I’m all for parties. Attending one can be a fun and relaxing time where everyone comes together to laugh and smile, sometimes exchange gifts, eat, drink and do all the be merry crap that makes it a celebration. The thing I can not wrap my head around is having a party to celebrate something that hasn’t happened yet.
Specifically, I’m talking about a baby shower.
One of my closest friends is having one today and although I have my personal beliefs and whatnot, I do plan to go. But…and this is a huge but…I will go only because I love her to death and we have been friends for twenty some odd years. Otherwise, inviting me to one of these things is probably a useless waste of a stamp.
I have been to a grand total of three baby showers that I can readily recall -- my sister in law’s (with the twins, not her youngest), my best friend’s, and the same friend who is having one today (14-ish years ago with her first born). I have been invited to more than that but there is something inside my brain that can not wrap around the concept.
Call it superstition or whatever but it just seems wrong to celebrate something that isn’t even physically there.
It is the all too scary, I can’t even really say it out loud, “what if” factor.
Never would I wish a child to be, mother, father, (whoever) harm but the baby isn’t actually here yet so how can I go out and buy loads of stuff for it? Not to mention, Doctors have been known to be wrong. What if they say it’s a girl but, oops…suddenly a little bundle of baby boy is wearing a pink dress home from the hospital? Sure there are worse tragedies than that, and that is the very reason I have a tough time with the concept.
I’m all for the biggest ever crowd of friends and family showing up at the hospital the day the child is actually born with a slew of stuff -- diapers, car seats, playpens, clothes, etc. -- but why do we pile into a room a month or two before there is a real being and ogle over a bunch of stuff that we end up handing off to a worn out, tired, pregnant woman who then just has to find a place in her home to organize it all?
So when I do go to these things I never, ever, buy baby things. Instead I focus on mom to be who, at 8 months pregnant, could probably really use a break. Especially when she’s already got a couple kids at home who need her attention and effort. Since I haven’t gone to the shower yet & I don’t know if my friend reads my blog I won’t reveal what her gift is but suffice to say there is no way she could use it for baby stuff.
In about 20 days she will likely be giving birth, then and only then, I will spoil this baby rotten, but until then, all the spoiling rotten goes right toward my friend.