I can not wake up to this:
anymore or I am most certainly going to lose my mind. In the past three weeks we have had one, yes one day with sun. The little blip of sunshine this past weekend was short lived. Even before I finished writing the post it was gone. I am pretty sure it did not rain that day. At least I think so. It’s hard to remember what day rained when every day seems to rain.
I want out of this movie. No matter how funny Bill Murray is.
S.A.D. is not something one should ever have to experience, but least of all in the summer. Yes yesterday was the Solstice, the official first day of my favorite season. The day that the birds sing and the hugest flaming star burns pale bottoms on lazy weekend days.
Or maybe that is just the reverie of my soul’s desires talking. Time to snap back to the real world and look for the silver lining in all of this right? So what are the advantages to constant rain?
► No need to put clothes in the dryer they will be wet again in moments due to the humidity in the air.
► Toilet paper is more like baby wipes because that constant humidity dampens and really nicely expands the quilting.
► It doesn’t matter worth a damn what I do with my hair; it falls when I go outside anyway.
► Or I get to wear a hat.
► A daily free car wash.
► There is no pressure to smile.
► I get to put the lifespan of CFL’s to the test; since it always seems like night inside they get constant use.
► Because of FM radio I have become so well versed in all the songs that involve weather of any sort in the words or the title that I would sweep the category on Jeopardy. Of course the coolest has to be Milli Vanilli.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, I loved you. Those guys were Fab. And Rob of course.
I noticed though that the day not yet revealed on Yahoo weather is Thursday. My birthday. I am ordering Mother Nature to cease with her crying, it isn’t as if I am some old hag or anything. I’m only turning thirty…ssssss…..mumble…grumble…Oh okay fine, I will tell you.
I will be thirty six this year. Crossing the threshold toward forty. No turning back now. Closer to fifty than twenty one starting overnight on June 24 at 1:58:01 AM. No kids and not a cougar (unless a three year age difference really counts). I get to write for a living and as of Saturday will have a dishwasher. Life is not all that bad in the grand scheme of things.
But none of that matters at all because I might just off myself over Seasonal Effective Disorder before we even get to Thursday. Never mind Saturday.
Please. I beg, plead, bargain and negotiate with you Mrs. Nature. It is time. I really want to move my mattress without having to wrap it in plastic and it would be oh so nice to take a walk without a slicker or my boots. My little pasty feet are in serious need of being back in flip flops again without turning into toesicles. Not to mention that it is mud, not mold, that is good for the skin. I am tired of being green and fuzzy. Moss is not a good look on anyone.
So go ahead and knock it off.