Saturday, January 16, 2010

Sometimes I Just Suck

In the world of infinite choices it seems that I have become lost, floating out into a deep sea of too many of them and I end up disconnecting almost completely from certain things simply because I start to feel too overwhelmed. I find it’s too hard to keep up, so I just stop trying.

After adding in an hour walk on the treadmill everyday, something else had to give, considering there are, sadly, still only twenty four hours in a day. I found what I ended up completely letting go of was technological correspondence via computer. Well not all of it, Facebook remained because that is quick and takes far less effort, but everything else simply came to a screeching halt just inches from the brick wall of proverbialness.

Blogs, email, tweets, they all fell right off my virtual radar in the past week. It wasn’t that I never entered by blog, sure I did. In fact I even wrote a piece just a few days ago. But then once it was posted, I clicked back to my dashboard to check out everyone else’s work, saw the time and thought ‘gee I better get a walk in before lunch or else I won’t have time to edit’.

And so it went. Every day.

So I have sat here contemplating how I want to handle this situation and what do I do? Well of course I completely update my blog template as well as write a new post. I mean, duh? Its not like those 45 minutes would have been better spent reading other blogs, no, no. I have come to the conclusion that online correspondence will just have to happen twice a week during the work week when I’m not walking.

But then again I hate to be so rigid and formal, bleh.

So that’s something else that’s really been bugging me lately. I have completely lost my sense of humor. I have not a clue where I put it, though I know it must be on a shelf around here somewhere. This happens to me sometimes, my wit just dies, and it scares the freaking bejeezus out of me because it’s kind of part of my overall personality so I don't want to let the early onset take it away forever.

Witty, snappy, quick comebacks used to be my specialty. I think maybe I’ve been working on this book for too long, I have become my analytical female lead character. Damn it. Well at least I know what’s happened and that means sometime within the next couple months the old me will be back again.

At least she better be. I’m kind of tired of sucking at being me.

16 comments:

Karen said...

I think you're missing CA ;) Hang in there... you'll be back :) Love the new look of the blog!

pastrywitch said...

More time in the day would be awesome. Mercury went direct yesterday, so maybe that will help.

Aloquin said...

Great, insightful blog. I'm a follower now! I know what it's like not to have a lot of time... when you sit down to read blogs, it apparently flies out the proverbial window. But fear not in waiting for the "Old You" to return... simply find peace in combining this and the old you into a new amalgamation. :)

Jenn Flynn-Shon said...

You're so right Karen lol, thanks!

I really hope so Kate, I'm feeling so scattered I need to reign it back in.

Thanks for stopping by Aloquin & for following :-) Time indeed does fly when reading blogs, mostly because there are so many good ones to read it is addicting!

Judi FitzPatrick said...

P.S. Thank goodness Mercury has gone direct!

Judi FitzPatrick said...

I guess the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree, I often feel just as you've written here. It will pass and you'll move on to the next phase.
Peace and Hugs, Mum

ginger said...

oh my god i love the new blog template!!!! you don't suck, you rock. walking is more important than reading our blogs everyday. i can't read everyone's blogs everyday either, it's a full time job all by itself so i just get a read and a comment in where i can.

it's good enough to know you're still here...stalking quietly from a distance. heehee

Rosebud Collection said...

Jenn, tell me anyone that is creative that doesn't have times like this? I am fighting to keep my blog going..but that will change. The thing is, don't give in to it..I think we have to have these types of things happen to us..If everything went well all the time, how would we know when things were bad? Now don't you like my logic?
Take care my dear friend. I am always thinking of you..xoxoRosebud/Carolyn

Jenn Flynn-Shon said...

Yeah Mum it usualy does pass and then I end up doing everything at once but somehow feeling like I can and also somehow managing to pull it off.

Ginger thanks, glad you like it! I was so bored with the blue & it was definitely time to be more "me-ish" lol. I'm always stalking...mwah haha

You couldn't be more correct Carolyn! I do like your logic, in fact, because without one we can't really have the other, it is so true. This chaos will pass & bring smoother seas I suppose :-)

Almost Precious said...

Your new blog template was a surprise, but I like it. Change is good for a change. Keeps us from getting stuck in a rut.
Sounds like you might have a case of the winter blahs. I'm sure it will soon pass. Maybe a trip to Cancun would be most medicinal and kill off that winter blah virus? I'll meet you down there. =D

Elizabeth Bradley said...

Shake it up. It looks good on you.

Joan said...

Love the new look on your blog. Yes, we all have up days and down days. I just watched a video for work. Attitude was the major point. It's not always easy but it does make a difference. Always love reading your thoughts.

spottedwolf said...

eat what you like....

love who ya want...

kiss the mirror...

go nekkid when ya can....

play with fire....

bang the drums raucously....

write what ya want ..when ya want.....no more and no less...

Suldog said...

Ah, you're the best you I know. Chill.

Stuff like that happens, though, when you try to become perfessional. I know that, as much as I love playing music, I lost some of my joy at listening to it as I learned more about how it was done. I became too analytical concerning the playing I was hearing.

It's worth deciding if you love reading more than writing. I decided that I liked playing a bit more than I enjoyed listening, so I made the choice to continue on. Had I not enjoyed playing as much, I probably would have quit and retained more of my enjoyment of listening. Something to think about.

Chris Stone said...

sorry you're feeling sucky! spring will be here soon! hope the book is doing well!

Bridgete said...

I haven't been reading OR writing blogs, so you're a little better than me. As for your humor, I totally understand freaking when something that is so YOU has decided to take a hiatus. I'm sure it'll come back. =)