten it was about equality not stepping on those we perceive to be weaker.

I could never imagine the world without men nor would I want to. As you know, I love them too much for that... ;)- Love and Hugs, Wendy

Almost Precious said...

I concur that most women, in civilized parts of the world, only wish equality...nothing more...nothing less. But as is true of all things there are extremes at both ends of the spectrum. Along with the power-hungry-man-hater we have those who wish to make all abortions, even those to save the mother's life, illegal and take away every woman's access to any and all forms of birth control. However the middle ground covers the most area and it is here that sound reasoning and common sense prevails.

Of course there are still places, such as the middle east, where women are regarded as inferior beings and are viewed as merely chattel, much like a goat or a camel. Both extremes exist in this world and I pity them both. The woman who views herself above men and chooses to live her life without a mate will probably look back in remorse at her folly.

Rosebud Collection said...

Just checking in on you.I am sure you are enjoying the summer..but I didn't want you to think I forgot you..xoxoRosebud/Carolyn