Monday, May 18, 2009

Strong Enough

I was driving home from a client today with my iPod set on shuffle as it usually is. The first ten songs were by such eclectically different artists that it made me chuckle. At about ten minutes from home, Oreo, my iPod, played the song Strong Enough by Sheryl Crow. I realize the song has been out for a whole bunch of years but as I sang along to every word it hit me as if I was hearing it for the first time. It is so cool when that happens.

The lyrics really struck me today for some reason. Probably because I know that Matt suffers in silence on a daily basis dealing with my fucked up insanity. For those who don’t know the song:

God, I feel like hell tonight
Tears of rage I cannot fight
I'd be the last to help you understand
Are you strong enough to be my man?

Nothing's true and nothing's right
So let me be alone tonight
‘Cause you can't change the way I am
Are you strong enough to be my man?

Lie to me
I promise I'll believe
Lie to me
But please don't leave

I have a face I cannot show
I make the rules up as I go
So try and love me if you can
Are you strong enough to be my man?

When I've shown you that I just don't care
When I'm throwing punches in the air
When I'm broken down and I can't stand
Will you be man enough to be my man?

Lie to me
I promise I'll believe
Lie to me
But please don't leave

So of course this got me thinking about strength and all of the things we all put up with when we are in a relationship. I am fully aware there are few in the world who could actually deal with me in some kind of forever capacity; I am a complete mess and yes I do indeed make the rules up as I go. If you are the type of person who can flow with it and likes surprises you are probably set. The funny thing is that I tend to accept people at face value most of the time; I just accept that they are who they are.

Maybe I am just lucky enough to have found another person who can do the same. Perhaps Matt is strong enough after all.


Chris said...

I think that's the key, Jenn, to find someone whose agenda does not include the phrase "Change (insert name) into the person I want him/her to be). With that as a baseline, the relationship has a great chance.

pastrywitch said...

Awesomely sweet, Jenn.

KC McAuley said...

Jenn - I know that wondering if anyone can be strong enough to put up with me. I still like to hope it's possible for me. And it's incredibly sweet that you know how great Matt is. I'm really really happy for both of you - and thrilled that you have befriended my Bridgete.

Rosebud Collection said...

What a nice song and don't be so hard on yourself. Your ways are what make you..and that is what Matt loves..

Jenn Flynn-Shon said...

Thanks all, it pleases me to no end that he and all of you for some mystical reason embrace my crazy :)

ginger said...

wow, this just made me cry. you're wonderful jenn...and from what i've seen of matt on FB and heard of him from you, he seems equally wonderful. i'm actually thoroughly considering rethinkng my take on marriage because of the two of you.

Jenn Flynn-Shon said...

OK Ginger now you just made me cry a little :) You are too sweet :)