I can not be so careless anymore
My heart is racing around at a billion beats per second
But it has slowed to the point of non existence
Where is the reset button?
Why does everything have to be ‘shoulda?
What will I say when I am forced to face it?
Will I lay it all out;
Is there a magical way to shut off caring?
In another lifetime I know there were other things
In that analogous existence there is something to hold onto
An alternate life in a parallel universe
If only I could be so lucky
If everything is nothing anyway what does it matter?
There are bridges to build and burn to the ground
There are ways to get around it
But there is no way to cross the divide
It is raging and bubbling and spits out like a geyser
It crashes down around me and shoves me into the ground
Like a hammer pounding at the top of my head
The feeling is a dull ache that has always been there
All at once I feel fury and comfort for the pain
I vehemently defend my position until I faint
There is no use trying to explain it
The white noise is making me deaf
The screaming is silent
The selections were made
Problems are clear
A bond is broken
Adoration is a mask